My worst experience; The love of my life.

Hey all. I'm new to these forums and I guess I'm here because I had to get some things off my chest. I have a good fair few friends albeit but I've always been embarrassed to tell this story.. For almost a year i've kept these feelings boxed up.

I was 19 when I met her, she 18. I worked and inherited / expanded a business and she studied dentistry up north, about an hour and a half drive from me. We met through a mutual friend whilst she was back home from uni and quickly we got on like a house on fire and after that first sunny day, we spoke every day like best friends. Soon you went back to university and I was back to full time at work. working 12-8 every night I would drive the 90 minute journey to you most nights after work and we'd eat dinner together, watch TV or go to our favourite spot the beach

Pretty soon we were like a married couple, I was your man around the house and your efforts were incredible.. nipping away after studying to bring me food or help me... you met my parents, my sisters, almost became a fixture in my home and family life. Everyone loved you, I adored you, and what an excellent feeling when it was mutual.

We went through a lot of issues, from thirsty guys berading you to me constatnly being at work.. despite this we soldiered on, kept it together.. after about 2 years we argued a little more albeit but my loyalty to you never wavered. I did not feel trapped, I felt attached to you. Even when you drove me insane, and she did, petty little things, I never once thought about changing things..

One day after a cold night, you phoned and awoke me. As soon as I answered the phone I knew something bad was going to happen.. You told me, and this is for real, this is (after two years) the reason I got: "I had a dream, and I think I spoke to God.... we can't be together anymore"

I'll never forget hearing those words. Ever. First came the disbelief... "are you fu****g serious?!"

Then came me trying to talk you out of it.. But you were adamant, and you made it believeable. I got desperate, I cried, felt lost, almost even begged. This is when I noticed the change in you... you basically did not care and rubbed my nose in the fact you were going to a party with "boys from London" as if I was meant to be jealous... or they would be superior people due to their geographical location.. Before I could even mutter a response the phone went down. I felt torn apart.. I did not contact you back that night but I stayed up all night letting my imagination run free. Were you already over 2 years within 2 weeks? I'm lying here crying and you socialising and romansing? The pain was deep, but i changed a little that night.. No more did I need you. I loved you but I did not need you. We spoke here and there and everytime we did, or I seen her / smelt her the feelings came rushing back.

I could not handle this, being friends or being "maybes" I made a decision to move on.. Within 2 weeks I got a call from you.. crying, bawling, blubbering.. you had cancer and I was the first phone call you made. Your family had been going through a tough time and you did not want them to know.. you did not want my families pity. You made me promise and swear I would never tell anyone. I promised, I would be here for you and do what was required.

The next few weeks were blurry. last year I was peaking with my business', my love life with my lady was amazing and we were solid now and my finances and now I had been dumped by what I seen as my wife, only for her to return with cancer. I would go into the office at work, shut the door and break down.. several times a day. Cry in my sleep - I was a mess. But I could not show it to you, my love, I had to remain strong for you. I could not show pain at home - no one was to know.

a few months passed, you would barely speak to me. Saying you had to go hospital / rest / needed time to yourself.. I could not cope. I needed to be there for you.. Eventually my mum pulled me up (I'm 21 now btw) could tell I wasnt the same. I conceded what was going on and my mum also was very upset. She made the decision to go see my ex and help her. When she returned she just said you need to speak to her.. So when I phoned her up she cried and cried and told me she had lied all along about the cancer.. That after we broke up you struggled when I made a decision to try and rebuild my life and created this lie (even although she dumped me)

I was in awe. First I was angry, then sad, then angry... and angry again. I couldn't even look at her and when I spoke I gave brutally honest words. We would speak ocassionally over the case of a year, sometimes nicely I guess, mostly arguing about the past..

now I'm 22, a year has past and I'm recovering. You have moved to a uni 3 hours away and we barely speak. Have you moved on?? Are you happy? I don't know. When we do try and speak I get angry about the past, the betrayal and the lack of loyalty.. I go on holiday... You tell me you love me and need me. I laugh it off and say we will speak when I get home; when I do no conversation happens.

Its now been 18 months since God told you we had to break up and 14 months since you've had cancer.. and yesterday, after not speaking for months you turned up at my work.. You cried, you sobbed, you cuddled and you basically threw yourself at me - I did not cave.. I asked you to leave. As I watched you leaaving on the CCTV, I cried, the truth was I did miss you. I did crave you, and I havent felt the same since. I ran and followed you outside and told you to come back in and speak properly. As you tried to do 10 minutes ago, I tried to kiss you. You told me it wasn't the same now and you have to wait and see what you feel now.

So I made a decision today. I'm going to move on for good. No longer will you dictate my life and feelings. No longer will you be able to decide when we talk and when we're on. I Deserve better, and I will be happier than ever.

Good luck in the future,

all the best.

She's a piece of work!

Unbelievable and unforgivable. I lost my brother to cancer, and I think it is absolute evil to make up this type of story.

You need to realize that you can do so much better than this woman. I hope that you never have to deal with her again!

She's sick, that's unforgivable.

Believe me that was not the love of your life. Remain resolute in NC and let that one go. You're very young and believe it or not there's women out there that don't lie about cancer.