is it something about me or am i paranoid?

Jerry · 10-10-2002, 05:04 AM

My boyfriend and i have been very close now for about 2 years and i have recently moved in with him. Usually I tell him every single thought that pops into my head, he is without doubt my best friend. In the past he has found relationships difficult because he has a medical condition wereby his testosterone levels are abnormally high but he works a lot of it off in the gym 3 times a week
A few weeks ago i found his 'stash' of pornography, DVD's and computer files and it bothered me, maybe it wouldnt bother me so much if it was the odd cheeky picture or something but it seems to me to be a little more exesive than that. Is it really normal for all men to have this much in a 'supposedly' happy fullfilling relationship?
anyway i confronted him and we laughed it off, but i makes me angry really and im frustrated because i cant talk to him about it.
there have been other things too...
he filled out a quiz in a mens health mag about our relationship and he ticked the box which said that his sex life was unsatisfying. we have talked this through and it was seemingly resolved with him saying he just felt asthough his libido had been decreased at the time and that he didnt understand the question that the magazine was asking him properly. its playing on my mind, am i over reacting to these things? im so scared that his eyes are wandering all of the time and im so upset that i cant tell him, i love him so much and i dont want to put him in an embarressed position or anything.
When we were having sex the other day he just stopped and said he was too tired and went to sleep, this bothered me and i cried myself to sleep, this has happened on the odd occasion over the past few months (not often)
i dont know what to do or how to address this

sisterlynch · 03-11-2003, 09:27 PM

There are a lot of men that aren't satisfied, and if everytime you guys talk about it you giggle, that shows that you aren't being completely honest about it. It is hard for a guy to give up on an ok relationship when it has gotten stale. It is also hard to tell the girlfriend or wife that they are unhappy in bed. If that is the problem then it won't go away. If he cannot tell you what he wants, look at the type of pictures that he prefers and ask him, is that what you like, would you like to dress up sometime?

Do you do the same one or two moves every time you have sex? Reverse the roles, if he always starts then you start. Are the two of you affectionate like hugging and kissing a lot?

Show him somehow that you really like sex with him, tell him. Try different positions. Turn off the light and run away from him. Relationships always get tiresome at times, you do need to work on them sometimes.

10-10-2002, 05:04 AM	#1
Jerry Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1	is it something about me or am i paranoid? My boyfriend and i have been very close now for about 2 years and i have recently moved in with him. Usually I tell him every single thought that pops into my head, he is without doubt my best friend. In the past he has found relationships difficult because he has a medical condition wereby his testosterone levels are abnormally high but he works a lot of it off in the gym 3 times a week A few weeks ago i found his 'stash' of pornography, DVD's and computer files and it bothered me, maybe it wouldnt bother me so much if it was the odd cheeky picture or something but it seems to me to be a little more exesive than that. Is it really normal for all men to have this much in a 'supposedly' happy fullfilling relationship? anyway i confronted him and we laughed it off, but i makes me angry really and im frustrated because i cant talk to him about it. there have been other things too... he filled out a quiz in a mens health mag about our relationship and he ticked the box which said that his sex life was unsatisfying. we have talked this through and it was seemingly resolved with him saying he just felt asthough his libido had been decreased at the time and that he didnt understand the question that the magazine was asking him properly. its playing on my mind, am i over reacting to these things? im so scared that his eyes are wandering all of the time and im so upset that i cant tell him, i love him so much and i dont want to put him in an embarressed position or anything. When we were having sex the other day he just stopped and said he was too tired and went to sleep, this bothered me and i cried myself to sleep, this has happened on the odd occasion over the past few months (not often) i dont know what to do or how to address this

03-11-2003, 09:27 PM	#2
sisterlynch Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: NorCal Posts: 2,187	something is in his mind There are a lot of men that aren't satisfied, and if everytime you guys talk about it you giggle, that shows that you aren't being completely honest about it. It is hard for a guy to give up on an ok relationship when it has gotten stale. It is also hard to tell the girlfriend or wife that they are unhappy in bed. If that is the problem then it won't go away. If he cannot tell you what he wants, look at the type of pictures that he prefers and ask him, is that what you like, would you like to dress up sometime? Do you do the same one or two moves every time you have sex? Reverse the roles, if he always starts then you start. Are the two of you affectionate like hugging and kissing a lot? Show him somehow that you really like sex with him, tell him. Try different positions. Turn off the light and run away from him. Relationships always get tiresome at times, you do need to work on them sometimes. __________________ Prepare for tomorrow, not tomorrow, but today.