Many problems going on... Need help please.

Security · 03-15-2003, 12:48 AM

Hello.

I've got a problem.
I'm going to warn you now, this message is very long. To anyone who reads it.... Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and reply with any ideas you may have.

See, there's this girl at school, and I've known her for... I guess about 8 years now (I'm in the 9th grade), and I really want to ask her out on a date or something but I just don't have the guts. I just know we'd be perfect for each other. I've never had a girlfriend, and she's never had a boyfriend. During this message, I'll call her Nancy, though that's not her real name.

What my problem is, I had the chance about 2 weeks ago to ask her to a school dance. Had a whole week and a half to ask her, but I didn't because I wasn't sure if my parents were even going to let me go to the dance. I ended up making up some story about forgetting about it, and telling them that my best friend was going to come pick me up and his mom would take us over there. It worked, and I got to go, but I never got to ask Nancy to the dance.

I got there and hung out with my friends for a while, and then Nancy walked in. Wow. I had felt a bit sick at my stomach all day, and the thought of me never getting to ask her out didn't make it any better. My friend was the only person in the world that knew how I felt about Nancy, so when she walked in, he talked me into going over there with him and talking to her. I went over, but hung over to the side, then after about a minute or so, kind of slipped in and said "hi" and she said hi back. He kept talking to her about something, and I just stood there looking at her. She was so beautiful. Anyway... I ended up looking at her for like 2 or 3 minutes then felt like I was going to throw up and ran into the bathroom and... you get the picture. My friend came in and asked what was up and I said told him about looking at her, then getting sick. "Dude. You really do love her don't you?" I said yes, and he went outside and a few other of my friends came in and I guess my friend had told them the story of how I liked Nancy and they started talking to me about their past experiences and how it wasn't all that hard to go up to her and ask her for a dance or something. I got mad for some reason and stormed outside of the gym where the dance was being held, and I just paced back and forth outside.

I wasn't out there more than 5 minutes until one of my other friends came out and I set down and talked with him for a while. He lit up a ciggerette and passed it to me. For the first time in my life I actually held a cigg in my hand and almost took a hit off it because of being so depressed, then something hit me. I don't know if it was the smoke from the cigg or if it was the will power to go talk to Nancy or what, but I threw down the cigg without it even touching my lips, then everything went back to depressing normal again. I got up and walked with my friend about 3 blocks away from the gym and he told me about his life and how much he wanted to kill him self and stuff. I thought my life sucked. Lol.

I walked back to the gym and set down on the bleachers inside and listened to the music. My friend, who brought me to the dance, came up to me and told me to go ask Nancy for a dance, and I didin't. Finally, about 2 hours into the dance, he asked one of his friends (a girl) to slow dance with me. That was fun, and after the song was over, I went back and set down. I noticed that Nancy had been setting down on the bleachers too the whole time of the dance. I really felt like getting up and asking her for a dance right then, but couldn't find the courage.

Well... Everything turned out like crap, she left, and I never said a thing to her except "hi.". Quite embarassing.

Anyway... Since then, I guess my secret I've been keeping for 2 years has gotten around and no one's making fun of me like I imagined. Some how the subject of boyfriends and girlfriends came up in one of my classes, and I heard someone talking about me liking Nancy and my teacher was like "Really?!? Why don't you ask her out? You two would make a very cute couple." Not sure what that meant, but I guess I should ask her out.

Since the dance, I've had about 5 perfect opportunities to ask her out. It's just... Everytime I get ready to say something, my life flashes before my eyes, and in like a split second, a movie plays in my head of me asking her out and her saying that something like "NO! I'd never go out with someone as ugly as you!" or something like that. I end up talking my self out of it.

Just the other day, I had a really nice talk with her. There's only like 10 people in my 6th hour class, and she sets to the right of me in that class (teacher assigned seat). I got done with my assignment, so at my desk (Keyboarding class... I was taking business in that class) was a computer, and I asked if I could play a game or something. The teacher said yes, so I opened the my documents folder and found a picture of a snowman that some little kid had drawn. I edited it and made the snowman holding a sign that said something like "Eminem sucks". Even though I actually like Eminem's music, I knew Nancy didn't, so I figured it'd be a good conversational starter. One of my friends sets in front of her, so I tilted my monitor and showed him what I drew and he laughed really hard and so did I. I looked over at Nancy and she was smiling, but not laughing and then asked "is that how you spell eminem?". I said yes, and she started talking about how much she had heard about him and stuff, and we had a nice little 5 or 10 minute conversation.

