Not sure how to act

Hey,

Me and my boyfriend broke up about 5 months ago. When we first broke up, a few days later I asked him if he wanted to go see a movie and he said yes, so we made plans to see one. But then we stopped talking, and so we didn't end up going. I regret this a lot, but at the time I figured since we hadn't been speaking, I should try and keep it going so we can clear our heads more.

We started speaking again, bit by bit, it was nothing great, I missed him a lot but it was all just small chit chat and I wasn't trying to come on strong or anything.

After I realised I couldn't continue this way, I took up the 30 day no contact rule, and I successfully made it through all 30 days! It wasn't even too difficult. Sure I wanted to talk to him, but I knew it was for the best, for both of us. I was a little sad that he didn't try to contact me, but at the same time, knowing the type of person he is, it's not unusual at all. He is really laidback and will take life one day at a time and not think too much into anything.

So I decided to contact him after that, mostly just wanted to wait until I was really clear headed and happy without him before talking to him. Happy - but obviously missing a friend, since we were friends for 3 years, then had a 3 year relationship.

Contacting him went well, we had a really nice conversation, I tried to keep it really light and interesting, I didn't talk about myself much or anything. I mean, I sent him a picture of my cosplay (nerd talk for dressing up as anime or game characters, I'm 20 years old by the way haha), and he said it was cool, and we started talking about games and general news etc. He seemed happy to be talking to me, happier than I could have hoped for. And I very nervously asked him if he wanted to play a new game with me, sometime in the near future, and he said yeah, and seemed pretty happy/a bit surprised I asked. When the conversation ended shortly after, that was it. I didn't contact him today (this happened yesterday) because I didn't want to seem too eager. And honestly, I absolutely do not want to force conversation anyway. But I would like some advice on where to take it from here? I'm not saying I need to be with him romantically, that's not even my intention, but it is very important to me that we get to a good place, because I care about him a lot and his friendship does mean a lot to me. I don't want to get nervous and blabber on at him, boring him at some point, but I also don't want to be overly cautious - by not contacting him for too long, after the good response that I initially got. What should I do? Hopefully working up to meeting up with him at some point before May 31st (when I go on holiday for 2 weeks), but it will take a fair bit of talking and Skype chatting whilst playing games to get used to each other again. How should I go about this?

P.S. I think this is worthwhile mentioning. My ex has me on Snapchat, and I know he never uses it - he isn't really into social media trends he doesn't even own facebook. He only ever used Snapchat to look at my stuff. When we broke up he stopped, and he was never online on it. Months went by without him going on it. Then the very day that I contacted him (yesterday, after all that time), he went on it to look at what I was up to. What do you think about that? He actually checked again tonight, even though I didn't contact him today. He knows that it's a place where I regularly update about my life with pictures.

Thank you for taking the time to read this

Welcome,

Was this a mutual break? You don't have to give specific details, but knowing who ended the relationship, and on good/bad terms, is usually helpful when seeking advice. As for friendship, are you ok with him moving on with another woman and talking about her while you're just a friend? Is he ok with you dating other people? If yes, then you can be friends. If no, friendship will be painful for one of you and it's best to go your separate ways for now.

As for how often to talk with him, I'd say just act natural and do it whenever you want and have the time. Frequency of communication between people varies pretty widely; I know people who do 1-5 texts an hour/day/week. You're turning the communication between you two into a silly game of appearing interested without seeming too intense. It makes me think you do want him back on some level, but maybe I'm misreading.

Cheers

If it seems that way, it's because I do want him to be interested as a friend also! It is just ideal

As for the break up... I guess we were in a heated argument about something really dumb, he said "let's break up then" - I actually don't think he genuinely meant it, but rather that he thought it would stop the argument by being extreme. Me in my frustrated state said "let's"... And that was basically it. It wasn't too serious, fairly mutual, we spoke pretty good afterwards it was just too difficult to maintain. We never really fell out, and he confirmed he didn't hate me or anything very soon after.

About him dating... I think I would be a bit shocked if he dated any time soon since he very rarely talks to females and has never had interest in them before me and such. But yes, I could handle it, I had to accept such situations throughout the past 5 months when making my decisions I have actually casually dated since the break up, which he knows about.

Fair enough if it was mutual and your interests are both 100% platonic. The 'shocked' that you're talking about is different; I was essentially asking if you'd be hurt if you saw him tomorrow with a new girlfriend. You said you could handle it so that's fine, and he knows you've dated casually so that's fine too. Moving forward, I suggest you make sure you're both on the same page regarding just being friends with no other intentions.

You're original question was about frequency of communication. I still think you should just act natural and not play a numbers game. That goes for meeting up with him as well. I don't think the Snapchat thing means much. If you really want to know you'll have to ask him.

I read your other thread..you said you broke up in the past; used Fwb to stay friends and two months later you got back together then broke up again...

How much longer did it take for the both of you to break up after getting back together and what was the cause of the break up?