Battle of the Teen Titans - REALLY NEED ADVICE

DaXMan · 11-13-2003, 06:18 PM

This post is somewhat of an update of "Cold War 2" post since a big thing happened. (Cold War 2 post -www.enotalone.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13571 ) I tried talking to her a few days ago and she just came out at me. All I was doing was treating her, trying to be a friend and I told her she's a really cool person, but I now don't really "like" her anymore (she told me its a good idea not to) and she just came all-out on me. It was the cause to an online war. Even her and my best friends got into it. To make things short, I knew this was coming, so I wasn't mad (just played along and made her really really mad-it was fun after I discovered this wou;dn't work) and I feel she basically imploded herself in this one. I found out she may be hot, but she's not a great person. Sure, she's one of the most popular kids in our grade and has her friends, but she can't open up to everyone and must always have her way, not be challenged at all. Her friends trat her as if she's a God, but its not out of control. That may be why she hates me, because a "new me" is starting to tear her "popularity monopoly" away and it hurts her - badly.

Cold War 2 has become an all-out war, and this time around, I feel I can take her and win despite her years at "popular reign". (hey-Rome fell in 1454 too) I should be in rage over Iraq or something like that, but this time, she ignited it, so it will be her loss.

Thank you for having to hear me blabber all over the place and if u have any tips on how to win this war, please... THANK YOU.

Gaz · 11-13-2003, 06:24 PM

Just remember that war always has casualties and that it is our OWN fault that war is not settled amicably and without hurt. War is only good for showing of the size of your gun

11-13-2003, 07:16 PM

I agree. Becareful, because you don't want enemies. It may come back to haunt you further down the road, because that bridge may be burnt.

Oh, the metaphors.

DaXMan · 11-14-2003, 02:20 PM

This kinda came out of left field at the time. I though we got along fine until she told me that we can't really be "together" in any way, even in the same sentence. In the hall, I discovered she tries to distance herself from me sometimes too. I came in thinking we were cool since that's how she treated me in front of the eyes of many other people, but now I see how it is. I really didn't have a clue that she really hated me as a person.

Figure she's like that dog that loves almost everyone, but growls at you for no reason. (for some reason, she was never able to open up to me, even efore I "liked" her) What do you guys think I should do to avoid becoming "sworn enemies" with her? Thanks for the advice so far...

dfcannon · 11-14-2003, 11:25 PM

Instead of trying to figure out all the nuances of this saga (I did read your 1st post on Cold War II), I'll give you some thoughts to chew over. Any good military strategy ALWAYS involves some kind of objective. Without an objective, including a definition of victory and defeat, you are bound to be bogged down in a long, confusing struggle. Sounds like that's what you have here....

You need an objective, first. Do you simply want to "make peace" and otherwise ignore her? Do you want to "win" some high school status contest? Do you secretly want to be her friend? Boyfriend? For each objective, lay out all the pros and cons, risks and opportunities. You might, for fun, decide to read The Art of War, a famous book about military strategy.

Anyway, my assessment (on what bits of information I have) is that you are obsessing over her too much and that's only making things worse. So, the first thing to do is to stop caring and thinking about her so much. That will help in any of the objectives I laid out here. It's sorta strange that she suddenly decided to "attack" you. Maybe she sensed some kind of hostility from you under the surface? Bottom line, though, is that a high-stakes high school popularity war is something that girls do much better than guys do (because guys generally don't care about the emotional games), so play to your guy strengths. Build your own network of friends, date a rival girl, keep a friendly distance and let her look like the fool when she fights a war that you're not fighting (even though you still have your objective in mind, whatever that may be). This is a war of attrition, and you win it by outlasting her, exhausting her, and letting her make the mistakes.

That's my two cents' worth, anyway.

DaXMan · 11-16-2003, 09:53 PM

Using the advice from all of you and the strategy of dfcannon, we've reached something. I found the objective being to make peace and with a little help from my friend by getting me to talk to her, we hammered out yet another peace treaty. If this one doesn't work, its over, which means, as dfcannon said, trying to date a rivel girl or rally against her with a strong, close grooup of friends.

Our agreement was to have a clean slate and start all over again, like its Day 1. How do you guys feel about this as a result for a very shaky relationship with no real good part? Whas there anything else better I could have done?

P.S. I used a trick inspired by "My Wife and Kids" (Damon Wayan's character) to get the truth out of her.