Anyway... I got home and found my one and only Eminem cd. I never listened to it, so I figured I'd give it to Nancy as a gift. I put it in a jewel case and took it to school. First thing I said when i walked in was "Brought you something." I handed it to her and she immediately grabbed it and said "What is it?". I told her to open it, and she opened it and asked me what it was again. I told her that it was my only Eminem cd and that I wanted her to have it because she seemed so interested in him yesterday. She laughed and so did I and she said that she didnt' want the cd and gave it back. This was kind of depressing for me because I was hoping she'd keep it... Something to remind her of me if she likes me.

So here's my main question...
I'm almost sure she likes me. She does some of the things she'd do if she did like me, like when she sets across from me in business class, she crosses her leg and points her knee and foot towards me almost all the time no matter how she sets. I remember reading somewhere that meant that she was interested, but too nervous to say or do anything.
I really want to go out with her, and I think she'd say yes, but I think I should ask her when no one else is around so she won't feel offended or embarassed or anything. I only get these chances once or twice a week if that, and every time, I blow it. I'm afraid of rejection I guess. I don't really think it's that though. It's something else. I just don't know what.
Could someone help me out here please?
Again... Thank you for reading my pitifully long post.

Security · 03-15-2003, 01:03 AM

One more thing I forgot to add...

My friend that helped me get to the dance; his dad came and took custody of him and he left abruptly with nothing but about a 5 minute notice. I haven't heard from him in about 2 weeks. Now, I think the girl that had a crush on him is comming on to me now, and I think she's kinda cute too, but not near as cute, and sweet, and... You get it. I don't like her as a gf. Just a friend.

I got to school a bit early the other day and that other girl was talking to me about how she's always tripping on acid and popping pills. Ugh. She finally left, and Nancy's friends came in and started talking to me about the other girl. Said that she slept with a lot of guys.. and girls. I said something like "Can you spell... [color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color]?" and they all laughed and then they started a little group talking about the other girl while I started working on the previous days homework.

Then, at lunch, I saw the other girl pointing at me and talking to one of her friends and then making a motion like she wanted me to come over there. I acted like I didn't notice it and went back to talking with my friends.

I think "the other girl" is starting to get the hots for me or something. Sure, she's alright as a friend. Kind of a crack head 24/7/365 the way she acts. Acts like she's always trippin on something. I'm not really interested in her because I feel that Nancy is the one.

I don't know... I just... I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her, and I haven't even been on a single date with her. Get what I'm saying? This isn't just one of those "One or two week, here today, gone tomorrow" deals. I love this girl. I guess that's why I'm so shy around her and don't have the guts to ask her out.

Pengui6668 · 03-22-2003, 10:30 AM

Alright.. first of all, thanks for the backround.. a lot of people post questions and give no background on the situation and it makes it very hard to offer any sort or specific advice..

Your best best is to get Nancy alone and talk to her.. You never said how good of friends you are, I'm assuming not too great since all you said at the dance was "hi". You need to get to know a lot about her and let her know a lot about you. Make sure you're always dressed nicely, not prepped out, but nice. make sure your hair's always at the very least combed, shoes aren't old and scuffy, etc. One day when she's alone after you get to know her let her know how you feel. Tell her you've had a crush on her for xx amount of time (Don't under any circumstances say "i've loved you for xx years" ever, don't ever say that). And then proceed to ask her out to the movies, maybe a bite to eat. Walk in the park, something. If she says yes, prepare yourself for a nice relationship, if she says no, you will be crushed, trust me, it happens to all of us...

About other girl.. is she in 9th grade as well? if so she needs to get some help now.. if she's tripping on acid and takin' ecstacy and [color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color] in 9th grade imagine her in college.. oh wait! she won't make it to college... Umm, I'd leave her alone if those things are true, some people like to lie about tripping and popping like they're cool things to do (i dunno, people do think that's cool though). But if she's cute and those things aren't true see what happens.. it's not often in life you get cute girls on you (well, not in my case anyway).

Good luck! keep us updated!

