family responbility VS. my independence

I'm facing a major dilemma in my life...

My father has been working out of state, leaving my mom, 11-yr old brother and me staying at the house we have in California. Naturally, I sort of became the father figure in the family. I'm obligated to take care my mom, brother, and most of the housework. My father provides the financial support, and he comes back and visit us every two months. My family has been in this situation for more than 3 yrs.

Well, I'm turning 21 this christmas and I've been thinking about moving out of the house and getting my own independence. I suggested that my dad should buy a house at the city he works and move the family with him. But obviously, my parents are not fond about my idea. They simply don't want to make the change at this point and expect me to stay home till I graduate from univeristy(which is another 2 yrs away). They offer to pay for my tuition and bills if I agree to stay home and take care of the family.

So here is my dilemma: Should obey my parents' wishes? Or should I go against their wills and be on my own? What do u think?

I think you should do whatever you want to do, your 20 years old, your not sixteen, if you feel you need and are prepared to take on these independent responsibilities, then go for it, just know what your getting into, theres more to being on your own than just money, you'll be alone, and won't have as much time as you do now, you should also think about whats best for yourself, if your parents are willing to pay your tuition, then, thats one less thing for you to worry about, in 2 years you can finish university and have your tuition payed, that ain't a bad deal, after that you can move out with a free mind, but if you feel now that you really have to take on these responsibilities, then go for it, do whats right for you, not whats right for everyone else..trust me

I agree completely.....if's YOUR life, and you've shouldered the burden admirably for a long time. But ultimately, whose responsibility is it to take care of your family? Your father's. He's the one that decided at some point in his life that he wanted a family, and what he did with that family afterwards was also on him, not on his CHILDREN. If it was a case of a parent being ill or something, I could see you staying.

But Simply was right in all the points he made.....financially, it'll be a struggle, since I doubt your parents will be willing to help you much if you move out on them and don't take up their offer of tuition. If school's important to you, then you either have to bust your butt at a job AND school, or take them up on their offer of staying home/getting your schooling paid. If you're prepared to struggle with money (and you WILL struggle, I can promise you that!) and can deal with coming home to an empty apartment after working/going to school, then go for it! It's YOUR life, and your happiness, your direction. You're a big boy, you're certainly capable of making your own decisions about your life at this point!