Ex contacted me about 5 weeks since break up. Not sure what to do.

25F here, and dated 25M. We had a fairly nasty breakup, stemming from what I realize were a lot of insecurities he had. He was quick to get jealous (hated when I would go out with friends without him - always checking in, etc.), judgmental (mostly of my friends saying he would "tolerate" them), and used details of my past against me (I have a history of recreational drug use, and I think it's important to be honest...right? I don't anymore and said I wouldn't as to not jeopardize our relationship).

He cut everything off very suddenly, and I wasn't about to stay around for emotional "Chutes and Ladders" with him, or have someone be nice with these nasty strings attached to their kindness. So, I told him I hoped that it was all worth it to make such a sharp and harsh decision, and didn't contact him. He defriended and blocked me on Facebook and that was that.

Well, it has been about five weeks, and I woke up to a text from him this morning. He sent it around 2am Sunday into Monday, which is somewhat normal (he is a medical resident). The message read: "I miss you. I went to the (our favorite singer) concert, was heartbreaking without you."

I am so pissed. I was moving along really great, and I just want to respond with "What do you want?" because I'm sure it's just a feel for attention. It really tugs at my heartstrings because he really made me realize my potential in my own life and career, and it was wonderful having that support from someone so fully. I would be willing but REALLY hesitant to give him another chance, pending he realized that what he said and did to me was very wrong, and that he put in work to his personality.

I realize that I'm probably going back and forth a lot. But, like I said: very frustrated. What's the best course of action? Address him, or just ignore? If you need more details please let me know.

His personality hasn't changed in 5 weeks. He just did something that reminded him of you.

You ignore it. And now block his number on your phone.

You need to write down all of the wrong things he said and did and take a good long hard look at that. And then ask yourself, "Do I want this times 10 for the rest of my life, if I go back to him?"

Jealous for no reason and being controlling are traits that do not disappear overnight. They are also red flags that much worse is on the way and they can be a clear indicator of future abuse. I'm not talking normal jealousy, where all but the most mellow of us would get upset--and you know what that is, because you have your standards for that and you clearly understand why and when and where jealousy is appropriate and it isn't from the sounds of it--but what you describe is him wanting to control you and basically cut you off from friends and so forth. And that's not normal. It is a warning.

At five weeks out he's hoping you've forgotten what made you break up and he's hoping he can suck you back in. But will he change? Maybe temporarily, but sooner or later you'll be going out with friends or will get a message and he'll flip out again. It's call the cycle of abuse and there is usually a honeymoon period before the controlling and jealousy and emotional/physical abuses start as well.

Block his number and move on. The guy may have had some good traits, but the bad you saw is him letting his true nature show through once he thought he "had" you. Do you really want to sign up for more of that, because unless he's in therapy for a good long while--like a year--that type of behavior only gets worse over time.

The only thing that I remotely thought of saying is "That concert was a few weeks ago now. I'm sure that the feeling, much like the one you got to text me, will eventually pass." Not worth it?

Not worth it. Don't open a dialogue.

The only thing that I remotely thought of saying is "That concert was a few weeks ago now. I'm sure that the feeling, much like the one you got to text me, will eventually pass." Not worth it?

Definitely not worth it. What do you gain from sending that message?

What works for me: I have taken to texting myself. I get satisfaction from the immediate and tactile elements of texting, and my guy and I texted a lot, so the act of texting to myself replicates that experience. It satisfies the urge and gets me past the moment.

. No one can change that fast and if you take him back it will not only stroke his ego he will always think you'll be there and take advantage. Keep no contact.

Block him.

He was probably liquored up and sent the text. 2am sounds about right. Ignore it and move on.

He was probably liquored up and sent the text. 2am sounds about right. Ignore it and move on.

He works in an environment that would keep him going at random hours, so we can't make that assumption. However, it IS true that he may have been low on sleep and a little off kilter.

Either way, who cares. He was a pain in the neck as a bf, and she hung in there when most would have left. Now that he is gone, she is glad to be rid of him. Let him sulk. It will pass for him just as it will for her.

He was probably liquored up and sent the text. 2am sounds about right. Ignore it and move on.

Yeah it's not a fair assumption. I would sometimes be up with him while he was on call until like 5am. I can usually tell with him if it's tipsy texting, but this seemed thought out. It was sent as two separate messages. It makes me think he was on call at the hospital.

Yeah it's not a fair assumption. I would sometimes be up with him while he was on call until like 5am. I can usually tell with him if it's tipsy texting, but this seemed thought out. It was sent as two separate messages. It makes me think he was on call at the hospital.

And maybe a little needy emotionally, while trying to nap in the nap room or dealing with odd sleep hours... think "That was a nice moment he had" for your own ego boost and keep moving.

Oh man I really am trying not to respond. I've back peddled to thinking about saying "I thought it was understood that we weren't on speaking terms from our last interaction." Just argh.

Then if it your understanding, don't speak. He texted...responding is opening a dialogue. Silence ends the monologue.

Oh man I really am trying not to respond. I've back peddled to thinking about saying "I thought it was understood that we weren't on speaking terms from our last interaction." Just argh.

Why would you bother, unless you are looking for an excuse to engage?

Can't think of any reason to send that comment.

My ex texted me for the first time in a month a couple weeks ago. I didn't respond.

She texted a couple days later, this time mentioning stuff like her daughter asking when they'll see me again, and how they still list me when they talk about their family, and how the young boy apparently thinks I'm his "other" dad (the bio one is deceased). All kind of nice to hear, but also transparent attempts to get me to re-enter their lives.

I didn't respond to those, either, mostly because I won't let myself take the bait. I certainly thought what I WOULD say, and found it helpful to just type a note on my phone instead of responding. I have no idea how things with the new guy are going, and I'm not about to put myself in a place to find out.

I would just ignore the text.

Oh man I really am trying not to respond. I've back peddled to thinking about saying "I thought it was understood that we weren't on speaking terms from our last interaction." Just argh.

Unless he's a moron, he will get the point if you don't respond. You sending ANY response all but ensures that you will get a response and then you'll be tempted to respond to THAT. As I said, I didn't respond to any of the texts my ex sent, but she acknowledged in the last set of texts that she figures she's not supposed to communicate with me. I haven't heard from her since. I probably will again at some point, but not for a while.

Not saying this guy will stop texting if you don't respond; silence on your end might make him a little panicky. But he will have to start sacrificing dignity by continually texting someone who isn't responding.

Then if it your understanding, don't speak. He texted...responding is opening a dialogue. Silence ends the monologue.

This.

There is nothing here for you.