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Terrified I am starting to see the end of my relationship


Hondola

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Well, my girlfriend is finishing her last semester here at my university, in like a month and a half. She then has student teaching two hours away for a semester. Over the summer she is working 6 days a week at a camp. 3 hours away. I asked her maybe a month ago if she was worried about all this, and she said no, she wants to be long distance. I do too. But, she is also getting a horse this summer( she loves horses) and I'm happy for her, but I fairly sure that this horse and her other plans with it will drain any remaining time left for us to see each other on weekends. She wants to keep her horse at a barn where she spends all this time now helping her gay friend fix up a barn. The other day she said she hopes she can keep her horse there free by working there over weekends during her student teaching....and I vs tell that she didn't even think about the implications of that. I don't mind her pursuing her dreams, but I don't feel like I am part of them, I am just there hopefully if I take what little she offers and put more effort. She also seems to think I'll be doing all the visiting this summer, which is not fair, I guess I need to have a big talk but the idea of breaking up brings tears to my eyes, I love her, but I see the relationship becoming a one way street, I already do a lot more for her than she does for me now.

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I guess the question I have is, what are your plans for the summer and next semester? One of the hardest things about LDRs is figuring out where you fit in and how to make time to see your partner. I will say that a three hour drive is a pretty modest amount of distance compared to what some people (myself included) deal with.

 

Distance could be a revealing test for your relationship--can she be counted on to make time to call you regularly? Can she make time for you and perhaps even visit you once during the summer? Can both of you stay committed to one another despite not seeing each other much?

 

I hate to tell you, but after student teaching, she's going to have to get a job, and sometimes it's not possible to be picky on location, depending on what the demand is for educators in your area. So you really never know. Graduating from high school and graduating from college are two major transitions that relationships often can't survive. It's just the way of the world. Good luck.

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