Not sure what she wants, CONFUSED!!!

Hi guys, so me and my girlfriend of 5 years have been broken up for a little over 3 months she left me for another guy, she did not cheat i am %100 on that, she had no real reason for leaving other then a new guy came into the picture started to show her attention while i was at work and she was at volleyball, i made all the mistakes i think every guy does in the beginning the first week at least then i went into low contact then after a month started talking to her again and we got to talking i told her i cant just be friends while she was dating another guy took her out to breakfast a few times and lunch, she sad the new bf new, but i doubt it. so after talking to her for a month i went cold turkey and have not talked to her for about a week now. she has been sending me pictures of her crying saying "i cant take this anymore" and " why wont you talk to me" pictures of hand written notes that she is sorry for everything! she has called my dad, my brother ,my bestfriend trying to get a hold of me, i am not sure if she wants me back or what have no idea what my next move should be, i love this girl more then anything i have more in common with her then any one i have ever met! and if she did want to get back together i would. thanks for the help everyone!

First off I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in, I can relate a lot to a previous relationship.

I am assuming your both young here? It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and instead of looking inwards for resolution she is exploding outwards looking for justification for her actions and some attention.

Your best bet is to stay is no contact all she is doing is reaching out to see if your still on the other end waiting for her. Now she realises she is losing her safety net which is you she is panicking and acting out.

Her actions are key here she left you for another guy and tried to keep you around in case it didn't work out what's to say if you got back together she wouldn't do it again.

We all set up our own expectations and values and she has violated yours. You need to stand up for yourself and think no i deserve better than this and a girl that doesn't need to look elsewhere as I'm man enough for any girl.

Basically keep in no contact and working on yourself you don't want to set yourself up for the fallback guy where she knows she can do whatever she wants and you'll be there for her, actions have consequences my friend and this isn't love.

If you want to put your mind at ease about her trying to get you back AND stand up for yourself at the same time, so she's not using you as a backburner guy then you do this: You send her one text stating, "If you are no longer with new guy and you want to get back together then contact me. Otherwise let me go to heal and move on. And stop trying to drag my family and friends into it. You chose him over me, and that means you don't get to have me there to comfort you when things go wrong with him. You own your choices and your mistakes. Good luck, I hope you find happiness, but I need to heal and can't be your emotional blanket at this time. P.S. If you decide to come back and I've moved on with someone else than that's a chance we both have to take. I'm not waiting for you, just wanted to put this all on the table now rather than later. So I repeat, do not contact me about anything unless it's getting back together and you have broken up with new guy. All other correspondence will be deleted and if I findout you lied I'm deleting and blocking you, just so you understand."

And then you send that and you enforce it. I know it may be not what you want to hear, but what she's doing is trying to have two guys for the price of one. And you have to ask yourself, as much as you love this girl, if you really want someone in your life who is that easily swayed. You will always be working, you should, and if she has so little of a life that attention from a guy will cause her to break up with you then is that someone you really want in your life? Really?

You need to take the rose-colored glasses off, because that doesn't sound like the kind of girl any guy would really want by his side. Fickle, bored easily, lies to you and the new guy, switches allegiances over nothing more than a bit of attention, tries to manipulate your family and friends to advocate for her "side of things" even though she's left you for someone new and has no right to do so, wants the guy she dumped to still be there for her while she's out having fun with someone new.

These are not desirable traits in anyone, let alone a significant other. Stay NC

Thanks, for the help guys means a lot and we are both young she is 22 and i am 24, i just hope that if she does decide to come back down the road, this whole incident scared her enough to never think about it again.