Following my Head vs. My Heart

I'm a senior in college and I've been doing a long distance relationship with my girl for nearly two years. To say the least, they were some of the best times (for both of us) and we both believe that some day we will end up together. About a month ago however she broke up with me. She is trying to decide on where she will live/work after graduation and she also feels the need to be independent for a little while. This has frustrated me because I feel as if she could do all of this while being in a relationship with me and I could give her everything she needs. However, I am also a man and have needs too and I do not want her to half ass things. She also says she doesn't think she can give me everything she needs. I'm fairly certain that she will take a job accross the country in May and that we won't continue to do the long distance (too far). Now, however she is starting to reach out and says that she at least wants to spend time with me before she (potentially) leaves.

Here is where I am stuck: do I try and swallow my pride, feelings of frustration, and pain, and attempt to just keep it light and casual with her? Can I possibly hold my tongue when it comes to me thinking about her with another man since we broke up, or the fact that she may be manipulating me for her convenience? Like I said I have needs too and I don't want to end up getting more hurt, but I also love her to death and I want to spend time with her in any capacity there is. I am stuck between following my heart that says to try and spend time with her as much as possible before she leaves and my head that tells me she is using you for her convenience and it'll only make it more difficult to let go in the end.

Everyone's thoughts/opinions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

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You are hurting yourself. If she wants to leave let her. Don't force your self with her. In the end, you will gain nothing but pain. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. It's just month in a half and he is already married. This whole situation is killing me. He is sharing his life, feelings all those romantic moment with someone else but I am trying to be strong. Trust me, there is something good coming to you soon that's why this relation is ending. You might find someone who will love you like crazy and be there to love you and care for you exactly the way you wanted. Don't hurt yourself, I know how you feel so that's why I am telling you. Let it go and wait for new beginning.

Regards

Mehr

Mhowe, I feel the manipulation comes from her feeling as if I'm a convenience to her. She says she truly loves me and thinks I am the one for her, but she also can't give me everything I need right now. By that I mean I want her to give me 100% of her love and be there for me like she always has been. I want us to be in a committed relationship, even if it is only for a little while longer. I can't do an open relationship with her and I doubt I could keep things casual. I agree that she might just want to see me before she leaves, but isn't that just convenience? I want her to not only want to see me but also want to date again seriously for the short period of time before she leaves.

Oh yeah, and I failed to mention we have a spring break trip planned together to the Caribbean, just me and her. This is something she 100% wants to do and I'm not sure if I do now.

I don't think she sees you as a convenience ---- she broke up with you. She is setting you and herself free.

You want to give her 100% love and she doesn't want to commit to you. Seeing you before she leaves (since she is LD now) means seeing you. It doesn't need to be sleeping with you.

There is no point in dating seriously until she leaves. It will only make her leaving harder.

No way would I go on a vacation with a person who has already broken up with me.

However, I have a difficult time thinking that I could NOT date her seriously. I couldn't stand the idea of her hooking up with other dudes while we were together, in any respect.

She, as of right now, can date anyone she pleases. She broke up with you.

Then don't date her.

She needs to make the decisions of career and city on her own, and not to appease or make it more convenient for a long distance boyfriend. You guys are not to the point of seriously building a life together, only you think you will end up together. Your relationship is not to the point where you guys are planning to end up in the same town or feasibly working towards marriage, only the "we will end up together". I think you should let her go. Tell her you don't want to hang out if you are broken up and you should end contact. If she wants you back, she is going to have to contact you meaningfully. Not "whatcha doin"? There really is no point if you guys are going to remain long distance with no plans, for her to tie herself to you and not get the chance to meet someone local that she can date. Sometimes relationships are all about timing. Maybe you will get together someday. maybe not. But the stakes were not high enough for you guys to immediately want to be in the same place no matter what