Impossible to move on

My ex and I have had a long and tumultuous past...back and forth 3 times yet even when we go through of no contact I can't move passed it. I feel sadness and loss. Why can't I move on from this person?

I shall preface this by saying he has given me plenty of reason to hate him which should make it easier to move on but nothing works. There is a disconnect between my head and my heart; my heart loves him yet my head knows he is toxic for me. He has cheated on me (probably more times then I even know), lied to me, manipulated me and used me yet nothing! At one point when we were in a sort of dating stage (we had broken up but were still hanging out) he slept with someone else and had a baby with her (though he never had or even has a relationship with the mother) yet that wasn't enough to make me run. After months apart during the arrival of the baby we ended up work together only for it to fail again. Just 3 months ago he contacted me again and I was very clear to him about how I felt about him and that he is a point of weakness for me so if he didn't want the same thing he is best to walk away because it is something I struggle with however he stuck around (for a while) and really made just a good effort and I fell all over again. But that only lasted for 3 months till I got the feeling something wasn't right between us ..I questioned him but nothing then two days later I walk into a restaurant with my friend and he is there with some girl. I called him up right then a there but he maintained he wasn't doing wrong, he could go out with whoever he wanted, I was overreacting, etc. Yet he never did clarify the situation so its obvious he was doing something wrong...following that he sent me a text to apologize for coming back into my life again when he wasn't ready to commit to me and that was it, nothing regarding his wrongdoing. I didn't reply because I felt there was nothing to say and I haven't heard from him since (last weekend).

I do take responsibly for my part in this as I just ignore him when he comes around however he is well aware that I find it difficult to detach my feelings yet he clearly he has no issue with that.

I know in my head I am better half but my heart is broken and I feel loss rather than being grateful that someone like that is gone from my life.

How do I get over someone like this even when they have given me plenty of reason to do so?

Allie my ex was just like yours. Perhaps you should look up sociopaths. I believe that my ex was. And they are tremendously difficult to get over. Mine cheated, lied, blamed me for everything, kicked me and my son out of his house, physically abused me and took money from me. Yet I cannot bring myself to hate him even though he hates me and told me to just forget that he ever existed and get out of his life.

Big hugs to you! It's horrible to go through all of tHis. Especially alOne. I don't have many friends and the ones I do don't understand my connection and say I should just get over him. It's really not that simple but I wish that it was.

in guess we have to decide what we will put up with. And I don't want to put up with how our relationship ended. I always remember the good times.....our relationship didn't get bad until February and I suspect it as because he already had another girl on the hook. link removed is a good site to read and see if he fits the description. If so they have articles that can help you understand your inability to get over the relationship. They always have a way to draw you back in.....also look at link removed.

Best of luck on your road to healing and recovery. We can. I think do tHis. We just have to do it one day at a a time and no contact is truky the way to go. Block his number. I see a text from him and immediately get an adrenaline rush. It's hard to say no when they are so convincing and manipulative.....let me know if the sites help you alL. And I'm here if you need to talK😊everyone here has been so wonderful I'm sure you'll find the support that you need here

This isn't about them, but about you.

You are not moving forward because YOU choose to not move forward. This is not love, but a love addiction that is tied to low self esteem. Look up love addiction.

You cannot change them, but you can change your own behavior, if you want to. I would also seek out counseling, as you are treating yourself very poorly.