She's not interested anymore, but she won't leave me alone?

About a year ago, I met a really nice girl who was dating a friend of mine. While they weren't really compatible, we found that we shared a lot of interests, like reading. Eventually, after they had broken up, we turned up the flirting and were on the verge of tipping over into the land of exclusivity. However, I got very crossfaded one night and called her up, said some things I shouldn't have, and totally scared her off. Then I spent the next three months being hopelessly lapdog trying to get back the excitement in her voice when I'd call her, or her eagerness to go on a spontaneous date. After she got it through my skull that she didn't want to see me anymore, I was totally crushed. Ive gotten much better since then, but every couple months she sends me a text telling me to go check out a certain book because it reminds her of me. Why won't she leave me alone?

Well she hasn't quite turned into a stalker , every couple of months is not too bad ... its not good either like ...had it been more I would have said she was keeping you warmed up as the run to guy . She still may be doing exactly that ... keeping herself in the picture .

so .... just politely write back and tell her you are not interested .

just out of interest did the friend not mind you breraking the bro code .

Why don't you block her number, problem solved.

Lessons learnt don't drunk dial potential mates. Don't chase unavailable women. Have some self worth and respect not to be someone's lap dog and realise your man enough to get a woman on your own merits.

We go on in life going please like me, please love me. What matters is what do you think of yourself? Do you love yourself? As soon as you seek self value from another person you will always be lacking.

Go and improve your self confidence and you'll attract a higher calibre of women.

Good luck.

@CraigHowes

I suppose I should block her number, but you're missing the point, I've already made it clear that I DID gain some self worth from the experience, and I realize that lapdog behavior wasn't going to serve anyone's interests. Perhaps you should try to comprehend what the first post says, BEFORE you start trying to answer a question that I never asked. Just my two cents m8.

I've told her I'm not interested multiple times, both politely AND impolitely... The point is she acts like its me trying to edge back into her life when I tell her this.

And no, my friend didn't take any offense to my action of breaking the "bro code", but in all honesty I still would've even if I thought he would care. She was, and he wasn't, worth the risk.

apologies for my spelling on that last post ... I am just out my bed andit was too late to edit !!

can you just change your number ...I know a lot of people dont like to ..I dont because it means changing it with school , doctors , etc etc .....or just go into ignore mode ..say nothing ,..not ever ....just ignore the text when she sends one ..no matter how much she baits you ....ignore .

When she texts you about books, do you say "Ok thanks" and leave it at that, or start a convo?

If it's not the former, make it so.

I literally haven't said a word but that I'll keep an eye out for her book the last three times, yet they keep coming

I literally haven't said a word but that I'll keep an eye out for her book the last three times, yet they keep coming

well dont say that now ....nothing ....just nothing

Yungartist, what are you hopes and how do you respond to her texts? Do you want her to leave you alone or do you want another chance?

Knowing what you want is key in how you respond or don't.

Im confused... She was your buddy's X, you two have reading as your common interest, you drunk called her and ruined any chance you have, after months of trying to get her to like you, you learned she is not interested and then in a later post you say you have told her many times that YOU are not interested?

Oh, its quite clear she is not interested in you at any romantic level, she would like you as a friend, but not anything else. But you still have reading as a common interest.

Like someone said, if she texts you saying about a book you say Okay thank you Ill have a look.. and then leave it alone.. nothing else. Eventually the texts will stop.