03-15-2003, 12:48 AM	#1
Security Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6	Many problems going on... Need help please. Hello. I've got a problem. I'm going to warn you now, this message is very long. To anyone who reads it.... Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and reply with any ideas you may have. See, there's this girl at school, and I've known her for... I guess about 8 years now (I'm in the 9th grade), and I really want to ask her out on a date or something but I just don't have the guts. I just know we'd be perfect for each other. I've never had a girlfriend, and she's never had a boyfriend. During this message, I'll call her Nancy, though that's not her real name. What my problem is, I had the chance about 2 weeks ago to ask her to a school dance. Had a whole week and a half to ask her, but I didn't because I wasn't sure if my parents were even going to let me go to the dance. I ended up making up some story about forgetting about it, and telling them that my best friend was going to come pick me up and his mom would take us over there. It worked, and I got to go, but I never got to ask Nancy to the dance. I got there and hung out with my friends for a while, and then Nancy walked in. Wow. I had felt a bit sick at my stomach all day, and the thought of me never getting to ask her out didn't make it any better. My friend was the only person in the world that knew how I felt about Nancy, so when she walked in, he talked me into going over there with him and talking to her. I went over, but hung over to the side, then after about a minute or so, kind of slipped in and said "hi" and she said hi back. He kept talking to her about something, and I just stood there looking at her. She was so beautiful. Anyway... I ended up looking at her for like 2 or 3 minutes then felt like I was going to throw up and ran into the bathroom and... you get the picture. My friend came in and asked what was up and I said told him about looking at her, then getting sick. "Dude. You really do love her don't you?" I said yes, and he went outside and a few other of my friends came in and I guess my friend had told them the story of how I liked Nancy and they started talking to me about their past experiences and how it wasn't all that hard to go up to her and ask her for a dance or something. I got mad for some reason and stormed outside of the gym where the dance was being held, and I just paced back and forth outside. I wasn't out there more than 5 minutes until one of my other friends came out and I set down and talked with him for a while. He lit up a ciggerette and passed it to me. For the first time in my life I actually held a cigg in my hand and almost took a hit off it because of being so depressed, then something hit me. I don't know if it was the smoke from the cigg or if it was the will power to go talk to Nancy or what, but I threw down the cigg without it even touching my lips, then everything went back to depressing normal again. I got up and walked with my friend about 3 blocks away from the gym and he told me about his life and how much he wanted to kill him self and stuff. I thought my life sucked. Lol. I walked back to the gym and set down on the bleachers inside and listened to the music. My friend, who brought me to the dance, came up to me and told me to go ask Nancy for a dance, and I didin't. Finally, about 2 hours into the dance, he asked one of his friends (a girl) to slow dance with me. That was fun, and after the song was over, I went back and set down. I noticed that Nancy had been setting down on the bleachers too the whole time of the dance. I really felt like getting up and asking her for a dance right then, but couldn't find the courage. Well... Everything turned out like crap, she left, and I never said a thing to her except "hi.". Quite embarassing. Anyway... Since then, I guess my secret I've been keeping for 2 years has gotten around and no one's making fun of me like I imagined. Some how the subject of boyfriends and girlfriends came up in one of my classes, and I heard someone talking about me liking Nancy and my teacher was like "Really?!? Why don't you ask her out? You two would make a very cute couple." Not sure what that meant, but I guess I should ask her out. Since the dance, I've had about 5 perfect opportunities to ask her out. It's just... Everytime I get ready to say something, my life flashes before my eyes, and in like a split second, a movie plays in my head of me asking her out and her saying that something like "NO! I'd never go out with someone as ugly as you!" or something like that. I end up talking my self out of it. Just the other day, I had a really nice talk with her. There's only like 10 people in my 6th hour class, and she sets to the right of me in that class (teacher assigned seat). I got done with my assignment, so at my desk (Keyboarding class... I was taking business in that class) was a computer, and I asked if I could play a game or something. The teacher said yes, so I opened the my documents folder and found a picture of a snowman that some little kid had drawn. I edited it and made the snowman holding a sign that said something like "Eminem sucks". Even though I actually like Eminem's music, I knew Nancy didn't, so I figured it'd be a good conversational starter. One of my friends sets in front of her, so I tilted my monitor and showed him what I drew and he laughed really hard and so did I. I looked over at Nancy and she was smiling, but not laughing and then asked "is that how you spell eminem?". I said yes, and she started talking about how much she had heard about him and stuff, and we had a nice little 5 or 10 minute conversation. Anyway... I got home and found my one and only Eminem cd. I never listened to it, so I figured I'd give it to Nancy as a gift. I put it in a jewel case and took it to school. First thing I said when i walked in was "Brought you something." I handed it to her and she immediately grabbed it and said "What is it?". I told her to open it, and she opened it and asked me what it was again. I told her that it was my only Eminem cd and that I wanted her to have it because she seemed so interested in him yesterday. She laughed and so did I and she said that she didnt' want the cd and gave it back. This was kind of depressing for me because I was hoping she'd keep it... Something to remind her of me if she likes me. So here's my main question... I'm almost sure she likes me. She does some of the things she'd do if she did like me, like when she sets across from me in business class, she crosses her leg and points her knee and foot towards me almost all the time no matter how she sets. I remember reading somewhere that meant that she was interested, but too nervous to say or do anything. I really want to go out with her, and I think she'd say yes, but I think I should ask her when no one else is around so she won't feel offended or embarassed or anything. I only get these chances once or twice a week if that, and every time, I blow it. I'm afraid of rejection I guess. I don't really think it's that though. It's something else. I just don't know what. Could someone help me out here please? Again... Thank you for reading my pitifully long post.

