Can I Ever Trust Someone Again?

Out of the blue, my boyfriend decided he wasn't happy with me anymore after eighteen months. He just dumped me and was mean about it.

I have a very good job, I'm 28 and keep in great shape.

When we first started dating I made him wait to hang out and we texted for 2 months. Then I gave him a chance.

Like all of us, I was scared to give my heart away, but I did and it got stomped on. I don't know what to do and I feel like this event will hinder my trust completely andI'll be incapable of being in another relationship, even if I decideIwant to be.

What should I do? Can I ever trust again?

Up to you. If you want to let this breakup defeat you it will.

More realistically you heal and get back out there and try again.

The first time I ever posted on ena asking for advice was the exact same question. Exact same.

Anyway, I don't know what happened to Edmund Exely but he was the first to reply, & was a valuable member on here. I really miss him. He told me 2 people make plans all the time but for one reason or another it does not come to fruition. That does not mean you cannot trust again. Same to you.

It doesn't matter if you're a good catch, in terms of your ex boyfriend, as you may not be his particular type of fish there is nothing wrong with that.

I'm a bit tired, sorry I can't give you more info but you should read my very first thread on here. This is kind of freaky as it was the exact same thing I asked & also lead to me creating this username. I'm completely healed now & if you want my version on how I got through it just pm me, although it took me a long time & I didn't follow the norms of healing, I still healed.

Of course you can trust again.

it will happen again. and you will fall in love again.

it may or may not work out the next time.

but that doesnt matter. You grow and learn in the process, and eventually you find someone who clicks.

part of the journey, dont let this bother you at all. You will be great. let time heal you

Hi, I have been in a very similar situation. My ex-girlfriend, of one and a half years, broke up with me out of the blue and then just treated like everything is normal but also started treating me pretty badly because I tried to defend my pride and make her feel guilty for being disrespectful and flaky. I was kind of like you after. I wasn't able to trust women so easily anymore; however, after a bit of self-healing and self-therapy, I accepted the breakup and use it as my strength instead of punishing myself. Since the breakup, I have recovered really quickly because I never tried to hurt myself or make myself believe that she was the only one that could make me happy. I never begged her to come back, and I don't want her to come back. She made her decision without consulting me, broke my heart, and left me for another person.

So my word of advice to you is this. The worst thing a guy or girl could ever do to themselves after a breakup is to punish themselves or blame themselves. They should not let one person dictate their happiness or their lives (in your case it is trust). Everyone will get hurt at some point. Though I believed my ex was the one for me, I learned that people will come in and come out of our lives until the day we die. I also believed that love isn't just a one chance of a lifetime. You will soon understand that life has more to offer, and your options will expand further beyond what you normally thought. You said you have a very good job and are in great shape, so that is very great start. What you have to do now is to accept the fact that you two broke up and that he has made his decision already. You then will have to look at what might have been the driving problems that lead to the breakup. You may not see it now but think back to any arguments or fights that have probably caused a really negative impact on the relationship. Or think back to the last time you went on a date. But most importantly, you will always want to look at yourself the most. If reasons are unclear, look at your qualities and also look at his personality and his actions while you two were together. For me, I made a list of pros and cons for both of us. And as I started typing out words, I found out a lot about the contributing factors that would have lead to the breakup. I have a lot of weaknesses that I have to address. She also had her share of weaknesses that she needs to address as well. When two people try to ignore them, are oblivious to them, or are just too comfortable and settled in the relationship, then there is bound to be some conflict that will arise. I learned LOTS from it and also started improving myself in terms of career, personality, and also how I deal with situations.

Relationships will come and go. You will also live and learn many things that will result from them whether or not you are still in the relationship or not. Give it time. If you have trouble with dealing with your ex, I suggest NC at all. Remove his number from your phone and put away anything that would remind you of him. Remove him from social networking sites as well. It might hurt a lot but understand that you are not doing yourself a favor by constantly being reminded of him. Go out with your friends and exercise more since you are in great shape. Advance in your career path and focus on primarily yourself and make yourself happy. Then, when you are starting to date again (once you've accepted the breakup and maybe months later when you have really focused on yourself) then you will start to see your options expand. What did you want from your ex-partner before that you do in your new potential partner? What will you two do differently? Find someone who won't fall for you at the drop of a hat and try to get into your pants because most likely that guy is really insecure and weak or just wants to get laid. It will take a bit of soul searching, but I know you will be able to do it. Take your time on it. Don't rush the healing process, but do try to remain out of contact with your ex as soon as you can. Good luck.

Hey i'm in a similar situation i keep thinking i will never trust again they way he played me but only you can give the answer to that question ..with me i opened up my heart and soul to him and he seemed considerate and understanding but he did broke my heart and my trust as well.My advice is what i'm giving to myself give myself time to heal and if and when the rite person comes along i will give them a chance because remember not every one is the same just because one man messed u up doesn't mean the rest will as well.Like i tell myself i will trust but wont be naive and also i will keep myself prepared that this might end sometimes we want things last forever but remember what's meant to be will always find its way towards you.

Hi, thanks all for the response. Since this just happened, this forum is very healing and everyone was spot on.

Tmp171014a, I did remove him from all social media, delete his numbers and pictures. I also am resisting the urge to contact him. AT ALL, PARTICULALY because he broke up with me over the phone. I didn't mention in my original post that we were about to move in together after he's been begging me to move in his house for a year and I finally caved. I take care of my mom and I set up a whole new apartment for her and out a down payment.

But this goes to show he's not worthy.