Do you think his feelings will come back?

Hi everyone, I just joined this site and thought I could use a little advice for my situation, it'll be long so I apologize in advance.

My BF of 2 years and I had a great relationship. He is by far the best man I have dated. We connected on such a deep level, I thought I truly found my soul mate. When we first met in college, he wasn't my type at all, but after spending more time with him I was drawn to him in a way I can't explain. We started dating after a year long crush and like I said, it was amazing. I was his first serious GF and first love, he said he waited 21 years to meet a girl like me and knew we were gonna get married one day. We liked all the same things, had the same goals in life, loved each others families, everything was perfect. We were even planning to move in together next year and take that next step. We had been living at each others houses for so long it just felt right. I knew, and still feel like, he is the one. But then it all went downhill.

About a month and a bit ago we finished school. He graduated with his degree - I have a few years left - and honestly when he graduated school, I sensed something was off about him. He seemed distant, not all there. But things were still okay, he still said I love you and liked hanging out and texting so I thought it wasn't anything to worry about. Then his car broke down, he started getting stressed out about money and finding a "grown up" job, and he just didn't seem happy. He was also having issues with his own family and their money problems. I tried to help him by saying I could loan him money or I can help him look for jobs, but he just kept saying no it's okay. Things were fine again for a bit, or so I thought.

Two weeks ago tho, I called him and was talking and asked if there was anything bothering him, I sensed he was off again. He said no, but I told him to be honest. And he said he just doesn't "feel it" in our relationship anymore. He doesn't feel that spark, and feels like he can't be emotionally there for me right now. He says he felt like for awhile, and thought it would go away but didn't. He said he felt like he was leading me on in the relationship since he wasn't feeling it. So he said he thinks it would be best to break up. Obviously I was upset, telling him we could work on it and figure stuff out. But he said he can't be "that guy" in the relationship and wants to be on his own. I asked him if he still loves me and he said he does, but he doesn't feel like we're right for each other. When I asked why he randomly thought this, he said he didn't know why. So I feel like he's confused. I know he's under a lot of stress lately, and I know feelings can come and go. For awhile I didn't feel like he was right for me, but I stuck it out, and eventually my feelings came back. I honestly feel like we're suppsed to be together, as I've never felt this way about anyone, and he said the same about me.

I'm not sure if he is just confused, as I don't understand how you can go from loving someone one week to dumping them the next. When I asked if there's a possibility of getting back together, he said he doesn't wanna make promises, as he doesn't know how he'll feel in the future. He says of course it's possible, but for me not to wait, as he wants me to be happy. I told him I was happy with him and don't want anyone else. He said if those feelings were to come back, of course he would tell me, as he said our relationship was great, and he wants us to work out. But he thinks this is best for now. He just wants to focus on himself.

Then, a few days ago we swapped our stuff from each others house, and he was being so sweet and flirty. Yet he was crying and hugging me saying this was so hard. Then he kissed me multiple times, which confused me more. I don't think he honestly knows what he wants. And I'm not sure if I should have hope or not. Everyone I talked to says he'll change his mind, as they noticed how in love he was when they were around us before. I have to say I'm shocked about this whole thing, and would like a little insight. What do you guys think? I know he still cares about me, do you think after some time passes he'll change his mind? I'm doing NC for a bit to give him space. As I said it wasnt a bad break up, and he always said I was the best thing to happen to him. Help please!

Absolutely no one can predict what he will feel in the future. For now he has told you he isn't feeling it anymore and you should not put your life on hold. This scenario is very common, all the way up through the crying when he came to get his stuff, everyone being shocked because he loved you so much, etc. Try not to analyze his behavior because you'll never figure it out. Although it is extremely painful now in time you will feel better. Carry on with school and other activities and stay nc. It will get easier.

I know this is hard on you Shessofly is right, nobody on here can predict how he feels. If he's slowly declined in the relationship (which you noticed well before he told you he wasn't feeling it anymore) I hate to say it but he probably "let go" a while ago. Him crying means...yeah it is hard, but he's made that decision. The best thing you can do is try and heal. I know what it feels like...it's the worse feeling ever, but guess what...it gets better. I feel totally fine now after two experiences like yours. I feel like I would never go back now. Right now you really need to reach out to people who care about you like friends or family. There's always that "chance" he might reconsider, but what if he doesn't? There's stuff going on with him that is beyond the relationship he had with you, and he knows what he's doing. Otherwise he wouldn't just break it suddenly. He knows... you deserve a lot better. NC sucks..so do break ups...it's never easy, but it will make you a stronger person. For now I'd just not talk to him what-so-ever. Talking to him at all just makes it cling on, when it's not meant to. Hopefully he'll realize the error of his ways, but please for your own sake, let go of him. He's made his decision and as much as it hurts, you need to move on now. Hugs!

The guy is done with school and is facing money problems and a need to find work. He may find this too difficult to face with a GF as an audience.

I'd go strict No Contact and make it a goal to grieve, heal and surprise everyone, including myself, with my resiliency and ability to bounce back from this. I'd trust that if the two of you are a 'meant to be' deal, that this guy will pull himself up someday and recognize that.

In order for him to meet you on higher ground someday, you'll both need to get there on your own. I'd use that idea to get myself there. If he pursues you, you'll be in a far better place to decide whether you'll want him back, and if he doesn't then you'll be in a far better place to cultivate your future.

Head high.

Thanks so much everyone for your advice, I will definitely move forward, after all I have to accept that this relationship is over for now. This doesn't mean that things won't work out in the future, as you said you never know, but until then, I will continue to grieve this relationship being over, and move on. I plan to do no contact for a few months, and who knows what could happen, maybe I won't even want him back. I'll continue to update