Found out ex is seeing other people :/

So I found out about an hour ago from a mutual friend of both myself and my ex that is currently on a date with a new girl. I have told this friend multiple times not to mention anything about my ex around me but he knows it hits a nerve with me so he brings my ex up literally every chance he gets and today he's told me this.

I'm not sure how I feel or how I should feel about my ex seeing other people. I want him to be happy because he was my first serious boyfriend and even though we weren't together long (only 3 months) I did really fall hard for him and it hurt like hell when he did break up with me. I have been seeing other people myself since we broke up so I'm not sure why him seeing other people is bothering me I don't want him back or anything like that, he hurt me really badly and I don't trust him enough to know he wouldn't do it again if we did get back together.

I've just had this weird feeling like an anxiety feeling in my stomach since finding out about him seeing another girl and I don't know if it's normal to feel that way or not? And if it is normal, then why is it an anxiety feeling of all feelings?

It's normal and yes its an uncomfortable feeling either way that someone has taken your place next to him

It's also inevitable and something we all go thru.

Just be kind to yourself and surrounded yourself with friends and support.

I remember when I broke up with my first wife that she remarried first because it was a way with competing against me. That's how it felt at the time. Chances are she probably never thought about me on the day.

I'm now with someone much better.

Why does this so-called "friend" enjoy hurting you?

it's normal. sucks, but it's normal.

Even though this last guy was a total jerk, it still makes me sick to my stomach that he's going out with other women. I guess I feel like I didn't matter to him, and that's what hurts. Or it's the nostalgia of what could have been. Or jealousy and thinking you were the best fit for him.

I'm not dating anyone. I have no desire to right now.

he knows it hits a nerve with me so he brings my ex up literally every chance he gets and today he's told me this.

Yeah, he's not much of a friend really. Maybe block him as well as your ex.

What you do every time this so-called frenemy comes around is yawn and tell him, "That old topic again? Seriously you have got to get some new material. By the way, I went out with the hottest guy last week. Oh man, let me tell you about that."

In short, take the wind out of his sails, don't let him see it bother you, use it as an excuse to monopolize the conversation every chance you get. He'll stop talking to you or maybe even run away when he realizes there's no sport to be had in hurting you. Worse, you expect him to listen to you for a change. And the fact is, he may not be telling the truth about the ex either. Who knows, but pull this guy's claws fast if you are going to insist on talking to him by doing the tactics I've given you here.

He'll find another game soon enough. And you will get over the feelings of hearing your ex is dating someone else. You both are moving on and that's normal and so is sometimes a bit of looking back before you step forward again. You'll be okay.

I would stop talking to this 'friend' as he doesn't have your best interest at heart.

How much does it hurt. ...try being with some 3 years only to find out your replaced within months

Thanks so much everyone for your replies, I'm glad to hear everything I'm feeling is relatively normal anyway

In regards my friend, him and my ex were (and still are) in constant competition with each other in things like girls and strength and stupid boy stuff like that. Both of them, about 6 months back, liked me and were in competition with each other over me and in the end my ex got me so I guess you could say my friend has been a bitter about that so that's why he's winding me up I guess He does the exact same thing to my ex and he gets really annoyed and upset over it too. I guess that's just the way my friend is, I really don't know.

Not to beat a dead horse, but your friend is really no fiend. I'd stop all contact with him and start the healing process from the break-up.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your relationship with your ex? Are you guys friends or on speaking terms? Maybe that has something to do with how you're feeling.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your relationship with your ex? Are you guys friends or on speaking terms? Maybe that has something to do with how you're feeling.

It's no problem at all We are still 'friends' I guess, only because when he broke up with me he said he still wanted to be friends. He also lives with my best friend so I see him and have to speak to him on a weekly basis. If I had my way, I'd completely cut off contact with him altogether because I feel a lot happier when I go days without seeing him but right now it's just not possible.

How much does it hurt. ...try being with some 3 years only to find out your replaced within months

OR try being married and find that your spouse was lining up a replacement and having sex BEFORE the split.

OR try being married and find that your spouse was lining up a replacement and having sex BEFORE the split.

Thats farked

OR try being married and find that your spouse was lining up a replacement and having sex BEFORE the split.

BTDT

Everyone moves on in his or her own way. It has no bearing on you and doesn't change the fact that it wasn't working.

BTDT

Everyone moves on in his or her own way. It has no bearing on you and doesn't change the fact that it wasn't working.

Clearly the relationship wasn't working, but cheating in unacceptable. The betrayal and lies causes more pain to the wrongs spouse/partner. It causes a wound that is slow to heal and may be brought into future relationships in the form of baggage or insecurity.

it's normal. sucks, but it's normal.

Even though this last guy was a total jerk, it still makes me sick to my stomach that he's going out with other women. I guess I feel like I didn't matter to him, and that's what hurts. Or it's the nostalgia of what could have been. Or jealousy and thinking you were the best fit for him.

 

I'm not dating anyone. I have no desire to right now.

I'm in the same boat. I just found out that my ex is seeing someone and its like an aching in my stomach. We've been separated for three months and I can't believe he moved on so fast and didn't morn the fact that I'm not around anymore. In my heart I still believe we could have been great and it hurts to think that maybe this girl is better for him than I was

Clearly the relationship wasn't working, but cheating in unacceptable. The betrayal and lies causes more pain to the wrongs spouse/partner. It causes a wound that is slow to heal and may be brought into future relationships in the form of baggage or insecurity.

The ironic thing is that it was working for me! OK, we had the odd row and there were times I felt her being distant but then I've felt like that since and it hasn't led to a break-up. The issue was that it wasn't working for her. Perhaps I would have spared myself some pain by just letting go but I really, really believed that marriage was supposed to be for life!

The ironic thing is that it was working for me! OK, we had the odd row and there were times I felt her being distant but then I've felt like that since and it hasn't led to a break-up. The issue was that it wasn't working for her. Perhaps I would have spared myself some pain by just letting go but I really, really believed that marriage was supposed to be for life!

Yes, I DID carry baggage and insecurity into my life since.

Mod Note: Please stay on topic.

What you are feeling is very normal. I was married for 10 yrs and replaced in 2 weeks. Just know you are healing in a healthy way and they are trying to find a quick fix.