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He has been emailing a lot


Rainbow1

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I'm feeling a bit confused about my recent break-up. I can't say a bad word about my ex because I know he has a good heart, and he's very open and honest with me about his feelings. But he does have issues, largely stemming from a trauma he went through and only just recovered from a couple years ago.

 

When we were breaking up, despite the passion and love that was still very much present, the problem was that he feels overwhelming pressure being in the relationship because i'm out doing all these things and he can't keep up with it all, he's not ready yet to keep up with me. He sees life a bit like that even with respect to his career, sports, everything. He feels he has to measure up to people around him. My guess is that it's because he's not happy with himself. He also gets jealous of me and other men, if I show the slightest bit of attention / act too friendly, he gets offended.

 

I suggested some time apart while he sorts his issues out and feels more content, because neither of us wanted to lose the relationship, but the fights were getting too much. But he wasn't convinced of this as he felt it would leave him in limbo, and that he would then wonder what i'm up to during this 'space' and wouldn't like to think about me seeing other people. So he said 'this hurts like hell but let's go on a clean break- just block me as I can't let go otherwise'.

 

I then blocked him but he's emailed since. It's been a week. I am pretty sure the emails will stop now as I decided not to respond to the last one. He just writes about his reflections on the relationship and reflects on himself. But he agreed that staying in touch prolongs the pain. But in his last one he also wrote: 'we will see each other in the future, I am sure of that, but in better circumstances'. This line confused me because it just sounds as if he is opting for what i suggested in the first place - ie. some time apart. But telling me he wants a clean break means the mental and emotional process I go through is going to be extremely different, so i dont know now whether to go through that or not.

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