why .........

got back with girlfriend after me being dumped for 3 weeks.while I was dumped I contacted my ex and went on POF.i did something sweet (bought her a dress that she wanted that was sold out nr where she lives)she wanted to meet that same night but I refused and said I was off out with my mates.i said what about tom she agreed.but I met my ex that night she is a friend and we just had a pizza.so the nxt day my girlfriend came round and we were amazing together.but as she left my phone vibrated and it was a sales call.she said show me ur phone stupidly I agreed.but she went through my messages and saw that I saw my ex night b4.went off in rage I followed in my car and after 10 miles blocked her in and tried to explain she didn't listen and I stood in front of her car and got run over as I fell off bonnet.police came and I was arrested for public order.i feel so upset win myself that I have done this and cant contact her because of bail conditions.she was scared and now I wonder what I have done will ruin everything.love of my life she is......

cant sleep or eat.if phone was silent I would have been ok.if sales call didn't happen.if I hadn't contacted ex if I had told ex I had other plans.im soooooo depressed right now.

She thinks I'm a cheating lier and a crazy driver who stood in front of her car to block her.i have never even kissed anyone else even when broken up.ex was just a friend,why didn't I just cancel ex I am so stupid.spent a month trying to win girlfriend back and In one day screwed it up.she thinks I slept with old ex on sat then her on sun now and can't trust me.

You would have been ok if you didn't chase your girlfriend down with your car and blocked her on the road!

Forget about running into an ex of yours. That's entirely not the issue. I would say you need some serious help for having done what you did.

Get therapy for this. No one, especially your girlfriend, should be afraid of you. And trust me she is terrified. It's very scary if someone is chasing you like crazy in his car and then blocks you!!!

I will,in have never been charged with anything in my life b4 and I'm 44.it was cos I was scared of her leaving me again and I couldn't think.i want her still have I lost her for good this time.

There is no point going through the "what if's".. its happened and now your paying the consequences unfortunately.... What i dont understand though is why you felt the need to contact your ex?.. It seems to me that she is like your comfort blanket that you turn too when things go awry in your life.. and why did your girlfriend ask to check your phone?... Is she suspicious of you...? Is your ex an issue between you two.. or has she been before? You also dont say what the break up was about so its hard to pass comment. Theres no point in telling you how irrational it was to chase after your girlfriend and do what you did.. you already know and understand that....You also went straight onto POF .. all of these actions suggest to me that firstly you need to look at your own insecurities and the need to have attention from women... any women in your mind.. the ex... girls on POF!!!.... Of course maybe you were doing this for a distraction from the way you were feeling but surely you must know that it didnt make you feel any better... did it?... Now what to do regards your current girlfriend?.. Well i dont know if you have any way of contacting her but via fb messenger would be best as that way you can see if she has seen and read your message... I would start off by apologising for irrational behaviour and that it was fuelled by the worry and thought that she would think and believe you to have cheated on her when in fact it was a harmless chat and slice of pizza with your ex. Explain to her that if this an issue to be in touch with your ex then you will cut ties with her as she is far more important than any other... If needed show her this link... Then give her time with NC... If she wants you and is willing to forgive then she will contact you.. If she doesnt then you need to learn from this.. walk away and learn to love yourself before trying to love anyone else again.. hope this helps

Thank you for reply.it just killing me I scared her and put it into her mind I'm a cheat also.i did start seeing current girlfriend while still going out with said ex overlapped a week.ex is a comfort blanket when an old fiance cheated on me I was de devistated and she got me through.3 weeks dumped and I had to contact her I know it's stupid but my girlfriend was adamant it was over.so rather than mope I tried to get on wiv my life POF didn't help me atall (oh and she saw some messages on there from women I have just messed up BIG time.knowing messages were on phone why didn't I pull bloody battery out when she came round etc or turn it off.im kicking myself constantly and cant sleep eat etc.i just feel with the car thing and that she thinks that I had sex with ex 8 hrs b4 I met her is not helping much

