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ingoing stress from old relationship


Lisaloo35

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I've posted here before following pressure from an ex to engage in a threesum and only being happy to see me if I agreed to this... Our history was a serious relationship in which I ended things and me "breaking his heart" after this we agreed on casual but there was a lot of emotion involved.. He dropped the threesum idea after spending a nite together and him recognising his feelings... Following this he went to visit his daughter in nz (7 months ago) he returned two weeks later and demanded to see me.. I said no at first as I had my kids and I knew in our initial relationship they had been close ( not their dad but we were gonna move in together) he came over, my daughter came downstairs and he walked out saying he wasnt over the past. He disappeared for days and I sent him a lot of messages as I was confused. He then met me and asked me to go to his bed. He then disappeared again and I was so confused. He then refused to see me for weeks and I am again cobfused and sent lots of messages. He then said sorry it's move on time as he wont be hounded into a relationship.

It was all seven months ago and I feel my life is falling apart. I can't settle. I wake up just wanting to go back to bed. I'm still so confused. I have just changed my job and I can't seem to feel happy. I feel I am making all the wrong choices with my career. He was my soulmate and I just wanna talk to him. I've stopped caring about myself altogether. I've had no closure on the relatiobship and I can't go on like this

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Listen, as long as you keep communications open with this man, the longer you will continue to live in a confused and unhealthy state. He's no good for and will only use you for his benefit. At this point, you need to stay strict no contact and allow your heart and head the healing time you need to finally admit and accept to yourself that this is over one and for all. When you finally get to the point where you are truly ok with it being over, you will suddenly start to see this as everyone around you probably does that this is not a solid relationship you could ever count on. There is very little value in focusing on this person, as a relationship with him is unlikely to ever become a love story you can be proud of.

 

A loss of relationship is very hard. Please do not make this any harder on yourself than it needs to be and stay away from him. Getting "closure" from him will be nothing more than words he hopes you are willing to hear without telling you the real truth.

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