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Is he flirting or am i just alone and misinterpret? plz help :)


girligirl1

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My ex broke up with me like 2 months ago. I felt very bad and after a while I contacted another ex (let's call him Y)

who broke up with me 5 years ago.

I've told Y about what happened with my relationship and also when I asked about his life he told me he's been

dating a girl for like 6 months but they are not in a relationshop. Altough they do more than just sex, like shopping,

going to resturants etc.

 

So yesterday we went for a walk, this was like the third time we met, he was very happy, was joking to me, very charming, touched my hair

and told it looked good, also he kind of touch me when he was joking and stuff like that. It was like a little connection.

When I asked about the girl he said he was a little bit afraid of getting in to a relationship, but he also said he was going

to her after our walk. Seems like they meet like 2 times a week.

 

Also, when he broke up with me I tried to get him back, and we did hook up, had sex, and kind of dated for 2-3 months before

he broke up again. Since then we haven't have any contact until now.

 

Okey, my questions. His way to act, like giving me compliments for my hair, touching it etc. Is it just a way to be

friendly or you think it could be something more? And he seems uncomftarble when I ask about his date. He also said we should

have a coffe soon when we said bye. Although he know I am pretty sad about that my relationshop ended.

 

After this I feel like, I don't want to destroy things for him, and I'm not over my new ex, but I do think I could fall

in love with Y again. But I wont let me do that if I don't feel something back from him. And also I need to get over my new ex completely

before...

 

Reflections? Am I just desperate? haha... do feel quite lonley. Although I am dating other people. But just for fun,

I don't want to meet a new boyfriend from the internet right now...

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So when your bf dumps you why of all things would you contact someone else who dumped you?!

 

I can't think of anything more self destructive as to engage this guy who probably has a gf (just not being upfront about it) and trying to interpret what him touching your hair meant?

 

I am sorry. This must be a difficult time for you but please make some sound decisions in your own self care and stay away from those who do not mean you well.

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You are just desperate for attention.

 

He told you he is seeing someone, he told you he didn't want to get in a relationship. He even told you he was going to see her after he said good bye to you.

 

He isn't available to you.

 

He told me he was unsure about getting into a relationshop with his date. That was not about me.

 

No, I understand he isn't available, at least not as long as he sees her. I was just wondering why he touched my hair and that kind of stuff. But yes, I gues you're right..

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So when your bf dumps you why of all things would you contact someone else who dumped you?!

 

I can't think of anything more self destructive as to engage this guy who probably has a gf (just not being upfront about it) and trying to interpret what him touching your hair meant?

 

I am sorry. This must be a difficult time for you but please make some sound decisions in your own self care and stay away from those who do not mean you well.

 

Yes, I actually did. But the breakup with him was a couple of years ago... I'm not gonna try to get this old ex back or anything. I was just a bit confused over his behaviour. If it was someone new I would definitely think he was flirting...

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He told me he was unsure about getting into a relationshop with his date. That was not about me.

 

No, I understand he isn't available, at least not as long as he sees her. I was just wondering why he touched my hair and that kind of stuff. But yes, I gues you're right..

 

He doesn't want to get into a relationship ---- with anyone.

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Yes, I actually did. But the breakup with him was a couple of years ago... I'm not gonna try to get this old ex back or anything. I was just a bit confused over his behaviour. If it was someone new I would definitely think he was flirting...

 

Then why did you get back in touch with him?

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Then why did you get back in touch with him?

 

Well, maybe I hade a thought that it could be nice to hang out with him and get some attention to feel beetter. But when I realised he's seeing someone I backed off a bit. We just meet like friends and I'm okay with that. We were friends for a couple of years before we were a couple and I would like to be friends again if he wants to. Which I guess he might want since he said that we should take a coffe soon.

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Yes, I gues that's a good idea.. So you think we can't be friends if he's not the one contacting me the next time?

 

Again . . I don't understand the desire to be friends with someone who dumped you, especially having just been dumped again.

 

And as far as his actions : If I were to guess I would assume he would think you are an easy target after all he tossed you away once already and in spite of that you sought him out and you've come back for more. Factor in he's disclosed that he seeing someone and you are still open for something. . He's figuring. . heck .. why not!?

 

He can't possibly have any respect for you if you don't have any for yourself.

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Again . . I don't understand the desire to be friends with someone who dumped you, especially having just been dumped again.

 

And as far as his actions : If I were to guess I would assume he would think you are an easy target after all he tossed you away once already and in spite of that you sought him out and you've come back for more. Factor in he's disclosed that he seeing someone and you are still open for something. . He's figuring. . heck .. why not!?

 

He can't possibly have any respect for you if you don't have any for yourself.

 

I gues you have a point... my desire is probably because I don't have any male friends. And I find it difficult to find new ones, I feel like they think I'm flirting or want to sleep with them. And I would really like a male friend.

 

Well, no I think you've right. My self respect isn't that good. If anyone would give me any more tips (any more than stop contacting the ex) I would really appreciate it =) I do have to work on it...

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my desire is probably because I don't have any male friends. And I find it difficult to find new ones, I feel like they think I'm flirting or want to sleep with them. And I would really like a male friend.

 

This is all the more reason to avoid choosing an ex whom you've slept with as a "male friend." Also, it doesn't matter what they think, as you have the ability to prove them wrong.

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You would sleep with him too! You are asking if he is flirting.....

 

Leave him be. You are signaling that he can have you whenever he chooses.

 

I will leace him be. I'm not gonna contact him. Although, I haven't been flirting and I have been telling him nice things when we started to talk about his date. Also I have told him my ex broke up with me and that I'm not over him. So, it's not like I jumped all over him or anything... But, I will not contact him. What I meant was if you hade any more tips to increase my self respect than leaving them alone (which I will)?

 

Thanks for your responds btw!

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To start with. . Don't look to validate your self esteem through someone else.

 

Self esteem is self love. Begin with taking care of yourself, your body and your heart. This is the basis of self respect. You need to respect yourself first.

 

Choose your friends wisely and only surround yourself with those you trust and that have your best interest at heart.

 

I get that you are lonely. . but there is a saying `if you're hungry, you'll eat anything'

Learn to fill yourself up . emotionally and otherwise. You'll make better choices!

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Well, there's another explanation. Maybe he's thinking of a free hookup? You mention you slept with the guy after you broke up. He was letting you know he's not available to you relationship-wise, but he was sussing out whether or not you'd be okay with a hookup. That's why the touching you and invading your personal space, the compliments and flattery.

 

The guy wants to get laid. He is very clear about not wanting a relationship with you though. Your call if you want to just have a roll in the hay with an ex or leave it alone.

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Well, there's another explanation. Maybe he's thinking of a free hookup? You mention you slept with the guy after you broke up. He was letting you know he's not available to you relationship-wise, but he was sussing out whether or not you'd be okay with a hookup. That's why the touching you and invading your personal space, the compliments and flattery.

 

The guy wants to get laid. He is very clear about not wanting a relationship with you though. Your call if you want to just have a roll in the hay with an ex or leave it alone.

 

You really think he wants to get laid? I'm the one doing most of the contact until now. And it seems like it begins to be quite serious with the girl he's dating... As I understood it when I meet him about a month ago, he kind of wants to be in a relationship with her but she's the one who want to take it slow. Although, they have been dating for like 6 months. And I think the may be exclusive. I think it maybe more his way of beeing polite..? I mean he and his date goes to dinner on restaurants and stuff like that..

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