No Contact over drug use?

I posted about this before, but I'm still very confused on how to proceed.

Even though I broke up with my ex, I feel like I am the one dumped. After five years together, I discovered that he has been hiding and lying to me about a pill addiction. This has been going on roughly six months. I at first told him I would support him through it, but he lied to me again. I ended it when I found out, but I really had no idea this was happening. It's just such a shock!

He keeps coming after me promising that he's going through rehab and everything will change. I don't believe him anymore. However, of course, if he got clean and stopped lying, I would love to have our old relationship back. I just don't know how to trust him again. He did start seeing an addiction counselor and went through a two week detox. But I can't trust that he is sticking with it.

I have initiated No Contact. I figure the best shot we have is for him to really feel life without me for 60 days. Maybe it will motivate him to stay clean. It'll also give me some clarity, as I'm still in shock and completely heartbroken. Hopefully when we talk again, he'll be 60 days clean.

Is NC helpful or hurtful? I'm torn between wanting to help and support him, but knowing that this isn't my battle and he needs to do it for himself. I hope NC will be a "rock bottom" for him, and he will clean up. What do I do in the meantime? I just am in so much pain.

"Hopefully when we talk again, he'll be 60 days clean"

- Yes, but would your trust have returned? Do you think it ever will?

NC is to be helpful for YOU. And yes, for him as well to see what it's like to live w/out you.. BUT, you do know how hard it is, for some to kick their habits. Some addictions, they just can't beat, sadly

" I would love to have our old relationship back. I just don't know how to trust him again. He did start seeing an addiction counselor and went through a two week detox"

-Yes, would be great if he'd be 60 days clean...

In the meantime, you deal with YOU. How about trying some therapy and say you are having trouble with trust in him and why. (even have both of you try therapy- if you do go back together..)

you could also look up something like addictions, NA, etc. to try and understand all of this.

Thank you for your advice. I understand NC is for me too.

I've been trying to better myself but honestly, I just want to curl up and cry.

He keeps texting me that he's x amount of days clean, in an outpatient rehab, he's so sorry to do this to us, he misses me and loves me, he will do anything to earn my trust back and let me drug test him, etc

This is all what I want to hear but I have stuck to NC. I guess I'm just not ready to believe it matters yet? I'm not sure exactly what I'm waiting for.

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