laelithia Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Hi everyone. At this point, I have severed almost all social media with my ex. We are completely NC after he lied about seeing his ex while we were seeing each other again. However, I had forgotten about snapchat. I posted a "story" on mine and noticed the next day my ex had viewed it. I'm guessing this is my cue to now block and delete him from that, as well as deleting his sister off facebook. Once those two things are done I will have no way of contacting him and vice versa. Is this what I should do? Part of me felt a skck satisfaction that he was still interested in what I was doing but I also know this probably isn't healthy. As for his sister, she was very nice and kind while we dated and I would have enjoyed her friendship, we have not spoken since my ex and I broke up. I am torn on whether to delete her or just hide the content of my page. Any advice? Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 You need to do what's right for you. Maybe sleep on that one if your not sure. We tend to make rash decisions under stress. Another day won't change anything. Link to comment
No1 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I broke my wrist last year. I did what I thought was right. I went to the doctor, had it X-rayed and it was put in a cast and I did what was right for my bones to heal. Now Im doing just fine. Your heart is broken but it can be mended and it will heal. You do what you feel is right for you. If blocking your X makes you feel better, then do it. If talking to your X makes you feel horrible then stop doing it. You will eventually find what works for you. Now if talking to your X's sister is a problem then dont talk to her. If you can talk to her and you feel like its no problem, there you go.. Link to comment
Lonesomeroad25 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Yep! I did it as well . Blocked, deleted everything and everyone we had in common. Better this way, no reminders and no temptation to contact this person. Link to comment
milly007 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I agree with reinventmyself. If you aren't sure whether you want to delete his sister from Facebook yet, just sleep on it. Give yourself some time to think about it. No need to make an immediate decision, right? Link to comment
laelithia Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 That's true. I am only worried that I might come accross another picture of my ex back together with his ex and that really threw me for a loop last time. I don't know though, his sister didn't do anything wrong. As for anapchat, I'm worried I might regret it afterwards. Mind you I can't think of a reason I would Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 That's true. I am only worried that I might come accross another picture of my ex back together with his ex and that really threw me for a loop last time. I don't know though, his sister didn't do anything wrong. As for anapchat, I'm worried I might regret it afterwards. Mind you I can't think of a reason I would I am pretty sure you can limit what you see of your sis in law's posts. I have a co worker who I don't want to offend by defriending but all his political, NRA rants get on my nerve so I limit it so I can't see what he posts without having to defriend him, problem solved! Link to comment
BigKK Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 block him from snapchat, either delete or hide his sister, and move on Link to comment
laelithia Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 I blocked him after he viewed another one of my stories on snapchat and I feel great! I'm sure it bothered him a little and that kind of made me happy too haha I am going to hide my fb content from his sister and that will be that! End of that chapter of my life Link to comment
laelithia Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 Hi guys, I'm having a bit of a setback today, I don't know why. I never want my ex back, I know that, but I really am still hurt over how he treated me in the sense of lying and cheating and never really apologizing. At one point all he card about was if I was happy, and now he did this horrible thing to me and could care less... How do I reconcile that? I have and will continue to be NC by the way Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Delete and block with extreme prejudice. No half measures, back doors, or compromises. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Hi guys, I'm having a bit of a setback today, I don't know why. I never want my ex back, I know that, but I really am still hurt over how he treated me in the sense of lying and cheating and never really apologizing. At one point all he card about was if I was happy, and now he did this horrible thing to me and could care less... How do I reconcile that? I have and will continue to be NC by the way I'm assuming you meant couldn't care less, not could care less. Sometimes crappy horrible things happen to us. There is no reconciliation. We just have to struggle to get by it, lean on friends, and hope time won't take it's time healing us. Sorry for your pain Link to comment
laelithia Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 I'm assuming you meant couldn't care less, not could care less. Sometimes crappy horrible things happen to us. There is no reconciliation. We just have to struggle to get by it, lean on friends, and hope time won't take it's time healing us. Sorry for your pain Yes, that's what I meant. Thank you, it does seem that sometimes sh*t just happens. I guess I just have to keep on keeping on and try not to think of it too much Link to comment
laelithia Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 Hi everyone, So I'm torn what to do about keeping my ex's sister on facebook. Yesterday she posted a picture of her and my ex and it really upset me to see him looking happy as a clam after what he did to me and how hard this Christmas has been for me because of him. I know that had I deleted his sister I wouldn't have seen that, but she is such a nice and lovely person I keep feeling it would be petty and rude to delete her. I also feel like for her not to have deleted me after everything that happened with her brother and I, she must feel the same way. What should I do? Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Delete her. You don't break up with someone and remain friends with their family. Link to comment
WithLove Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Delete her. You don't break up with someone and remain friends with their family. I am still friends with every member of my first ex's family, except him. He is not blocked. His family has stayed in my heart these 3 years we've been broken up, but I could never let them go. I messaged him when we broke up and asked if he would be bothered if I stayed friends with them. He wasn't, and isn't. So I guess it just depends on how deeply the bad feelings run. Link to comment
laelithia Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 Ugh I am regretting blocking him from snapchat. Before he could see my stories and all the fun things I'm up to and now he can't. I also think it finalized that I never want contact again. Tell me it was the right decision to block him Link to comment
laelithia Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 You know it was. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I just can't believe I let this whole thing go on for so long. I keep replaying the past and all it does is cause more pain Link to comment
Kadbanoo Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I am still friends with every member of my first ex's family, except him. He is not blocked. His family has stayed in my heart these 3 years we've been broken up, but I could never let them go. I messaged him when we broke up and asked if he would be bothered if I stayed friends with them. He wasn't, and isn't. So I guess it just depends on how deeply the bad feelings run. I am still friends with some of my ex's family, too. I don't understand this "you break up with the ex, you break up with the family". I received nice messages from his aunt, cousin and sister and will see them again when I go back to Iran in June. My ex brought us in to each other's lives and our relationships (sister, aunt, cousin and me) are *our* relationships, independent of my ex. They were loving, kind people who welcomed me into the family and I am glad that we have a friendly relationship! I couldn't imagine it any other way. Link to comment
chickadeedee Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 ^^ Because it eventually may be very awkward for him if he gets a new partner and his ex is still trying to treat his family as if they were her own. It will be disrespectful to him and his new partner/wife if you are trying to hang onto his relatives. They will eventually shut you out regardless other than perhaps minor phone contact or emails/social media, because they need to be the family of his new partner and not you. Link to comment
Kadbanoo Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 ^^ Because it eventually may be very awkward for him if he gets a new partner and his ex is still trying to treat his family as if they were her own. It will be disrespectful to him and his new partner/wife if you are trying to hang onto his relatives. They will eventually shut you out regardless other than perhaps minor phone contact or emails/social media, because they need to be the family of his new partner and not you. Sounds like you've had some really unfortunate experiences. I would never dream of thinking it disrespectful of my ex to maintain contact with people in my family after we split, and my exes have - going back to my first boyfriend who I broke up with in 1989... we are still friends on FB (he has had two wives since we broke up) and his siblings, nieces, nephews and I still chat and see each other when I'm back in the States. On of my other long-term exes (12 years together) still came to family dinners after we broke up and he came to my wedding. My ex-husband and I talk every day and I just spent xmas with his (our)family. It's not a matter of us "hanging on" to each other's families- they are mutual, reciprocal relationships. Just because we are not romantically involved anymore doesn't mean we stop liking people we have gotten to know... I guess I have been really lucky in my life to choose good partners with loving, normal families who wouldn't see maintaining friendships as disrespectful. Link to comment
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