What I feared most has happened

My girlfriend dumped me. Her excuse was "I want to work on my self and see who I am outside of a relationship" she is 18 and I'm 19 and we had been together for 10 months, needless to say it has destroyed me, torn me into bits, I couldn't stop crying and it as pathetic, I called her while I was crying and told her what did I do and she said "as cliche as it is, it's not you it's me" I was a broken man, it's been a week and she messaged me stuff like this. "I think I made a mistake". "Let's talk about this when I get back" she is in South Africa for a month btw. Should I do the know contact rule for 30 days and try to get her back when she comes, I love her so much......

People try to make things work If they want to be together. So long distance isn't really a big enough excuse. You love her, but also you deserve to be loved.There isn't anything wrong with trying to maintain a LDR, but honestly she's either playing games with you or just isn't into the relationship as much as you. You probably be best leaving before you get messed around any more.

Damn this is tough. I know if I were in your shoes I'd say YES let's talk about it when you get back and I'd welcome her back with open arms. But truthfully, you should take a solid 30 days (if not 90 days) to cool off... and then decide. And by 30 / 90 days, I mean NO CONTACT during that time. Jumping back in... is not healthy. Spoken from experience.

"Let's talk about this when I get back" she is in South Africa for a month btw..

Wait until she gets back in a month and then see where it goes. Also, wait for HER to make first contact after she gets back. The ball is in her court as to what she wants to do. NC until you hear from her.

How can I approach her and make my market value higher and show her that if she does this again she will never have a chance with me without sounding too intimidating or mean? I love her but I can't let her walk all over me like she always does

You don't approach her. You let her approach you. Unfortunately or fortunately. Just be NC. Stay strong.

I guess the big consideration for me would be whether I'd want to go back into a situation that would have me walking on eggshells waiting for her next whim to break up with me again. She's broken your trust in her, hasn't she?

I think you need time to get the rose colored glasses removed. She dumped you once. Get some healing time in and then decide if you really want to open yourself up again to someone who hurt you. I tried it once with a gal that dumped me and came back a year or so later and it was a disaster. I couldn't forget the pain she caused me and I had healed so i ended that pretty quickly.

Sounds like we're in the same boat. That boat tipped over now we're swimming, wondering if we should swim to the shore or wait on them or call them to come over and save us from drowning. So far, I'm just wading in the water not knowing what to do...it hurts, I know it does. Just for right now, try to be by yourself, and give it a day. Don't reply to her if she messages or calls. See what happens.

Swim yall swim after a while it won't be so difficult. OP you are 19, trust me when I say this will pass with time,

If it were me and I believed I wanted to get back together id let her know that I need time to think about things. That you can connect again when she gets back in a month. That gives you both time to think things through.

Thrasher, where does she go to school? I know it seems irrelevant, but maybe not. Also, do you know anything about her mother's relationship history?