11-13-2003, 06:18 PM	#1
DaXMan Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 734	Battle of the Teen Titans - REALLY NEED ADVICE This post is somewhat of an update of "Cold War 2" post since a big thing happened. (Cold War 2 post -www.enotalone.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13571 ) I tried talking to her a few days ago and she just came out at me. All I was doing was treating her, trying to be a friend and I told her she's a really cool person, but I now don't really "like" her anymore (she told me its a good idea not to) and she just came all-out on me. It was the cause to an online war. Even her and my best friends got into it. To make things short, I knew this was coming, so I wasn't mad (just played along and made her really really mad-it was fun after I discovered this wou;dn't work) and I feel she basically imploded herself in this one. I found out she may be hot, but she's not a great person. Sure, she's one of the most popular kids in our grade and has her friends, but she can't open up to everyone and must always have her way, not be challenged at all. Her friends trat her as if she's a God, but its not out of control. That may be why she hates me, because a "new me" is starting to tear her "popularity monopoly" away and it hurts her - badly. Cold War 2 has become an all-out war, and this time around, I feel I can take her and win despite her years at "popular reign". (hey-Rome fell in 1454 too) I should be in rage over Iraq or something like that, but this time, she ignited it, so it will be her loss. Thank you for having to hear me blabber all over the place and if u have any tips on how to win this war, please... THANK YOU.

11-13-2003, 06:24 PM	#2
Gaz Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bournemouth, UK Age: 29 Posts: 91	Just remember that war always has casualties and that it is our OWN fault that war is not settled amicably and without hurt. War is only good for showing of the size of your gun __________________ "Entering like a criminal, but Im no ordinary criminal, Im a dirty thought in a nice clean mind..."

11-14-2003, 02:20 PM	#4
DaXMan Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 734	W/ the advice This kinda came out of left field at the time. I though we got along fine until she told me that we can't really be "together" in any way, even in the same sentence. In the hall, I discovered she tries to distance herself from me sometimes too. I came in thinking we were cool since that's how she treated me in front of the eyes of many other people, but now I see how it is. I really didn't have a clue that she really hated me as a person. Figure she's like that dog that loves almost everyone, but growls at you for no reason. (for some reason, she was never able to open up to me, even efore I "liked" her) What do you guys think I should do to avoid becoming "sworn enemies" with her? Thanks for the advice so far...

11-14-2003, 11:25 PM	#5
dfcannon Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 189	Instead of trying to figure out all the nuances of this saga (I did read your 1st post on Cold War II), I'll give you some thoughts to chew over. Any good military strategy ALWAYS involves some kind of objective. Without an objective, including a definition of victory and defeat, you are bound to be bogged down in a long, confusing struggle. Sounds like that's what you have here.... You need an objective, first. Do you simply want to "make peace" and otherwise ignore her? Do you want to "win" some high school status contest? Do you secretly want to be her friend? Boyfriend? For each objective, lay out all the pros and cons, risks and opportunities. You might, for fun, decide to read The Art of War, a famous book about military strategy. Anyway, my assessment (on what bits of information I have) is that you are obsessing over her too much and that's only making things worse. So, the first thing to do is to stop caring and thinking about her so much. That will help in any of the objectives I laid out here. It's sorta strange that she suddenly decided to "attack" you. Maybe she sensed some kind of hostility from you under the surface? Bottom line, though, is that a high-stakes high school popularity war is something that girls do much better than guys do (because guys generally don't care about the emotional games), so play to your guy strengths. Build your own network of friends, date a rival girl, keep a friendly distance and let her look like the fool when she fights a war that you're not fighting (even though you still have your objective in mind, whatever that may be). This is a war of attrition, and you win it by outlasting her, exhausting her, and letting her make the mistakes. That's my two cents' worth, anyway. __________________ "Just tryin' to cope with this nutty world." :)

11-16-2003, 09:53 PM	#6
DaXMan Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 734	Genius Using the advice from all of you and the strategy of dfcannon, we've reached something. I found the objective being to make peace and with a little help from my friend by getting me to talk to her, we hammered out yet another peace treaty. If this one doesn't work, its over, which means, as dfcannon said, trying to date a rivel girl or rally against her with a strong, close grooup of friends. Our agreement was to have a clean slate and start all over again, like its Day 1. How do you guys feel about this as a result for a very shaky relationship with no real good part? Whas there anything else better I could have done? P.S. I used a trick inspired by "My Wife and Kids" (Damon Wayan's character) to get the truth out of her.

11-13-2003, 07:16 PM	#3
Guest Posts: n/a	I agree. Becareful, because you don't want enemies. It may come back to haunt you further down the road, because that bridge may be burnt. Oh, the metaphors.