I'm confused and not really sure what's going on

I met this guy at this college we both attend. We talked for about an hour and I got his number. I'm 17. He's 21. It's legal in my state. I've done ALL the research. I told him how old I was before I got his number. A few weeks later I text him and he asked how old I was. I told him and then he said that is not okay for him to be texting me because I'm 17 and he's 21. I respected that, and I understood where he was coming from, so I didn't contact him again. A month later, I was on campus when he sees me sitting alone. He waves and goes out of his way and walks to where I am. He proceeds to have a 12 minute conversation. I was a bit confused by it because if I'm too young for you to be texting, aren't I too young for you to be talking to me like that? After you acknowledged my presence, there was no need for the extra conversation. A week or so after that he shows up at the library and we talk for another hour. The next week he shows up again, and we talked for another hour. I ran into me the next week and we talked for another hour. Two weeks later I was sitting in the library, but another guy had sat where he usually sits next to me. He walks in sees the guy, he comes to my side asks me what I was up to. He literally places himself between me and the guy while he talked to me. After that he left. We text occasionally, he shows up at the library consistently, and he'll flirt a little , but he hasn't made obvious moves. I'm trying to figure out what to do or if he's interested.

Sounds like he likes you but he is worried about the age thing, although to me this is strange because I live in the UK and there's nothing wrong or illegal about people of your ages dating, so I can't really see the problem. Just keep up the little 'bonding' sessions and soon enough you will more than likely be dating x

LOL, you said 12 min conversation. It just sounds like you timed the conversation to come up with the number 12. Most people would say about a 10 min conversation. But that's cool. You must be an "exact" type of a person. Nothing wrong with that.

Anyway, sounds like he's definitely interested in you. I don't know why he said you can't text him as a 17 yo. Maybe his thoughts were, 'If I fall for this girl, I'm gonna wanna have sex with her, but that's not permitted because that's statutory rape.' But I have a feeling he ruminated on his thoughts more, and realized that you will turn 18 within the next year, and by then if you are still getting along well, he may ask you out.

Just out of curiosity, did he happen to ask when your birthday is? Hmmmmm? :sentimental:

Yes, he did

Just out of curiosity, did he happen to ask when your birthday is? Hmmmmm?

Yes he did

Lol OP well there is your answer! He likes you but will probably only make a real move when you turn 18. 4 years is not that big an age gap when you're in your late teens/early 20's. I live in Australia and I *think* people of your ages having sex is illegal but I don't think anyone really cares and it's not really looked down upon. Like if it was a 31-year-old it might be more looked down on...Anyway, why don't you just take this time to get to know him as a friend? That will also help you build a relationship rather than jumping straight into sex.

Actually, I apologise, in the state I live in, the legal age of sexual consent is 16 and is completely legal if you have consensual sex with another person of sixteen years and older.

Everyone here in the US thinks that sex with someone under 18 is statutory rape, but that's actually not true in any state I know of. Every state has different laws, but in some states the age of consent is 16 or 17, and often there are exceptions for 15 yr olds to have sex with other 15 yr olds (for example) without it being illegal.

This guy probably thinks he needs to wait for you to turn 18 (maybe he's from CA or some other state where that's true). If you're sure your state has a lower age of consent, why not let him know it's not illegal but avoid (a) making him feel dumb and (b) implying you're ready to have sex with him. Maybe something like "My friend from CA was so nervous dating this 20 yr old girl because he's only 17 and in CA you have to be 18 to date. But it turns out here in you only have to be 17."

That should light the bulb in his head.

You do know that you can date and NOT have sex, right?

You do know that you can date and NOT have sex, right?

Yeah, I'm aware, and I don't plan on it, but most people assume. I think guys would still be more comfortable regardless if they knew that or. I personally would be, but any sexual activity (including kissing and some language) with someone underage is considered statutory rape...not that most people in that

The hesitation is that he (probably) feels essentially illicit to be flirting with a person under 18, no matter the age of consent or whether you're actually having sex with them.

You do know that you can date and NOT have sex, right?

Sure, but I think most romantic relationships in the US eventually involve sex, and it's a reasonable expectation to have. I would not date someone if I thought was off-limits... not because it's my only goal in a relationship, but because it's an important part of most relationships.

And going into a relationship thinking you won't have sex is often misguided. Abstinence pledges rarely work.... we are human animals and it's in our programming to have sex with each other. Hard to overcome that.