Listen to me... before you met her you didnt know her.. so you didnt love her.. and so its fair to say that after her there will be another who you will love that you havent even met yet... Its so hard to see this when your mind is focused on the "for now".. but its a moral i live by when my heart gets broken... I read a thingy once about a man who was stuck in traffic cursing cause he was late for work.. the place where he worked was the twin towers.. hence he survived.. and he said that now whenever he is stuck in traffic or there is something else in his life that is aggravating and upsetting him he quite calmly thinks.. Im right where i need to be at this point in time. Everything happens for a reason... We dont know why or what for but it does. Hope this helps a bit and makes you feel calmer... as I know how it is to feel the way you are now xx

I could have changed so many little things to stop sequence of events from happening in 1st place.lots n lots of things (I should be happiest person in world right now)3hrs back together and she thinks I'm a lying cheating maniac.

Listen to yourself!!!! your STILL doing it and not listening to any of the advice being given!!... your still doing the "what ifs"... hows that going to change anything or help?.. Its not so firstly you need to stop doing this and running it round in your brain over and over and over again. concentrate on how to try and fix things and if they cant be fixed.. concentrate on how what happened here can be changed with any future relationships you may have

I know buffy.i do want her back yet again though.she had trust issues with me b4 but I had not even kissed another woman when with her or even on a break up and had issues with me trying to get through to her when she's angry and not talking (so I confounded both these issues within 3hr being back together).bail prevents me from any contact.i shouldn't have contacted ex so soon or gone on POF ooooops more what ifs.

thats a much more positive reply... now your beginning to see things from 'your' point of view too... yeay...

Any tips on what's gone on to win her back.bearing in mind her 2 issues with me b4 was trust and my irrational behaviour to her being angry

How long have u been with current girlfriend for btw?

17 months and broke up twice

Is she same age as you or younger

The thing is here you are dressing up a relationship that really wasn't as perfect a match as you thought ... for her to come storming back into your life and go through your phone when it is her who dumped you ..well that is a problem from where I am sitting . She invaded your privacy at an award winning level ..you reconciled and nothing had changed ..she came back to you as insecure and paranoid as when she left ... this was on a road to hell I am sorry to say from the start .

You , as you know have just given her justification for her looking ....but in reality , she dumped you , you joined POF and started to write to people , you are not the only one who gets dumped and then jumps straight back in places like POF to console yourself ..She gave up the right to your loyalty when she dumped you ..in essence you did nothing wrong because you where single . Even writing to the ex ..yeah , why the hell did you do it ..but again , I say , you where single when you did ..you didn't do anything wrong ...although under the surface contacting your ex and throwing yourself into POF wasn't a great move ..but the reality is ...you where single ..you can do what the hell you like . No body can dump a person then start causing a fuss because that person moved on .

both of you are destructive and impulsive and this break with no choice because of bail conditions will do you both good ..

I'm 44 she 39

It's over. I mean chasing her for 10 miles and boxing her in? Wow.

I know I was wrong I have taken on counselling starts next week.i know it's horrible and I scared her.i feel terrible for her.the fines won't bother me,her out of my life will be unbearable.

Any tips on what's gone on to win her back.bearing in mind her 2 issues with me b4 was trust and my irrational behaviour to her being angry

 

Seeing as these two issues are what happened last time you saw her....I don't think you have a shot at redemption.

it was the high of her coming back to her leaving again in 4hrs really hit me hard and I couldn't think straight.she just blanked me and left.its the most stupidist thing I have done and I just want her to realise she means world to me.we were so happy in that time back together she was happiest I ever seen her

I never cheated on her even in break up period.not even a peck on a cheek.unlike my Bro he has cheated at least 15 times as she knows of 3 and still forgives him lol

I have screwed up I know and I will pay fines.just wanna say sorry soooooo badly for the distress caused.

she would have to be crazy to give you another change. The fact you compromised her safety and were arrested for it...that is intense. Use this experience to mature and become a better person. Not many people in general will want a friendship with someone so erratic.