How to express all the emotions inside (I broke NC!!!)

This is such a blessing, I really think this was an answer to my prayers. I'm so emotional right now--not sad, not even angry. I think what Im feeling is relief and shock at the same time.

I've written about him before. The guy I cut off all contact with back in November. Yes, I've been in NC since November but that all changed this morning. I called him. You see, I got a phone call at 1am from a woman who copied down my phone number from his phone. She didn't like some of the texts between he and I. Turns out, that woman was his live-in gf! She had some questions for me, and in return, I got answers. He always left me so confused, I would therefore get emotional, and he would act like I was such an emotional basket case. I even directly asked him twice if there was another woman, and of course, he then accused me of being irrational. There was jyst something NOT RIGHT with him, but I couldn't get to the bottom of it bc he always blamed my emotions as the problem.

So I called him today to call him out on it. He didn't answer, so I left a VM. I was calm and collect. I told him what I knew, I asked if he enjoyed the game, I asked why he wasn't honest, I questioned how he could lead a double life like that and have no remorse. I ended it by telling him he is still blocked and I never want to see or hear from him again. I then told him im thankful for this happening bc now I know that my inner voice is strong, and how relieved I am to learn the truth that I really already knew. I wished him the best, reminded him to never contact me, and hung up.

And I feel amazing. I feel like I can really move forward. The truth can set you free

Good for you! I'm sorry it happened this way, but at least you have closure and can move forward.

I'm happy, really happy. I questioned myself so many times. I am in a somewhat new rship now and I have never felt that I can fully mice forward bc I didn't trust my judgement. I figured I would run him off line I did the ex. Turns out, I was not being dramatic and emotional. My intuition was kicking me in the stomach and I kept second guessing myself bc he was such s good liar!!

Haha. That happened to me once. I knew the guy I was with had just come out of a relationship. We were together for a year then broke up.

Somehow, another 6 months or so later (everyone had moved on by then) I started hanging out with his ex, she was a nice girl. And we were both shocked to find out that about 6 months into my relationship with him, he was seeing both of us! So he didn't break up with her like he told me and lied to both of us for 6 months.

I was really angry and betrayed, even though I had moved on. So her and I decided to play one on him. We pretended to "accidentally" run into him in a bar, separately, and then we would both tell him (separately) that we want to spend the night with him. And so we did, we took him to one side and said I want to be with you bla bla tonight. He was super happy and tried to find a solution as we each wanted to spend the same night with him...!

He tried to make up excuses so that he can have sex with each of us on two separate nights.

When we returned to our table, and we each poured a large mug of coffee on his head, down his shirt, clothes etc...

It was hilarious.

And he was devastated.

He walked home with black coffee all over him.

That's probably one of the very few moments in my life when I was happy and remorseless to have hurt someone.

10 years fast-forward, him and I are still friends.

i suddenly feel sad. Why didn't I walk away at the first sign of shadiness. And how could he do this to me, I mean, I've know him since like age 10.

Is this going to leave a permanent scar? I mean, will I ever be able to fully trust a guy now?

Of course you will. And from now on you will be able to recognise the signs.

Confusing is often a huge sign that something is wrong. If there's something confusing about a relationship, it's because you don't have all the facts.

And you learned something else: when people get more defensive than they should, and even attack you, something's wrong.

You saw the signs and knew something was wrong.

Now you know what.

Life is giving you a sign and gave you a chance to work through your emotions and give you this news exactly when you can handle it.

You finally know the truth and know it wasn't you. It taught you to trust your instinct.

Do you think that the longer we know someone, the less likely they are to lie to us?

I feel for you.

And gosh, I don't want to imagine what that other girl must be feeling right now.

She told me that when she confronted him about me, he told her that he was just playing games with me and actually text me a few things with her right there and they woukd get a laugh out of my response. She said she never thought it was funny to do to me, she only went along with it.

Hopefully she thinks it's just as funny when he starts doing it to her.

What kills me the most is we were supposed to meet out one night in November. He lived 3 hours from me and I kept asking him what time to expect him in. Never got a true answer until the day of. So, I got gussied up and was literally sitting on thd couch waiting for him to call and say "made it, will pick u up in 5 minutes". No. Instead, he text me to say he hadn't even left yet. I voiced my frustration and then I said that I was going to bed because if he were to leave right now, he would get into town after midnight, and I had to work the next day. He called me a Grandma for not wanting to stay up for him that late.

Well, she told me he never planned on seeing me that day, never planned on driving down. It was a game. He was home the entire time. I bought a new outfit that week to wear that night and it was all a lie.

Narcissist narcissist narcissist.

Ok well I worked out with kettle bells and now I can see more clearly. Derroax, you are right buddy. It was unfolded before me today for a certain reason. I an much stronger today than what I was last month. So happy go have found out. I may have been sad for much longer by blaming myself and not having closure.

i suddenly feel sad. Why didn't I walk away at the first sign of shadiness. And how could he do this to me, I mean, I've know him since like age 10.

Because, sadly, that's just who HE is... not all men can be honest about this stuff and want more than one (selfishness).

Believe me- there's all kinds!

Is this going to leave a permanent scar? I mean, will I ever be able to fully trust a guy now?

Yes, you will. When you are fully over this incident and him. I had it as well from an Ex..then another. BUT, I stil won't see every guy as a liar.

It all takes time. Time to heal and time to move on, be ready & try again.