What happened?

So my boyfriend of 4 months just told me his is not breaking up with me but he needs space. Let me give some background. I am really good friends with his mom who I met as a previous coworker. So I had known him almost a year before we dated. He does have 2 ex wives which he has children by both. They text him all the time and he responds back saying its all about the kids. That's an issue for me because as much as he's in his phone they must have A LOT to say about the kids. I also have a son. I asked him in the beginning was he sure he was ready for a relationship because I suggested he needed to stay single for a while. He assured me he was ready and he always felt a connection with me. He had been talking about marriage, a house, and us having a baby together and everything. He is also bipolar and not on his meds. He has gone ghost on me before where I couldn't get up with him for a day or so where he didn't communicate with me at all. I feel like with this space he was trying to use me as a placeholder while he tried to be single. I broke it off because it's not fair for me to be in limbo. It hurts so badly though. I don't understand what happened. Has anyone ever had a bipolar bf not on meds? Is this normal? Did I do the right thing?

It doesn't matter if he is bipolar or not...on his meds or not. He is backing away from the relationship and you were right to break it off.

It just hurts. I don't understand him going out of his way to paint this picture and when I left everything was fine then a couple of hours later needing space. What does that mean?

It just hurts. I don't understand him going out of his way to paint this picture and when I left everything was fine then a couple of hours later needing space. What does that mean?

It means that if he is diagnosed bipolar he has a very difficult condition in which things will never truly make sense to others, which is why you don't understand. No one really could.

Its really in your best interest to move on.

I'm going to try. I'm a nurturer. I work in the medical field. It's hard to walk away. I guess I need to find a way to love me more.

It means that if he is diagnosed bipolar he has a very difficult condition in which things will never truly make sense to others, which is why you don't understand. No one really could.

 

Its really in your best interest to move on.

I agree, it's very difficult to understand someone who is bipolar and not being treated. His behavior will be erratic. I am really sorry. Until he tries to get his disease under control, I'm not sure how you (or anyone) can have a healthy relationship with him.

At four months this relationship is way too new to be putting up with this much drama. You rightly sensed he is not up to a full-on committed relationship and his backing away is him realizing he's not ready after all. Distance yourself and move on, this guy is indeed not relationship material. And no, I have kids with an ex too, we aren't texting all the time. In fact, we barely talk at all outside of once a month via phone or email to review things and/or work out who is going to pay for what and when and where to have him come see the kids or them go to him. And that takes 10 minutes at most.

Sorry, this guy is not relationship material no matter what he says or has said to you. And I think this would be an issue regardless of him being bipolar or not.