Jump to content

Unsure and mabey not


male2008

Recommended Posts

Hi

 

So a quick recap. Started dating a girl about year and half ago.

The relationship started from first date.

 

It was suppose to be just a booty call. Cause I was moving from the village that we lived in.

We started seeing each other everyday and it was really nice and comfortable.

 

I´m setting up 3 companies. 1 is a long term thing very stop and go. 1 is up and running will be cash flow positive soon and the last one is just getting financed.

 

I moved back to town and we decided to keep seeing each other on the weekends and kept that going for about 4 months. Then last Christmas she moved in with me.

The relationship has been fine since then. But not exciting in anyway just really comfortable.

 

The problem is in the last couple of months I have been very unsure about us.

She is 12 years younger then me. Im 33 she is 21.

We are having problems but none BIG ones. Just I buy the food, I cook, I clean.

Also I had to get her a job when she moved here cause she was to nervous to apply for one.

She just started school as well here in town.

 

But its also we don't really have common interests, She dose not share my ambitions in the gym or outside.

But she is really supportive, she is pretty and a really nice girl.

 

But I kind of feel tired of being the one to take care of everything and plan, cause she dosnt think about these things. (her age a big factor)

Also I´m so busy with work and I go to the gym 5x a week. She stays at home if she dosent have classes and watches friends all day.

She will stay in bed and home for 2 day´s watching tv shows and not see her friends that live here in town or do anything.

 

I don't feel that we are compatible and also I feel more and more like I wanna be single and do what I want to do.

It´s also Im tired of taking care of everything. She will eat noodles and not think about buying food.

 

But Im afraid that I might regret losing her, I have had a lot of gf so I know finding a good one is easier said then done.

I´m also afraid of dumping her cause she keeps saying "don't dump me when you become rich because you want a prettier wife"

I mean she is a good girl, good heart and sweet. She is pretty as well.

 

But I dont feel excited and I have talked to her about all of this. Except the part about breaking up.

 

I also feel scared of becoming single. I'm a poor entrepreneur with promising businesses. I would have to move to my dads while I find my feet.

 

But I also feel like I should be more excited, I know that relationships don't always stay in the honeymoon stage but end in a more friend-place.

But I feel like I never went to the honeymoon stage and the whole thing kind of happened because it was comfortable.

 

So advice would be really good.

 

I kind of over the last weeks been on the side of need to break up. But I'm also afraid that maybe I'm making a mistake.

But also I´m just not excited by our relationship, I´m not challenged in it and I´m tired of being the caretaker. I tend to fall in the caretaker role.

 

So plz any advice.

 

Thank you

Link to comment

I think you've pretty much got your answer already - you think she's nice and pretty, but you're not crazy about her, she's just OK. Why are you scared of being alone, you're not old and if you go to the gym so much you must be fit? I'm sure you can find someone else. If this girl is nice and cares for you then maybe do the right thing and break it off with her before you lead her on and hurt her even more. Plus it's true, you are a lot older than her and she may not reach your stage of life for a very long time.

Link to comment

I agree with Tinydance. Not to mention, you knew from the moment you met her there were no sparks. Don't drag this out anymore than you already have. You have a lot more to lose in the long run than you do now. Also she's 21, this is a crucial time for her to find herself.

 

Even though she's a nice girl, she seems pretty lazy and for someone who likes to stay fit I'd be worried. Imagine where she would be at 33 or after kids! Personally, I like to stay fit and I wouldn't want to be with someone who's not trying to stay in shape. Especially if there's no chemistry and only attraction.

 

It's hard to leave your comfort zone but the best things in life are usually the unexpected spontaneous ones.

 

Good luck

Link to comment
Jesus Christ I cant do it, Im nervous about it and afraid of ending alone and this being a huge mistake but I feel like I need to do it.

 

lol You really have to pull yourself together. You're 33, in the process of setting up 3 companies and you're telling yourself you cant break up with a 21 yr old that you never meant to have a relationship with from the start.

 

I know you've heard the quote "You can do anything you set your mind to." Well you're currently telling yourself 'you can't, you're nervous, you think you're making a huge mistake'; so why would you be able to walk away when that's what you're setting your mind to believe. Tell yourself I'm going to do this, it needs to be done, Its for the better and you'll do just that. You can do it and you will do it when you set your mind to it.

 

I'm sure you didn't get your companies in place by waiting around and staying in your comfort zone. This isn't much different.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...