Trying to cope..

My 3 year relationship ended a few days ago. It ended for a variety of reasons, some main ones included him not being able to compromise or talk about problems in a mature manner. I am 22 and he is 27, and I have always been more mature for my age and also have been in serious relationships before. He had one relationship back in high school that was serious but nothing again before dating me. I think I just expected him being older meant he was more mature but that just wasnt the case, and the friends he was surrounded by were still trying to live in their college days. I guess I am really just trying to vent here. I feel it was definitely the best thing to happen, but it still hurts right now. I feel like he did not even try to mature or grow, which makes me see how much he did not care. That is why I dont know why I care so much, I want to just be over feeling this way. The cons honestly outweigh the pros but I am still sitting here sad and missing him. Is this just something that really gets easier with time?

My daughter is aged 28 and her partner of 5 years is the same age. Their relationship has just ended because he did not want marriage / kids etc and she did. She saw all her friends getting married and having babies and felt like she was missing out. Infact it was my daughter who ended the relationship. That was 2 weeks ago and yes, it still hurts, yes she misses him like crazy, yes she still loves him... BUT she knows she has to stay strong in order to get what she deserves in this life. She will not accept second best AND neither should you. Good luck... its a long and painful journey, but you will arrive at where you are meant to be.

It will get easier with time. Yes.

He's not taking his life seriously, and still wants to play like a teenager. You are taking life seriously, and want to do something with yourself. Focus on that. Your twenties is the time to set yourself up for life - with your career, your lifestyle, and to practice dating until you find someone worthy enough to be a good husband and father.

You said that he doesn't care because he won't grow up, or try to. Please don't do that to yourself. It's not your job to help him grow up, and it's not a reflection on you if he doesn't grow up. It simply means he wants to play, and you want more than that (from him, from life). Some people have clearly defined goals, and some people just flail around, vaguely hoping things fall into place someday. Things very rarely fall into place without clear goals.

Keep your eye on the prize, which is the life you want for the next 60-80 years. You did the right thing, but of course it's still sad. You cared for this person for 3 years. You had hopes and dreams. Now that you've accepted that those won't come true with him, you've given yourself the best possible gift - the opportunity to fulfill those hopes and dreams with someone who wants the same things as you AND is willing to work for them.

Brava!

For now, when the sadness comes, remind yourself of who you are, what you want, and where you are heading. Remind yourself that you deserve better, and you will have better. Don't scold yourself for caring. You've done one of the most adult things possible - you cared about someone, and let them go anyway when you realized they were not the right person for you.