My boyfriend doesn't want to get a job

[Sweetie-Pie]

I have been dating my boyfriend for over four years. When we first met he was working but about two years into the relationship he decided he wanted to take a break from work so he quit. For the last two years he hasn't had much desire to find a job or do anything. We were talking about getting married a while ago and he knows that I would like to get married but without an income it is difficult to save up for a wedding. My boyfriend is visually impaired and finds it difficult to find work. I make good money at my work but I don't feel very good about supporting someone who doesn't really try to get ahead. I have confronted him and tried to encourage him to find work or do something but he doesn't seem very motivated to do so. I am getting frustrated and annoyed but I still love him. Does anyone have suggestions as to what i should do or what I can do to motivate him?

Thanks!

[KnowinMaSelf]

well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

[KnowinMaSelf]

well..bout tat? Well..i was thinking.. ask him why can't he find a job..ask him if he is happy..let him know how you feel...and let him understand at the same time. Try to put him in your shoes. Well..maybe he just needs to spend time with you..or maybe that his still trying to find out what is he REALLY doing here on earth..maybe his waiting for the good things in life. Try giving him a dream..like..a dream of being in the future..show him that theres alot of things to be dreaming about. How he can be a great father..or a great husband to you. It ain't easy...but..lets just see if it could help. Sorry if i ain't much of a help..but i hope it could let you know somethings to do with the problem.

[Mar]

I can't stand freeloaders, most people can't. 2 years is a hell of a long time to take a "break" from work. I'd seriously be questioning his reasons for not working, or even attempting to find a job. My fiance was out of work for a large part of the 2+ years we've been together, and it bugged the hell out of me thinking he was using me. But the economy sucks around here,and he DID just get a job, and was looking in the meantime. Don't sacrifice YOUR money for him, there's no excuse why he can't find a job somewhere, visually-impaired or not. A relationship is about 2 people combining their efforts in ALL ways, emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.

[Sweetie-Pie]

Thank you Mar and KnowinMaSelf for your advice.

I have tried to give him some dreams to motivate him like getting married and being a good father, etc. I think he feels that I am pressuring him instead of motivating him. In a way I do think he is questioning why is here on earth and what his purpose is. It is difficult for me to see him in such pain. He really has no real direction in life.

He knows how I feel about him not working and trying. I am trying not to help him financially so that he will go out and earn money himself but sometimes I like going out so I end up paying for things cuz I can afford it. I am not sure if he is taking advantage of the fact that I work or not. I want to feel like I am being taken care of too! He is very caring and loving but is that enough?