We broke up, unofficially (long story). Is my only option to move on?

My ex and I met on Tinder in December, and started really talking after New Year's. I'm 18 and in high school, he's 19 and in college. We went out on two dates and then he had to go back to school. We had been talking for about three weeks at that point, everyday, all day. So, I visited him at college, stayed in his dorm, and had sex with him (lost my virginity to him). Then, about two weeks later, I visited him for Vday and again, had sex with him. I had never loved talking to someone so much, and he had all of the qualities I was looking for. However, he did not give me a Vday gift, and the Monday after, I saw that he had been active on Tinder about 5 days before. So, I texted him and things got a little ugly. But, we snapchatted the next wkend, and he said he did not want to take a break, but he was hurt about one of the comments I made, which was "I hope you find another naive girl on Tinder." Since he would not talk on the phone, I ended up calling him, saying I'd assume we're broken up if he did not call me back. He did not, so I texted an apology, hoping he might talk. Nothing. It has been a week. It sucks that it had to end that way, and I know it was a lot of my doing. I was planning to do NC and expect to never hear from him again, is that the only option?

Yeah...only option.

Seems to happening to a lot of high school girls theses days.

So you think he just used me? It is so hard for me to comprehend.

It happens all the time.

I know. I guess I'm just stupid.

Definitely not stupid just young and naive. We've all been there, consider it a learning experience, no big deal.

Definitely not stupid just young and naive. We've all been there, consider it a learning experience, no big deal.

I feel like he really did like me though. 😭 Is there any way to get him back? I am the one who caused the whole break up.

First, this wasn't even really a relationship since you really barely knew each other. Dating and seeing each other every day for six months and then maybe you start to approach something more serious. Second, you aren't the one who caused the whole break up--him being active on Tinder chatting up other girls? That's the problem. And yes, it was probably just sex to him. Sorry, Tinder is primarily a hookup site, not one for people looking for serious relationships. And he seemed so compatible, because he was agreeing like crazy to get you to like him. The fact is you barely knew the guy and everyone is on their best behavior and their "Oh my gosh, I love that band/film/book too and I feel exactly that way too..." And there is nothing wrong with that, but you have to realize who you're seeing in the beginning is only one side, usually carefully picked and presented to get you to like them.

Don't beat yourself up about it. You met someone, you made love, you're a woman. And then you stood up for yourself and now you are free to move on and find a guy who wants something more serious. There isn't really a way to get someone back when they didn't want what you wanted to begin with. All you can do is learn from the experience, acknowledge that he's pulling a guilt act on you "That remark really hurt my feelings" to deflect attention away from his own actions. "Yeah, I was chatting up other girls on Tinder even though I probably led you to believe there was more there" and move on forward.

There will be other guys, better guys, and that's a guarantee. You'll learn and be fine, just please practice safe sex is all and never be sorry for standing up for yourself.

This is all part of life's rich tapestry at eighteen, you have a whole set of experiences to live through to find out what you need in a relationship. Move on to the next chapter, it'll be much more interesting than this guy.

So, there is no way of getting him back?

You can't get back what you never had.

So, there is no way of getting him back?

Why would you even want someone like that back?

No there's no way to control someone else's feelings. But your young and it's a valuable lesson. You'll be better armed next time with someone new.

Thanks guys. My psychiatrist said to text him since he has break in a few weeks. I don't know, because no one else has advised to do so...

I think that's terrible advice and not the first time I've heard doctors or therapists tell a patient that. Personally everytime I broke no Contact I felt awful afterwards, still do sometimes a year later but we communicate a bit due to our kids. I really don't see the point

And what would texting him serve? Making yourself available for another FWB situation? Absurd.

And what would texting him serve? Making yourself available for another FWB situation? Absurd.

I agree with mhowe. You deserve to be with someone who respects you!

Thanks so much guys. You are good people. I needed that.

It sounds like some of you think he wouldn't ignore me?

The guy met you on Tinder - a hook up app, rather than meeting at something based on common interests. He went on two dates with you, and the third time you came to his dorm room and slept with him. He got what he wanted and wanted to keep his options open. You were not exclusively dating him and have only been talking to him a month or two. I would focus less on getting him back and more on gaining skills on how to meet quality guys who want the same things you do - and NOT on a hook up app. I don't get the impression that you want a hookup - I get the impression that you are hoping for a boyfriend. He owed you nothing and you got nothing.

He had minimal interest to begin with and achieved his goal. Which was getting laid. Very few college guys have loftier relationship goals...especially

With high school girls they find on Tinder.