self confessed commitment problems

I'm seriously confused about the situation I am in at the moment. Im 24, he is 27, I have a 1 year old child. We met 5 months ago and were inseperable for most of that time.

He had a bad relationship in the past, and is less experienced dating than me. I have been engaged and married and divorced.

When we met neither one of us wanted a relationship, I was not his sort of girl, had a bad past that he didn't think he could get over.

We hung out all the time, had the best fun, talked a lot etc and have the best sex in the world

I accepted we were bed buddies who also were mates and although I was upset I was just ok with the situation. Then he told me he was over my past and loved me and could see us together, we should take our time and see how things go.

I freaked out and told him I was worried I would lose him and wanted him to be my boyfriend, we talked a lot and I got quite distressed, he has backed off a lot now, things are quite strange between us.

He tells me there is chemistry there and that he never intended to use me, but he isn't sure he is ready to start something new, Im not so sure they arent just excuses.

He really is different from other guys, I am mad about him, I love him so much, I don't want to pressure him and will do what I can to show him that but it's driving me crazy, Im not sure I can control my emotions.

This is what he told me: Part of me says to me that you are a great catch and I shouldn't let you slip through but another part of me says well am I really ready to throw away my freedom yet. I am not sure if I just wanna see the one girl for the rest of my life. I can understand why you are ready to settle down because you have been with plenty of boys and you have probably done everything you would like to do as far as they go. As for me, you already know that I have been a late starter on the dating scene and I'm not sure if I have experienced everything I would like to experience with girls yet. I have only had a hanful of partners. It is difficult to know what you want in a partner if you havn't got much to go on. He says he knows continuing sleeping with me without a real commitment isnt fair on me but he doesnt want to stop seeing me.

I want this guy, I have thought long and hard and I want him. I know it is unlikley he will meet anyone else like me, and I know I am a lot of the things he wants.

I am stressing so badly about this, I can't eat, I broke his trust by starting smoking again (which I have quit), I cry at the littlest things.

I really need some advice on what I can do.

He says his next relationship is a trial for marraige, he takes being bf/gf very seriously.

Interesting for once to hear a girl being so desperate! Maybe he's playing a game with you. Be up front and honest with him and tell him what's on your mind.

That there in itself is my greatest flaw - I hold back, not wanting women to know I am serious - and then it's usually too late. Don't hold back, this is the greatest lesson - tell him you love him and you want a relationship with him.

I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time.

Believe me its hard to find the person to hang out with as well as have great sex!

I think your man definitely has esteem problems if he feels he has to sleep with lots of other woman to 'find himself' or even 'her'.

People dont have to sleep with several people to find that special someone.

Sometimes 'I don't know' means no (at the moment).

You seem to have a lot to offer each other, but remember that good things are good to you.

Take care of yourself, and be patient.

If its meant to work out - you will find a way.

Interesting for once to hear a girl being so desperate! Maybe he's playing a game with you. Be up front and honest with him and tell him what's on your mind.

 

That there in itself is my greatest flaw - I hold back, not wanting women to know I am serious - and then it's usually too late. Don't hold back, this is the greatest lesson - tell him you love him and you want a relationship with him.

OMG Do I sound desperate lol. He knows what I want. I am open with him, he knows all this. I appreciate his honesty. I just wish I knew how to control my emotions and actions especially if he sees other people. He doesnt intend to see anyone else, he just wants to know if he is missing anything. I would be prepared to let him have a couple of relationships because I know we are very suited in regards to values and personalities. I want to give him this time to be sure, I just don't know how to play it cool in the meantime, especially since we are still hanging out all the time and sleeping together

Thanks for the replies so far though Sometimes another point of view is just so helpful ..