*My Mom is making me ANGRIER by the day*

Johnny_has · 01-01-2004, 08:58 AM

Aggh, where do I begin... this will sound unusual because most people here are talking about parents it's usually how they don't care about their kids. Vice versa for me, my mother is WAY TO NICE, she is completely passive, I can not do ANYTHING wrong in her eyes...

I'll give you an example, yesterday I was driving her new model car and I reversed and hit a tree, busted the rear view light. I get home, while most kids parents would go ballistic or at least give them a lecture my mother just says "OH don't worry about it, it can happen to anyone, it was an accident...." Nothing... She didn't even want me to pay for it! She said she'll pay for it because "I need my money" after insisting for about 30minutes she grudgingly gave up and allowed me to pay for the repairs...

She doesn't even care that I don't help around the house at all, SHE NEVER ASKS ME TO DO ANYTHING around the house ie; dishes, taking out the garbage, nothing. I know you're going to say you shouldn't have to be told, just do it. But I'm trying to get her to be ASSERTIVE, she has NO backbone!

Just for once I want her to blast me for something I do wrong! Do you think I ever do, never. It makes me ANGRY. Even when I talk to her these days there is anger creeping into my voice, I often shoot venom at her for things she does that piss me off and she doesn't say anything!! She is ALWAYS sorry for things she has no reason to be sorry for! She then apologizes 12x for it while I just bitterly tell her "Jesus mom, you have to stop apologizing! it really gets on my nerves when you apologize for nothing!" But she still does it.... Driving me insane. She is constantly buying things, like 2 days ago she got me a new computer for my bedroom. I don't want a new computer!

I want my mom to be assertive! She is 100% passive! I never do anything wrong in her eyes, I'm getting annoyed and I'm starting to act nasty to her because of my frustration with her... How can I get her to GROW a BACKBONE and stand up for herself? I'm 20yrs old but like a baby everything wrong I do is "just an accident"...

I'd move out of home to get away but I don't have enough money. What should I do?? She is driving me insane!

tough_girl · 01-01-2004, 09:23 AM

Oh, Johny! I just have to say how lucky you are.. I wish my mother is like that too.

I think you should have a talk with her. Tell her how she's making you go ballistc but sometimes you need to control your own anger. It's not because she doesn't have a backbone, she loves you so much. It sounds like you're the only child and your father isn't in the picture. If it's like this, it's obvious how much you mean to her, if you're the only close relative to her.

You need to understand her needs too. Now that she's growing old, she might feel useless and wishes to help her only child. To feel important, she doesn't want you to do the chores, so that she could do that by her own. She bought you a new computer, hoping that you would thank her and once again she would feel important.

There are things that might just drive you insane and irritate you but when you start to think and understand the other party involved, you'll feel that it's not that bad after all. Love your mother while she is still around, do not only grieve when she is gone.

I hope this advise helped.

Wish you good luck.

swift44 · 01-02-2004, 10:18 PM

why dont you try doing stuff around the house. You have been blesssed with a mom who doesnt complain or blow everything out of proportion jus try to learn to show your mom how much you care about her instead of complaining that she doesnt yell.

Cid · 01-03-2004, 04:30 AM

Just be happy that your mom is nice. She might be too nice but that is not a bad thing. Just help her around the house and stuff like that. If it bothers you that much then I sugest that you tell her that it bothers you.

01-01-2004, 08:58 AM	#1
Johnny_has Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: In Uranus Posts: 159	*My Mom is making me ANGRIER by the day* Aggh, where do I begin... this will sound unusual because most people here are talking about parents it's usually how they don't care about their kids. Vice versa for me, my mother is WAY TO NICE, she is completely passive, I can not do ANYTHING wrong in her eyes... I'll give you an example, yesterday I was driving her new model car and I reversed and hit a tree, busted the rear view light. I get home, while most kids parents would go ballistic or at least give them a lecture my mother just says "OH don't worry about it, it can happen to anyone, it was an accident...." Nothing... She didn't even want me to pay for it! She said she'll pay for it because "I need my money" after insisting for about 30minutes she grudgingly gave up and allowed me to pay for the repairs... She doesn't even care that I don't help around the house at all, SHE NEVER ASKS ME TO DO ANYTHING around the house ie; dishes, taking out the garbage, nothing. I know you're going to say you shouldn't have to be told, just do it. But I'm trying to get her to be ASSERTIVE, she has NO backbone! Just for once I want her to blast me for something I do wrong! Do you think I ever do, never. It makes me ANGRY. Even when I talk to her these days there is anger creeping into my voice, I often shoot venom at her for things she does that piss me off and she doesn't say anything!! She is ALWAYS sorry for things she has no reason to be sorry for! She then apologizes 12x for it while I just bitterly tell her "Jesus mom, you have to stop apologizing! it really gets on my nerves when you apologize for nothing!" But she still does it.... Driving me insane. She is constantly buying things, like 2 days ago she got me a new computer for my bedroom. I don't want a new computer! I want my mom to be assertive! She is 100% passive! I never do anything wrong in her eyes, I'm getting annoyed and I'm starting to act nasty to her because of my frustration with her... How can I get her to GROW a BACKBONE and stand up for herself? I'm 20yrs old but like a baby everything wrong I do is "just an accident"... I'd move out of home to get away but I don't have enough money. What should I do?? She is driving me insane! __________________ I'm not a slave, to a god, that doesn't exist!-Manson

01-01-2004, 09:23 AM	#2
tough_girl Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Somewhere I belong Posts: 155	Oh, Johny! I just have to say how lucky you are.. I wish my mother is like that too. I think you should have a talk with her. Tell her how she's making you go ballistc but sometimes you need to control your own anger. It's not because she doesn't have a backbone, she loves you so much. It sounds like you're the only child and your father isn't in the picture. If it's like this, it's obvious how much you mean to her, if you're the only close relative to her. You need to understand her needs too. Now that she's growing old, she might feel useless and wishes to help her only child. To feel important, she doesn't want you to do the chores, so that she could do that by her own. She bought you a new computer, hoping that you would thank her and once again she would feel important. There are things that might just drive you insane and irritate you but when you start to think and understand the other party involved, you'll feel that it's not that bad after all. Love your mother while she is still around, do not only grieve when she is gone. I hope this advise helped. Wish you good luck. __________________ He who asks, is a fool for 5 minutes and he who is silent is a fool forever - chinese proverb There is no right answer in life. No one is perfect. Life isn't perfect but it's our responsibility to live it to the fullest.- one of my own

01-02-2004, 10:18 PM	#3
swift44 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Philly Age: 21 Posts: 377	why dont you try doing stuff around the house. You have been blesssed with a mom who doesnt complain or blow everything out of proportion jus try to learn to show your mom how much you care about her instead of complaining that she doesnt yell. __________________ -----To live is to suffer... but to survive well thats to find the meaning in the suffering-----

01-03-2004, 04:30 AM	#4
Cid Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Cedar City, Utah, USA Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 903	Just be happy that your mom is nice. She might be too nice but that is not a bad thing. Just help her around the house and stuff like that. If it bothers you that much then I sugest that you tell her that it bothers you. __________________ The Shy Guy, Shyness will be the death of me. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.