Stalker-ex begging to be back in my life again

It took me a while to cut off my ex but it's been about 2 weeks or so that we haven't spoken. I blocked him on whatsapp and accross all social media platforms, and I added him to the reject list on my phone. There's no way I could block his texts without contacting my service provider so I didn't do that.

Last night he texted me, and this morning he has been begging for me to let him back in... "I am appealing to you with anything you havr left for me... for anything good I did for you... I can't go on not knowing how you are."

It breaks my heart (even more). What do I do?!! Any opinion would be nice x

contact your service provider to block his texts.

Depends on why you broke up with him, and whether you want him back or not.

If you don't, then you can install the Call Blocker app on your phone, it works for texts too.

Block his texts......don't let it break your heart, it's over and he is on his own and will have to deal with his own problems.

You need to focus on yourself now.

My opinion is that you are very cruel not to talk to him.

He's a human being and deserves to be treated with humanity.

Just think of the pain he is in.

Mr. Number is a great app for blocking texts, and you don't need your provider to assist you with that. If your ex is a stalker, don't engage, don't enable his behavior, and don't give them a false sense of hope by communicating back in any form.

The quote, "I am appealing to you with anything you havr left for me... for anything good I did for you... I can't go on not knowing how you are." I guarantee he's used that on every victim he can sink his teeth into.

A bit of humanity please

I'm sorry, but you left a door open by not blocking his text messages. At any rate, are you done, or are you on the fence?

A bit of humanity please

 

Safety should be her concern here. I don't know about you, but my last stalker boyfriend trapped me in my apartment building while carrying a gun in his fanny pack. Had to get a restraining order against him.

My opinion is that you are very cruel not to talk to him.

He's a human being and deserves to be treated with humanity.

Just think of the pain he is in.

Talking to desperate stalkers just encourages them. You need to cut it off instantly and stand your ground. No good comes from continuing communication

I'm sorry, but you left a door open by not blocking his text messages. At any rate, are you done, or are you on the fence?

It can only be donr through the service provider, and since my mum is the account holder I can't do that. So I did everything else thay I knew I could do...

Thanks for all your replies everyone!

Why can't you get your mom to do it?

yes it can, you get your mother's signature on a statement of her approval.

you could also simply tell him you'll report harassement to the police if he doesn't stop.

so the real question is, as someone said, why are you leaving a door opened?

I just read the other post about this guy. He's a stalker, as you say. Stalkers all seem to share a few common traits. One is that any sign is a good sign to them. This guy may know you blocked him on all of social media, but not blocking him on text could be to him a sign of, "There's still hope." Even if you were to reply coldly to him to leave him alone, he could see it as, "Oh, she still has strong feelings for me."

The other trait they share is selfishness. The text he sent was all about him. Any mention of you was basically an extension of him. He doesn't care for you and it sounds like he could actually be borderline dangerous.

The fact that there is one -- and only one -- with a dissenting opinion here should say something.

If you have AT&T, verizon, or Sprint, you can download a Google Play App. Mr. Number is free!

Either that, since you don't pay for your own phone, get a new number.

Why dismiss him as a "stalker" ?

He's sent some innocent messages that's all !

A bit of humanity please

Well, I read OP's earlier posts on this topic. So yes, about that humanity--I agree.

Her ex should have shown some humanity by not installing stalking software on her electronic devices and surveilling her. He should shown the OP some humanity by not pitching a fit every time she wanted to go out with friends. He should have shown her some humanity by not falsely accusing her of cheating for no other reason than that she went out with said friends. He should have shown the OP some humanity by letting her and he both have friends and lives separate and together. But he didn't.

Controlling, suspicious, spying on her--yes, I agree HE should have shown some humanity to her and tried talking issues out like she did. But he didn't. He did something that is borderline illegal with governments now examining whether they should pass laws, because people have been tracked and killed by stalkers using such devices. This is why the OP broke it off with him. And now he's begging for more chances to do what? Install more software to spy on the woman who didn't cheat on him, whose heart he actually broke with his own mistrust and stalking activities?

Where's the humanity in that? Perhaps he should accept that stalking behaviors are never acceptable--ever. Maybe it's time the guy grows a pair and learns to accept the consequences of his actions and if he can't be in a relationship without acting like an undercover FBI agent trying to catch a drug cartel in the act then maybe he shouldn't be in a relationship at all.

