7 years obsessed, how do I forget him?

I have been obsessed with this guy for the last 7 years. It's beyond my control. While he has had 3 gf's in that period of time, I have had no one. I am 25 and feeling so down and lost as I realise how pointless and wasteful my life has been with this obsession

 

I don't know why I am obsessed with him. I mean I don't even know him that well, just have spoken to him a couple of times. I carry on my life as normal as I can, and look happy from the outside but 24/7 I am thinking about him.

 

I regularly check his FB( we are not friends on this) just to see has he changed his profile pic etc ( I know how pathetic lol)

 

Maybe the reason I have been obsessed with him for so long is due to the fact I don't get much attention from guys at all and I'm 5 stone overweight.

 

 

Anyone know how do I get over this? I realise this is not normal behaviour (to be this obsessed about someone that I have had hardly any interaction with for this length of time) I really want to get help. The worst part is, I get the impression every time I'm near him and his friends that they are laughing at me, looking at me like ' there's that crazy girl that is obsessed with you'

 

Even though this is very strange behaviour from my part, it is the only weird personality trait that I have.

 

I really want to get over this though, but I don't know how. I am heartbroken that I feel this way about him. Can someone please give me good advice?

 

Thanks in advance

Here's a link on "limerence" that I think you should read, maybe if you know what ails you, you'll do the right thing and arrange personal therapy to help you over-come your obsession.

 

In the meantime, put an elastic band on your wrist and when you start OCD thinking on him, snap the band and consciously change the subject to something else other then him... like on your hobbies, your friends, your favorite book... anything but him.

 

Here's the link on Limerence.

 

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The link on limerance is good. Therapy or counseling could help. So could taking the time and energy you use on obsessing over him and putting that to turning your life around, getting healthy--i.e. I'm not advocating you do anything bad to yourself to make you lose weight, but just focus on your health--and stop creeping his FB page. In fact, block it and if need be step away from the computer. It sounds like this isn't maybe so much an obsession as it is a way to waste time focusing on something, anything else, but your own life. And that's what you need to stop. Your life will not get better regardless of whether he's in it or not. Also every time you waste any time on him it's time you won't get back--do you really want to look back and say to yourself, "I could have gotten healthy, I could have had a career, I could have traveled, I could have done a million other things besides staring at some stranger's FB page all the time and focusing on him."

 

Focus on yourself instead, lavish the attention you give him on to yourself, see a therapist if you need that extra hand or voice to help you do so. And Thatwasthen has some excellent suggestions too.

Honestly I would go speak to a therapist about this. They would be able to help more than anyone here.

Thank you so much for replying I agree that I will look back in years to come and realise that I did indeed waste so much time on him. Would that elastic band really help? I checked his FB last night again, how nuts am I?? I will try today going forward not to check it ever again.

 

Also thanks for that link, I will read it after I post this.

 

I am just terrified I am going to end up all alone, with no kids and no career to show for it ( just to point out I quit my job 2 months ago, it was soul destroying and the management were all over the place) so I am currently looking for work which is a nightmare.

 

I agree with the comment about putting my energy into losing weight and becoming healthier. I have started today and I plan on sticking to it this time around.

 

It's sad because 7 years of thinking of him comes so naturally to me now and I really need to stop this. But I don't know how. I suppose I thought he fancied me when I was younger, and I always thought we would get married. Maybe the fact that I don't get much attention is the reason why I have obsessed with him? God I am pathetic.

 

Also I cannot afford to go to a counsellor so that options out the window.

 

I just really want to get better, I don't know how though

Also I cannot afford to go to a counsellor so that options out the window.

Go and see your personal doctor and ask him about options. You have OCD thinking about this guy and there maybe something that he can suggest that will help you overcome. As for creeping his facebook page. It's like quitting smoking. You will NEVER quit if you keep having a drag off of that cigarette. You need to do cold-turkey withdrawl and a little help from your family doc to keep you on the right track isn't going to hurt either. Tell him what you've told us and go do something else when you get the urge to look longingly upon his two dimentional image over at facebook.

Thanks, haha two dimensional image, again makes me realise how pathetic I am.

 

I really don't want to go to my doctor, I would rather find an alternative solution. Especially for the time being.

 

I agree cold turkey is defo the way to go