03-15-2003, 01:03 AM	#2
Security Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6	One more thing I forgot to add... My friend that helped me get to the dance; his dad came and took custody of him and he left abruptly with nothing but about a 5 minute notice. I haven't heard from him in about 2 weeks. Now, I think the girl that had a crush on him is comming on to me now, and I think she's kinda cute too, but not near as cute, and sweet, and... You get it. I don't like her as a gf. Just a friend. I got to school a bit early the other day and that other girl was talking to me about how she's always tripping on acid and popping pills. Ugh. She finally left, and Nancy's friends came in and started talking to me about the other girl. Said that she slept with a lot of guys.. and girls. I said something like "Can you spell... [color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color]?" and they all laughed and then they started a little group talking about the other girl while I started working on the previous days homework. Then, at lunch, I saw the other girl pointing at me and talking to one of her friends and then making a motion like she wanted me to come over there. I acted like I didn't notice it and went back to talking with my friends. I think "the other girl" is starting to get the hots for me or something. Sure, she's alright as a friend. Kind of a crack head 24/7/365 the way she acts. Acts like she's always trippin on something. I'm not really interested in her because I feel that Nancy is the one. I don't know... I just... I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with her, and I haven't even been on a single date with her. Get what I'm saying? This isn't just one of those "One or two week, here today, gone tomorrow" deals. I love this girl. I guess that's why I'm so shy around her and don't have the guts to ask her out.

03-22-2003, 10:30 AM	#3
Pengui6668 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 154	Alright.. first of all, thanks for the backround.. a lot of people post questions and give no background on the situation and it makes it very hard to offer any sort or specific advice.. Your best best is to get Nancy alone and talk to her.. You never said how good of friends you are, I'm assuming not too great since all you said at the dance was "hi". You need to get to know a lot about her and let her know a lot about you. Make sure you're always dressed nicely, not prepped out, but nice. make sure your hair's always at the very least combed, shoes aren't old and scuffy, etc. One day when she's alone after you get to know her let her know how you feel. Tell her you've had a crush on her for xx amount of time (Don't under any circumstances say "i've loved you for xx years" ever, don't ever say that). And then proceed to ask her out to the movies, maybe a bite to eat. Walk in the park, something. If she says yes, prepare yourself for a nice relationship, if she says no, you will be crushed, trust me, it happens to all of us... About other girl.. is she in 9th grade as well? if so she needs to get some help now.. if she's tripping on acid and takin' ecstacy and [color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color][color=#fa7777]* [/color] in 9th grade imagine her in college.. oh wait! she won't make it to college... Umm, I'd leave her alone if those things are true, some people like to lie about tripping and popping like they're cool things to do (i dunno, people do think that's cool though). But if she's cute and those things aren't true see what happens.. it's not often in life you get cute girls on you (well, not in my case anyway). Good luck! keep us updated!