This has been the most stressful week of my life... one of those weeks where neither cigarettes nor chocolate can possibly save me. It started off with my vagina being sad. She just wasn't being herself. And then the sores started... and the painful, painful urination. I started feeling completely sick all over. I discussed this with my boyfriend (of 3 years now). He, too, had developed itchy spots all over his groin area. It seemed that we had gotten an STD, but how, we didn't know! We decided to go to a free county health clinic at the end of the week, when we both had time to go together. Then, the day before our appointment, I was in unbelieveable pain, and cried as he held me... and then he told me: earlier in the month he had slept with another woman. I truly wanted to die... and still do. I went to my own doctor, without him. She tested me for every STD, and she informed me that this was probably herpes. Herpes! Oh God, how can I live with this?! The probing, the testing, the horribly news, and now the long wait for the results... it's all killing me. I live with my boyfriend, so he is still around... I basically didn't kick him out because I feel so alone -- there is no one else in the world I can talk to about this! He tells me how guilty and sorry he feels... but then tells me how much he loves me... obviously I don't believe that, but I'm afraid that if I send him away too quickly, the loneliness will be even worse. I feel so much shame, and so much anger... I am in an incredible amount of pain, and I feel like it's not even my fault. I pray every minute that whatever I have is cureable, then I imagine making my boyfriend pay for all my medical bills, then dumping his ass in a most insensitive way once I fully recover. But then, what if it is herpes? What if I have an incurable disease? How will anyone want to be with me if I am diseased?! I am physically and emotionally drained, and just want to die. I don't know what advice I'm looking for exactly... maybe there's someone out there with a similar story? Someone who can make me feel better and less alone? If you're out there, please help.