Trouble moving on after 7 year relationship

Hi everyone..

I really need some advice as I'm not sure what to do. Please and thank you.

I'll try to keep this as short as possible.

Lived with my ex for about 4 years, had was with him for 7 years. In the last 1-2 years i got sick of him but i stayed to try and make it worth but i realised there was no spark or excitment or i wasn't even happy when he was around anymore. So I broke up with him about 8 months ago but tried again 5 months later and didn't end up working out. I moved out of my parets then he did. Done a lot since then. Got a new bf been dating him for about 2 months. I moved back home to parents and my ex now comes over as he owes mum money and we have agreed to be friends so we now talk.

Here's the problem: I now get very emotional after I see him and I can cry for hours. It really amazes me because it hasn't affected me since now when I see him and I really dont know why. I think maybe I could have tried to go to get help but I was so happy when I left and now I'm not. And now I have a new bf that I dont want to ruin things with And I was so quick to move on. I really thought he was my soulmate And everything. I dont know what to do. (

People are telling me to tell him not to see me anymore but its hard cutting someone out of your life who was apart of it for so long. I want to be friends but I'm so sad.

advice please xx

You sound really confused, I'm not sure you should even have a new boyfriend yet when you still have such strong emotions with this ex coming around. You spent many years with your ex and it sometimes takes many years to get over someone, I hope you didn't jump to this new person too fast after having remorse over your ex.

Anyway, that is life. Sometimes you have to completely cut people out of your life. That is the only way to move on and heal. Unfortunately being friends isn't something that most people can do with an ex-lover. I had to do it once with a girl I was very serious with, she turned out to be a closet lesbian. There was no hope after she came out she would want to be with me (a guy) so I had to cut her out of my life, which was very difficult. She wanted to remain friends but I just couldn't do that because it would be too hard on me. In the end I am glad I did cut her off because I don't think I would have ever recovered or been happy with that situation.

I think over time people can be friends. But it has to be a very long time when both parties are fully over their past romance and fully healed from the break up. I don't htink you are at the point where you can do that if he gets you crying that way.

Considering your history together, I think you need to cut all ties with him if you are serious about moving on with your life. Regarding his contact with your mother, well, I would make it clear that you don't want to see him and maybe if he owes her money or something he should cut her a check in mail instead of making visits in person. You don't owe him an explanation or friendship, he is an ex for a reason. Just move on with your life and tell him to get lost if you are serious about your new boyfriend.

You sound really confused, I'm not sure you should even have a new boyfriend yet when you still have such strong emotions with this ex coming around. You spent many years with your ex and it sometimes takes many years to get over someone, I hope you didn't jump to this new person too fast after having remorse over your ex.

This. You are not ready for an intimate relationship yet, and might end up hurting your current love interest. You need to be a lone for a long while to be comfortable with just yourself. Develop into a complete person before jumping into something you might regret.

Agreed with the above posts 100%.