OP look you need to read up on stalking, who does it and why and how to handle someone exhibiting that behavior. You don't be "kind" you don't "reason" with them. You cut the line cleanly and you never speak to them again and if it gets scary you get law enforcement involved.

While I am actually someone who does think if someone acts guilty or acts like they're hiding something then yeah you should get to the bottom of it I absolutely, totally, completely draw the line at installing surveillance and tracking apps on someone's phone/computer/car/you name it. And accusing people of cheating before there is any reason to do so is always, ALWAYS a serious red flag in a relationship. Normal sane people do not do that until they are given good reason to do so. I looked at your earlier posts, no going out with friends is NOT a good reason.

You did right to end things with this guy, now keep them ended and if need be go to the police if he won't leave you alone. Don't take this as some "poor misunderstood" guy and if you need extra information read Gavin DeBecker's "The Gift of Fear" specifically the chapter "I was trying to let him down easy." I think you'll change your viewpoint after that. If this guy can't get why you broke up with him and that he did a terrible thing then that tells you right there what the guy's mental state is and it is not good.

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OP, you need to read this article. This is why what this guy did is alarming. And I'm guessing there were other red flags as well, but educate yourself. It's not a light thing he did.

It's almost as though the modern age has decided to create an entire narrative about "stalkers" and when people who have been hurt or rejected get in touch t with their ex they are put into that category.

It reminds me of the 17th century craze of witch hunting.

Better to treat people as individuals and to give them a chance.

Don't even talk to him whether it breaks your heart or not; of course its going to, at one point you had feelings for him and probably still do, but in a different way that you know you cannot form a relationship from. Taking his texts now is just going to encourage him to keep trying and the attempts are going to become more desperate with each try.

On a side note, your still feeling heartbroken for the guy who stalked you basically, I can't even get the girl who started ignoring for pushing to get her to hangout too much would show me some humanity.

It's almost as though the modern age has decided to create an entire narrative about "stalkers" and when people who have been hurt or rejected get in touch t with their ex they are put into that category.

It reminds me of the 17th century craze of witch hunting.

Better to treat people as individuals and to give them a chance.

In the same boat as you! Unfortunately past ages with less people and less ways to communicate and meet people made finding the 'one' a lot, uh simpler? Now theres crap like Tinder where people can get 5 phone numbers in a day and if, god forbid, someone shows too much interest, they are instantly judged as clingy and insecure, and who wants that right? Why date someone who cares about you when you can find someone who doesn't, but hey at least they aren't clingy!

...Michael777, are you a stalker?

You do realize that if a woman breaks up with you that you shouldn't go to her house with garbage bags, duct tape, and a shovel hoping you can otherwise convince her otherwise, right? No means "No!"

Rape, brutality, stalking, and murder are real things. It only takes one sociopath manipulate you, then kill you.

And if a girl calls you a stalker, or a weirdo, don't keep trying. She's not the right girl! Now if all girls you date are calling you a stalker or a weirdo, good chances are you are acting and behaving like a stalker or a weirdo.

My opinion is that you are very cruel not to talk to him.

He's a human being and deserves to be treated with humanity.

Just think of the pain he is in.

It's almost as though the modern age has decided to create an entire narrative about "stalkers" and when people who have been hurt or rejected get in touch t with their ex they are put into that category.

It reminds me of the 17th century craze of witch hunting.

Better to treat people as individuals and to give them a chance.

Stalking is a real and very dangerous activity. Many women have been murdered by stalkers. Encouraging them by trying to be nice is the worst thing you can do.

Michael777, you seem like a nice guy who's been burned. But you also seem to have a very unrealistic expectation of what relationships entail.

You advise people to stay together regardless of their feelings just because they've spent time in a relationship. You believe the phrase, "till death do us part" regardless of what's gone on.

It's a noble view, but one that doesn't stand the light of scrutiny.

Sometimes the best course of action is to leave a relationship. And sometimes the best and kindest thing to do, is to cut the other person out of your life.

That's the reality of love. It's not always forever.

You believe the phrase, "till death do us part" regardless of what's gone on.

And unfortunately with too many stalkers and abusive partners, both men and women, this can come true in a very not good way. We talk more about it now as a society, because it's a recognized problem.

Tattoobunnie I'm glad you're safe now. How frightening that must've been.

It's almost as though the modern age has decided to create an entire narrative about "stalkers" and when people who have been hurt or rejected get in touch t with their ex they are put into that category.

It reminds me of the 17th century craze of witch hunting.

Better to treat people as individuals and to give them a chance.