So, I'm confused....

The woman I have been with for a little bit now has randomly came out of nowhere and called me manipulative and that I walk all over her. This all spawned from me mistakenly double booking on a day we were supposed to hang out. I explained the mistake, but she accused me of being manipulative and such.

Here's the kicker...

The chick has cheated on me, lied to me and said I did something that, out of blue, has caused her to not trust me, accuse me of a victimizing personality, and to say all this other bs.

But, if you want to know the worst things I have done...stay home when we made plans because I was tired as hell from work so I had money to pay bills and some extra so I could take her out every now and again. Also, the fact that she cheated and her solution to it was for us to just "drop it" and if I wanted to be with her, then I should just be with her.

Fast Forward...

Here's the thing, I'm a quiet, artistic, and analytical guy. I'm honest and would never mislead a friend, family member, or a close one into a dangerous set of mind or physical pain. I think, a lot of it, is her trying to assassinate my character. I've explained everything to her, but when I mention the things she did it was a generic answer, or it would be hot potato and thrown back at me.

The Plan...

Okay, so here's what I think and am confident is what's going on. She blows up over a minor mistake, but says it's a recurrent thing, and get this, even says "t just seems like something you don't have to offer." Came at me like I was on a job interview. Moving on...but anytime I question the accusations, it's "You really don't understand me..." "It doesn't even matter at this point" "I need to be around people who are excited to see me, and care about me..." aka since I'm not nailing backflips on a tight rope to stroke her ego (which mine was derailed after her cheating and coming up with lame excuses on why we couldn't be together at random to hide the new dude from me, and have a story for him.)

So, I think she's trying to assassinate my character and tell herself that to justify her actions (She avoided me for almost a week when I reached out to her so we could talk) and to gain support from her friends and back up her decision (Her friends only know what she tells them about me since I'm not ever around them). So, my character is being buried to my face even though she knows its not true, its probably being buried to her friends (exploiting the fact her friends and I don't know each other personally), and labeling me with, when applied to me, just arnt true...but when applied to her...see what I'm saying?

I know it's time to let it go, I just really love the woman, she wasn't all bad, but for me...I'm more upset that someone that has known me for that long would go that far to paint me in a faux bad light. Just to justify she left me for someone else and seems to be burying me to make herself appear to be a victim.

I guess, what I want to know, is how do you handle people like that? Someone who tries to manipulate your own view of yourself, like they're doing THEM SELF for a cheap reason (not wanting to admit their wrongdoing and wear their title as a victimizer)?

I get where you're coming from. The people that matter will see right through her.

>>The chick has cheated on me, lied to me and said I did something that, out of blue, has caused her to not trust me, accuse me of a victimizing personality,

I stopped right there and didn't read the rest. She lies, she cheats, and she's verbally abusive. Why are you even with the woman. I would break up with her and not look back. If she tries to stir up trouble with other people, you just say, 'she's a liar and a cheat and angry that I dumped her for that, so don't believe her because it is just sour grapes.'

Yup, she is trying to find ways to make you the pig so she can feel better about herself for cheating on you.

You may love this woman a lot but clearly your love isn't good enough for her.

The other thing is the trust between you two have been damaged because of her cheating ways, it will be very hard to gain back...

Thanks guys and gals.

Update...

I went over there after work the other day. You know how it goes, anxious to get out of work, time comes, you hop in the car, bring the car to life, and drive...and your heart begins beating at a rhythm that resembles that of an fully auto AR-15.

So, I make it there and tell her that I don't agree with you on what happened but I have to give you what you want. The relationship failed, I love you extremely, but I don't really have a choice in this.

And the weirdest thing happened...

She started telling me how she loved me and how hard it is to let someone go that's been apart of your life for so long...

and then...

she asked if she could contact me now and again cause she's always gonna "worry" aka "wonder" about me (this is the woman that convinced herself i didnt care about her, was manipulative, and walked all over her. She even mentioned how I'd FIND SOMEONE ELSE and wouldn't talk to her when she did contact me.)

I think that she wasn't expecting me to let it go because when I was defending myself (a few days prior when I met her) and how I felt about her she just cried and mentioned how stressed she was and how I'm a bad person.

She then hit me up today to say "Just so you know, this sucks..." aka the clean up your favorite raunchy/offensive comedian does at the end of a very aggressive performance so know one in the audience is waiting for them in the parking lot with a louisville slugger.

Look, I know she left me for someone else, even know of the guy...even hinted that I knew. But in the end, someone I was with for years threw me under the blame bus for another. Def something I cannot go back to, could never let someone else question myself when they're still trying to find them self.