I am 29, have been married almost 10 years and have three children 5-8.
My husband works an 1 hour and a half from where we live and works 14-18 hour days not including driving. I NEVER see him and he is never around to help me with the kids. I feel like a single mom with no perks and no time off. He has said that if we move closer to his work that it would be better but I just know it won't be. He would still work really long hours he just wouldn't have the drive. Even if I take away driving time he is still gone before the kids get up and nothome until right before bed or after. If I move I won't have the support system that I have set up here because I cant seem to do it alone. He didn't have this job when we got married and has refused to try and find a job closer to us.
When he is home he expects me to do whatever he wants and to be with him all the time.
I don't know if I love him. I don't know if I ever truly loved hm. We married really young and kind of ran away together. I remember having serious doubts the day of the wedding but I had just found out I was pregnent and chalked it up to nerves. Every time I started feeling Unhappy in our marriage we would have another baby.
When I talk to my husband he says that I won't ever leave him and that i couldn't make it without him because I have been a stay home mom for 9 years and don't have a college degree.
My parents say that he is controlling and that i shouldn't move because he has never helped with the kids and they don't think he would start if I did. They feel that the kids and I would be miserable.
I don't htink he even realizes that I am thinking of leaving him. I do think he loves me in his own way I just don't think the kids and I are his top priority. Or at least spending time with us is not his top priority. I have told him that I am unhappy and wish he wouldn't work so much. That we don't need the money. but he says that he has to work this many hours to get farther up in the company. Well his manager who has been there 15 years STILL works 80 hour weeks.
I just don't know what to do. I feel like I should stay because I agreed to marry him and Have three kids with him but I am so tired and I am just so unhappy and feel like I am in a little box with no way out.