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Ex Girlfriend Wants Me To "Move On"


SF1212

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We were together for 6 years, lots of ups and downs. We took a break, she would pull me back in, and when I would buckle, she would throw me away. I do still love her and care about her. 2 months ago she was saying how much she missed me, and then I find out from a friend that she is dating someone else. I texted for a drink, and she told me she didnt want to hurt me, and that I still feel a connection to us when I should be moving on and trying to heal. In reality I know its a rebound, and she just "moved on" to another guy, not really dealing with anything - you cant get over a 6 year relationship in 2 months. Any advice on how to move on, or try and get her back?

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We were together for 6 years, lots of ups and downs. We took a break, she would pull me back in, and when I would buckle, she would throw me away. I do still love her and care about her. 2 months ago she was saying how much she missed me, and then I find out from a friend that she is dating someone else. I texted for a drink, and she told me she didnt want to hurt me, and that I still feel a connection to us when I should be moving on and trying to heal. In reality I know its a rebound, and she just "moved on" to another guy, not really dealing with anything - you cant get over a 6 year relationship in 2 months. Any advice on how to move on, or try and get her back?

 

 

Yes, I have some advice for you. You two have a long history so you have that in your favor. She once loved you and can again. You now know how she moves, she comes to you and when you come to her she pulls back. Do you think you could be coming on too strong? It is better to ease your way back in very slowly with this type of person. First thing is first. You MUST respond to her and say "You are absolutely right. We had something great, but I agree it is time to move on." She is seeing this guy not married to him. I would not give him a second thought and I DEFINITELY would not ask about him to her or anyone else. Give her about 3 weeks of space and shoot her a nice text with no pressure. A friendly text. "Hey just checking in on ya. How ya been?" In your words of course. Absolutely NO I love you's, no I miss you's. No can we try and fix this. NOTHING. Even if one day she comes and says those things to you, your must respond saying "I don't know about that, I am not sure it will work. Let's move slow." It is not playing games, it is taking control of your emotions when it comes to her. You must begin hanging out and regaining your confidence. She said what she said today, but who is to say what she will say a few weeks from now. Number 1 is for you not to come on strong AT ALL. Not even one time because she will bolt. It seems she is looking for a nice, easy, fun loving relationship. How could you deny her such fun?

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Anything you do, any contact you have will be perceived by her as chasing her...don't do it. It will only push her further away from you in to his arms more. The best thing you can do is NEVER initiate contact with her. If she contacts you, keep it short and friendly, friendly but not friends...never bring up the past and always be the one who ends the conversation first after just a few texts or minutes.."been great catching up, keep in touch."

 

Re-engage your hobbies, passions, friends, work, excercise, etc...work on you, bring the focus solely to you. Date when the time is right. You move forward as if it is over for good. Don't agree to friendship with her-- it will never work and will only delay your healing. If she asks for it state that you are not interested in being just friends. Your words and actions must be congruent.

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After 6 years....and several break ups...it isn't a rebound. It is simply moving on. Rebounds are generally dumpers looking for another quick fix. The dumper has disconnected before the break up and is simply ready for a new relationship.

 

Well she didnt really disconnect before the relationship ended, when it did end, she would called me in the middle of the night, text me, email me, etc. She would even question if the relationship was the best thing to do. And ctually I was the one that said we needed space, she was the one that wanted to keep it. Once someone showed her a little affection, she jumped in his arms and just "moved on"

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In order to end the relationship... She disconnected. Because she expressed uncertainty after leaving ---which would be expected after 6 years...was because she was adjusting to being alone. And her new relationship is because....she doesn't like being alone.

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Haven’t checked this in a bit, but she imed me basically saying that she wants no relationship with me as friends or otherwise. After that I told her that I didn’t want it either because she is a selfish person that literally only cares about herself. Told her not to call, email or write me and I will not do the same. I am done – time to get up and move on. You know you had too much when you had enough.

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