Need some advice, feeling confused.

Hey people.

Im gonna try to explain this the shortest way I can. Please understand that English is not my native language.

I have been in quite a short relationship for 2 months, and then got broken up with. I usually dont feel pretty bad about short term relationship break ups, but I really fell for this guy (im gay btw).

After being broken up with I may have reacted a bit overboard, but I did no begging, pleading, reasoning etc.

I figured I should just enter the no contact period.

On day 4 of no contact I suddenly get a text message of him saying 'Thank you for loving me, you did it perfectly'

And this after I was slowly getting over him.....sigh

It might be wordt mentioning that this was a saturday night and he was probably intoxicated by amfetamines and alcohol. He has also been diagnosed with mild borderline disorder.

My questions are these:

- What does he mean...is he saying goodbye ? Might he have regrets ? Im not getting his reason for telling me this.

- What do I do ? I havent replied so far, and have no idea if I should at all

Thanks in advance for reading

- Matt

Well, to be perfectly honest, I don't believe there is a "mild borderline" - either you have borderline or you don't. With that said, I would not date anyone who told me they hsve BP. As you can see, the roller coaster ride has begun. Don't ride it with him.

Well, to be perfectly honest, I don't believe there is a "mild borderline" - either you have borderline or you don't. With that said, I would not date anyone who told me they hsve BP. As you can see, the roller coaster ride has begun. Don't ride it with him.

Im slowly starting to realise this as well. Looking back it was all a bit up and down with him.

I have to say is seems a tad harsh to say people shouldnt date BP people.

Anyway, do you have any insight in why he's saying this or what it even means ?

Or if I should say something back ?

No block him and move on and heal..it was a very short relationship more like a fling. You should get over him fairly soon.

I didn't say ppl shouldnt date anyone with BP., but I will not. Anyway, you have 2 options.

1) Do not respond, block him, chalk it up as experience, have a nice summer meeting cool ppl who contribute to your happiness.

2) Get sucked into his world by responding and going for the bumpiest roller coaster ride you've ever been on. If you choose this option, I will not respond to any of your posts about this guy next month, the month after next, 3 months, 6 months, etc.

Heh, do I detect some previous experience with BP people on your part ?

Also Im still wondering what he means ? (Since you seem to be experienced with BP people). And why the hell he would send me that message.

I didn't say ppl shouldnt date anyone with BP., but I will not. Anyway, you have 2 options.

1) Do not respond, block him, chalk it up as experience, have a nice summer meeting cool ppl who contribute to your happiness.

2) Get sucked into his world by responding and going for the bumpiest roller coaster ride you've ever been on. If you choose this option, I will not respond to any of your posts about this guy next month, the month after next, 3 months, 6 months, etc.

Heh, do I detect some previous experience with BP people on your part ?

Also Im still wondering what he means ? (Since you seem to be experienced with BP people). And why the hell he would send me that message.

Oops, posted twice somehow.

He wants a reaction from you. Ppl with BP cannot stand being ignored. He threw you some bait, confusing bait, and now he's anxiously waiting for a response.

He wants a reaction from you. Ppl with BP cannot stand being ignored. He threw you some bait, confusing bait, and now he's anxiously waiting for a response.

Fascinating, would have never guessed that. To me it sounded more like a goobye text or a 'thank you for the fun times' text.

Im not going to respond to it either way.

They tend to be master manipulators.

He doesnt seem to manipulative. He's not unfriendly, I just dont get it (I usually dont get it

I continually want to understand people in general too.

Any other opinions are still welcome =]

Why did he break up w/ you?

Why did he break up w/ you?

The basic reason seemed to be 'We're too diffrent'.

I kindoff understood where he was coming from. I have aspergers, and he has borderline....great combo

I, however, felt immensly in love for the first time in years, and would have NEVER ended the relationship.

What confused me even more is that he said that he was still in love with me 'but just couldnt go on with it'

To add even more to the confusion. It was his idea to 'make it official', and in the beginning he was really insecure, seemed to crave my attention, put pics of us up on his FB, etc. How this changed in a matter of weeks...I do not know.

Maybe I just lost my game you know. Forgot how to be the person he liked in the first place. Its usually that in my experience. I tend to lose myself when I fall in love.

He just asked me how im doing after a week of NC.

Should I at least tell him Im doing fine (I actually am doing fine to my own surprise), or should I ignore him.

By now I dont think I really want him back anyway.

Ignore him. He will keep texting and if you don't want him back, ignoring is the only way to stop contact.

He just asked me how im doing after a week of NC.

 

Should I at least tell him Im doing fine (I actually am doing fine to my own surprise), or should I ignore him.

 

By now I dont think I really want him back anyway.

I recommend you ignore.

Play through the text exchange: How are you? / Doing great, thanks. / Glad to hear. or silence, or Wanna get a beer? or I am not doing as well, or...

None of his potential answers back, if he gives one at all, are useful to you.

I thought I might say 'Im doing fine' and then ignore him again if he says someting back at all.

But you guys seem to know your stuff.

I thought I might say 'Im doing fine' and then ignore him again if he says someting back at all.

 

But you guys seem to know your stuff.

My football helmet is full of grass stains from prior experience on the field.

I thought I might say 'Im doing fine' and then ignore him again if he says someting back at all.

 

But you guys seem to know your stuff.

So when you do respond and you give him yet another chance to blow you off, how will you feel?

If you can handle rejection from him twice, go ahead.

If not, I would recommend no contact.

If he really wants you he will come and find you.

The rest is just bread crumbs and attention seeking.

@reinventmyself

I dont really care anymore, tho I do want him to feel happy in his life in general.

I have moved on MUCH quicker than I thought I would when I started this thread (I felt horrible)

Yet another update (figured I might as well share it here too).

He contacted me again last saturday. He simply asked me how I was doing so I thought id humor him and tell him I was fine.

The conversation then turned weird (in my opinion at least).

Seemingly out of the blue, he told me he was making big changes is his life. Tho I personally didnt really care, I responded positively to this.

After this he told me he still thinks about me everyday. I would have preferred not hearing that. And I once again have no clue as to why he would say this.

I am starting to think I might just block him off completely now, as this is keeping me from the last steps of healing completely.