Dating after a Breakup. Where do I go from here?

(Ex) Boyfriend and I have been on and off for a couple of years now since we went to college together. We have recently broken up over something I feel could have been easily talked out but he takes things from 0-100 and seems to run every time there is a problem between us. The night we got into an argument I said that I deserved better which I do and I know I do but I was meaning to say I needed him to do better. I feel like he is extremely selfish and is always wanting to do things on his time, his way and when it is convenient for him and I am the complete opposite. I go out of my way to make sure he is taken care of and although I don't say it because I wouldn't want to ever throw it in his face, there was times where he needed help financially or emotionally and I would break my own bank knowing I had bills to pay just to make sure he was okay or to go drive 4 hours and just go be with him spending extra money on gas that I didn't have at the time. Then I go to talk to him about some of his ways that are bothering me and he hangs up in my face and because I said that I deserved better I figure that's why the next text he sent me was " You made your decision.. It's best we just move on. I have other things to worry about" . This is how it always is.. He just shuts down and won't talk to me or respond to me and then I stop trying and a month or a month and a half goes by and I get a message or a call from him and all of a sudden he wants to talk. I don't get it at all he says he is in love with me and says all this stuff when things are good between us and then he can just easily leave like that and thinks it is okay to just come in and out as he pleases. I know part of that is my fault though because I allow him to come back into my life. I always try to fix something but I now see this can't be fixed and the emotions I am going through is hard to deal with. I feel like I lost not only a man I love so very much but my best friend. When things are good.. they are so good we have a great intellectual connection, physical and emotional but when things get bad he always leaves.

It has only been a week and no I am not crying my eyes out anymore I am now having days where I wake up feeling like everything is going to be okay but days like today where I realize I can't call him up and just talk and laugh with him are hard. Then I have another man who I have known for years and is a really good man wanting to take me out on a date but my heart is still heavy and I still think of my ex constantly. Do I just go or do I stay and wait till I am completely over him? What if I miss out on an opportunity for happiness because I am stuck sitting here wondering if my ex is still thinking about me or if he even cares? I know I can't sit here and sulk for the rest of my life but I just don't know how to pick myself up right now. Any advice would be great. Thank you!

Don't ever compromise your integrity nor who you are. You do deserve better and this specific individual is not only "selfish" but immature and emotionally abusive.

It is going to take some time but you need to distance yourself from this individual, take lots of time to vent, recover and return to the dating scene. And when you do, do not accept a man who treats you as poor as this individual".

In addition, don't forget the following: "the best indicator or future behavior is past behavior"; therefore, don't forget the history which you both share, just in case you decide to re unite with this individual. If so, history will repeat.....

Wow, this is like EXACTLY what I'm going through.

I'll be honest with you, I sort of sound like your ex bf when thinking about my most recent relationship. My ex loved me with all her heart, but I was a total jerk to her doing some of the same things your ex did. Look to put it bluntly, the man sounds very selfish. Your relationship sounds very lopsided, just do yourself a favor and move on. It hurts for me to admit this, but this might be a rude awakening for him and might help him grow as a man and mature some. When my ex moved on with another man after I broke up with her (again it really destroyed her) it tore me apart because of all the pain I caused her and the guilt over not being more loving and compassionate with her. You're in college, focus on yourself and your career goals, maybe along the way you'll meet an amazing guy, maybe not. Being single and lonely is better than being in a long term toxic relationship that only leaves both parties emotionally drained. You owe it to yourself, focus on your happiness first above all.

" Then I have another man who I have known for years and is a really good man wanting to take me out on a date but my heart is still heavy and I still think of my ex constantly. Do I just go or do I stay and wait till I am completely over him? What if I miss out on an opportunity for happiness because I am stuck sitting here wondering if my ex is still thinking about me or if he even cares? I know I can't sit here and sulk for the rest of my life but I just don't know how to pick myself up right now."

- No. I suggest you do NOT look at getting involved again, any time soon until you KNOW you are over your Ex.

Or you could end up in a rebound relationship. You won't be able to emotionally or mentally give in a new relationship yet.

You have some accepting and healing to do first. I suggest at least a good 6 months. To get yourself grounded again and know that you're okay, happy and able to get on with your life again.

- From now on avoid ALL interactions re: the Ex bf. No contact, no texting, following etc.

- Start working on healing by taking care of YOU now. Get rest, get out n about, get some air. Go see family/friends.

Can be an idea to get a journal going.. vent it out.

-Just give it all time. One cannot remove someone they had in their life in a week. Takes a bit of time to accept the changes.

Thank you all for your advice it does mean more to me than you all know. I've cancelled my date and explained to him I am just not ready and it is way too soon and he completely understands. I am healing right now and I just need to surround myself with friends and family and journaling is a great idea! I just hope I can stand strong in the months coming but then again maybe he won't come back like he normally does and I will not have to worry about it.