What does this mean?

Hey everybody!

I've been recently getting over a breakup (about just over a month) and we were on and off for about 2 and a half years, but mostly on. Even in the off times, we'd stil ltalk to each other. Anyway, we decided it's for real to call it quits this time, and we haven't spoken to each other in about a month. For the first week or so, it bloody sucked, it hurt heaps and I couldn't stop thinking about her. For the 3 weeks after that, I kept myself heaps busy, went out heaps, even semi-started dating somebody again, and barely thought about her! She was at the back of my mind that crossed it maybe once a day, but even when it did, I thought to myself that the break up was for the best and I couldn't stop it. Either way, I felt good and felt extremely happy to be single.

However, for the past couple days I've been thinking about my ex increasingly, not in a way that hurts though. I'm thinking about her a lot more, but more from a perspective that I miss her. It doesn't really hurt anymore, I just miss her as more of a person than anything. In saying that though, if I were to right at this moment, see her with another guy, it would still probably kill me. What does this mean?!?

Thanks

It's called your healing. Healing doesn't mean you wake up one day and go yay I'm healed. It's a series of up days and down days and time the up days take over.

Your ex will cross your mind less and less and the thoughts will affect you less and less.

The alarm in your thread is when you said you've started dating around. Dude give yourself sometime to heal up before getting back out there. Someone new only masks the pain and distracts you from it. The pain is still there your just forcing it to the back burner.

Take care.

It takes much longer than that to get over such a long relationship.

Yes, going out with someone new will distract you from your ex for a while, but the thing is, you can't really replace someone you love with someone new that easily. It's too soon, way too soon. Been there, done that, only to learn that no matter how much I wanted a new relationship, it doesn't work. It doesn't work most of the times, though I am sure there are some rare exceptions out there.

I agree with Craig and Panther.

It's going to take some time for you to get your over ex. It will get better, just might take some more time. Perhaps take a back seat in dating? It sounds like you aren't ready for it, and no one needs to have their feelings hurt.

Like you said, continue to keep busy. Go the gym, pub with mates etc. It will get better, chin up!

This is part of your healing. And healing is more of a wave or rollercoaster type of cycle usually, not linear. Highs and lows are to be expected and these will get shorter and shorter and flatten out over time. You will go through a variety of emotions, but stay the path and keep moving forward. You're doing fine.

Also the holidays tend to bring these sorts of things to the forefront. I'm not sure why, but lately even I have caught myself brooding about people no longer with me although not because of breakups. A good friend dead some years now, my father, my mother's slide into Alzheimer's. It's a happy time, but yeah it's also a time when the mind tends to turn to the "what ifs" a bit. So just understand that, keep moving forward. You will be fine. You're healing.