Time to move on ?

Well, i already posted my story in this forum, but i'll make a quick recap of my situation.

Me and my now ex-gf were together for 14 years, lived together for the past 4 years (but lived partially together for almost 10 years), and were now both in our 30's (i'm 32, she's 30).

We were engaged since Dec'13, and had plans on getting married this year or the next one, and have children the year after.

Marriage wasn't a priority to me, since in my mind we were "married" for a long time, and everybody else who knew us told the same - that we were more of a married couple than 90% the people they knew.

We loved each other very much, were best friends and partners, and our relationship was really great and loving for all those years. We never separated, we never had a break, we never even spent one day without talking to each other. Everyone - family, friends, etc - thought we were the most lovable and united couple they knew, the one who will last forever.

She broke up with me in March (we're almost 6 months broken up), and said she had lost feelings and thought we were just friends, not lovers anymore.

I asked to reconsider and give us another chance in the first days after the breakup, and since then never even touched the subject of the breakup in all our interactions, neither has she.

In these almost 6 months, we remained in LC, initiated by both, and we have been together personally 5 times.

In the last two months i stopped initiating contact with her, and every couple of weeks she texts me, everytime asking stuff about our dog (which stayed with me). The dog is just an excuse for her to reach out to me.

From friends, i know she is very down on herself, cries alot, asks if i'm seeing someone, doesnt like going out, and her family is worried about her, and that she doesn't have or even wants to meet someone else.

Two weeks ago we met for coffee - my initiative - and it was really great for the both of us. We were supposed to just have coffee, but end up having dinner together, and we were together for 4 hours, until 11:30 PM.

She is still the same person i love, she hasn't changed anything in her behaviour, and i could see she is very sad.

When we said goodbye, she told me we should meet again soon, and then said that she knows she doesn't have the right to ask me for anything.

She went on vacation the past weeks with her parents, and neither contacted the other.

In these 6 months i have really grown up as a man, and my professionally and phisically i really improved myself. I'm in a much better frame of mind than i was 6 months , 1 year ago.

Should i wait for her to come to terms with what she wants from her life, remain in LC with her, meet her when we have the chance, try to take things slow and rekindle what we had?

Should i let go of her, and really move on with my life?

Should i have a serious talk with her, ask her what she wants from me or what role she sees me in her future?

I love this woman, i really miss her, and the idea of not spending the rest of my life with her is heartbreaking.

But over ther past 6 months i know one thing: i WANT to spend the rest of my life with her , i dont NEED to spend the rest of my life with her in order to be happy and have a fullfilling life.

Any input? Thanks in advance

She broke up with you because she didn't feel romantic love for you. Just because she hasn't replaced you doesn't mean her feelings have changed since that statement.

It seems incongruous that you thought you guys had a loving relationship, and she thought you had a platonic relationship.

Agree with Mhowe.

I'd sit down, ask her if she wants to try again, and if the answer is no or I'm not sure, that's it. You cut contact and heal.

All this limited contact has you frozen in place. You aren't healing and you aren't trying to build a new life.

Sometimes no matter how badly we want something it just can't be.

So it's time to tell her it's a relationship or nothing and if it's nothing you have to remove yourself from her life to heal.

Right now, you're her emotional crutch..

We had a loving relationship from 13 years and some months. She loved me very much, in every way possible, and so did i.

Things only went downhill in the last three, four months prior to the breakup. She just disconnected from me, and i couldn't reverse that.

She had a serious health condition one year ago, and started taking some medication and seeing counselling.

And after that, she was never the same person anymore, and that's when things begun to go sour.

Then you had a great run --- longer than many marriages. But she checked out and doesn't appear to want to check back in.

Sadly, as much as we want to believe the relationship has been great and that it's only recently that things have gone south that's never really the case.

Most time, the dumper has been thinking about ending it for a long time before they pull the trigger.

Major life events often serve as a final trigger to get them to finally act.

When you have nothing to lose, you have nothing to lose by trying.

Well, it took me a while - almost six months - but i think finally i came to terms with the only thing i know for certain regarding all of this: she doesnt want to be with me. She knows she could with me if she wanted to, but she doesnt want that.

I want to talk/be with her every minute, every hour, every day. She contacts me twice a month to see if im alive or something like that.

The harsh truth for us who have been dumped ia that: forget the breadcrumbs, the what ifs. If they wanted to be with us, and they know that, they could. And they dont want it, even knowing we could meet someone and they could lose us forever.

So, i think its time for me to move on, live my life to the fullest, and eventually find someone who wants me and is willing to share a life with me as much as i do.

Thanks for all the suport in this forum, you have helped me a lot.

Best of luck to all.