Fired for misconduct, looking for better career

Long story short, I got caught badmouthing my company in an email and they let me go. I can't get unemployment because they won't let me have it because I was fired for misconduct on company time. It was a stupid thing to do, but I've learned from it and will never do it again.

Now, I'm looking for another job in an entirely different field, and my direct supervisor from the job I got fired from is giving me good references. I have been given some offers for jobs with acceptable pay but no benefits. My girlfriend and most of my friends say hold out for something better where I'm happy and the whole package is good, or my unhappiness will cause me to be looking for a job in two years or so.

Fact is, although my parents are giving me money to pay bills (a fact that I hate), I keep thinking that these jobs I'm not accepting are the boats and helicopters, and I'm the man on the roof, with the floodwaters rising around me, if you know that story.

Are they giving me good advice? Why does it feel so bad to turn down a job because the money or benefits aren't good enough? I'm getting into my mid-30's, live alone, and want to settle down in everything, especially a career.

Help!

You should go and get a job until you get a job that you would like to do. Dont turn down all or there will be nothing left for you to work. You need to get a job to help you get back on your feet.

How long have you been unemployed?

Reason I ask is, you may HAVE to take something that's not ideal to begin with - think of it as a "stepping stone," so when you interview your employment history is still recent, as are your references. Then - keep looking! You don't have to settle for something without benefits permanently, I know I sure wouldn't, but it gives you something in the short term - or heck, go put in your resume at a temp agency. Tell them you're looking for temp to permanent - these jobs let you get a good feel for how a company works before you sign on the dotted line, you'll see what morale is like with the other emplpyees and have a good idea of how you'd be treated as a permanent employee. And since it IS with an agency - you're not committed, it's no mark against you if you're not there for years. Get one you hate? Talk to the temp agency and ask them to find you something else as soon as possible. They keep records of how happy or unhappy people are temping there - chances are you WON'T be the first to ask to be relocated. You get one you really like, go to personnel and ask what employee benefits are. Like what you hear? Talk to the manager you're working for and sell yourself, tell him or her you like working there, like the way they treat their staff, and if an opening comes up, you'd love to be considered for a permanent position. Especially if you've already got a good track record, most managers are happy to pay the agency fee to get someone they KNOW is reliable and will be happy working there.

Was it really only a single incident that got you fired? Often, than can be fought, but there does come a time when you feel your working relationship with a company is basically over. Once your attitude towards your employer makes a change for the worst, it quite often is time to leave and work elsewhere.

I don't know what field you're in, but if you don't find a job to your liking immediately, here are a couple of things to do:

1. Become self employed in your field. Although you may find it difficult to find contracts etc., it will appear better on your resume. It will seem, and in fact will be that case, that you are employed. It will also keep you in contact with what you want to be doing. People around town may start to associate your name with what you do, and when you start to work for a larger company again, they may be an asset.

2. Take some relevant training if possible. Don't waste the time unemployed not forwarding your career. A big part of a career is keeping up on the latest developments in your field, and can often involve training. Again, it will allow you to make some contacts with people. If you're in a high tech field, quite often recruiters attend training seminars with the sole purpose of identifying possible new employees.

Best of luck

This is all really good advice. I have been really punishing myself over this. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. I try to be a good person, but something in me snapped.

Yes, it was one incident. I was a good worker up until... When they let me go, they said they were puzzled because no one had anything bad to say against me. They even gave me two weeks' severance and said they would give me good references, which is why the denial of unemployment is puzzling.

I'm wary of taking the no-benefits jobs because, while I know they're not a career, my resume is already spotty enough--as a grad student, I had about five jobs in the past five years. Employers have remarked on my record.

Today, I'm going in to another temp agency and asking for temp-to-hire positions. I've gone into two others but, after promising a lot of work, they never found me anything. And they're still advertising all these jobs that fit my qualifications--when I call, they say they don't have anything but they'll keep looking. And this is a bigger temp agency.

Now, I have another question: once I do get something temp-to-hire, how difficult would it be for me to relocate from Los Angeles to Orange County?

Should I find an apartment to share, since a landlord might question me working for a temp agency?

Any suggestions? My girlfriend lives there--her apartment is too small and she just moved away from her mother and wants some time alone. She's told me I can crash there until I get my own place after finding something permanent, but I'm not sure how well that will work out. I have to give my landlord notice really soon, too; we're coming up on the First really fast...

I just want to thank everyone again, and when I'm back on my feet again, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know and I'll sure try to.

I don't know the employment laws where you are, but in Canada that would sound like they did something improperly. A single incident should never justify that type of action. Everybody has a bad day now and then.

Have you sought any advice on a legal position regarding a larger severence package? If it's a wrongful dismissal, although it's not something you may wish to present to prospective employers, but it might help with the unemployment eligability. Not to mention from a money perspective.

The job was in entertainment, and I was disparaging of some new clients--mentioned their names--they'd picked up, said something about that and some hearsay from another employee regarding company insolvency. This through an email in a chat room on company time. I am from a small town, and didn't know a lot about the internet.

I did something wrong. It was stupid. And now I'm paying for it. But I have learned my lesson.

I am appealing to unemployment, though. I don't know what'll happen, but the bosses told me when they called me in to ask about it that they didn't want to fire me or ruin my life, but that I should go home for the day and think about it over the weekend. I even asked what I could do to make amends, but they just had me go home.

I thought I would have a job Monday, would get a reprimand, and would be allowed to make a formal policy. But the boss called me in and said: "I'm going to have to let you go. We'd keep you, but you're in a highly visible position, people here will know what you did, you'll know, and eventually you'll just go looking for another job in a few months, anyway. We'll give you good references to other employers."

So, that's that. I really don't think it's wrongful termination, since I admitted to my guilt. I'm appealing on the grounds that it was a one-time incident, that I had a good work record with them until then, and that their behavior led me to think I would only be reprimanded.