Trying to make sense of it all

Sigh. Just trying to make sense of this all. I'm driving myself crazy trying to understand but it's just making me depressed and anxious.

Some background, I was in a kinda whirlwind romance, you could say. Everything happened so fast. Faster than usual. But from the get go, I honestly felt different with this guy. I never felt that feeling with anybody, and it scared me how fast things were progressing. I've been hurt pretty bad before, and I've been cautious who I've opened myself up to. I trusted this guy, and I shared things with him I've never told anybody. I felt like I knew him forever. I opened myself up to be loved for the first time in years. I'm a pretty level-headed person and not impulsive at all so this was all new to me.

Two weeks ago, he finally expressed he had fallen in love with me. I told him I loved him too. And it's the first time I truly felt that I meant it when I said it. He asked me in that moment if I meant it, and I said I did. Ever side then he's been so distant. I haven't seen him since then. He won't commit to plans. Now he said he is doing doctors without borders and leaving the country for who knows how long.

I keep replaying every conversation in my head. I keep wondering what happened and what could have changed. Why has he decided to ignore me and disappear?

Today I finally emailed him and basically said I felt like we weren't on the same page anymore, and it's ok if we aren't. I said if we aren't just let me know so I can move on. And still no response.

I've had guys disappear on me before. Or do the slow fade. It sucks. You move on, but this hurts worse. I truly trusted this guy, and I thought he was genuine. If you say you love someone, this isn't how you treat them.

It's obvious over at this point, but I can't stop thinking about it. Trying to focus on the positive things in my life. Make plans with friends. Do anything, but I can't focus.

I'm trying to find an answer to a question there's no answer for. Trying to understand something where there is no understanding.

Maybe hes got someone else?? Usually when men disappear they have someone else or are looking for some new person to feed there EGO. Learn from this and never express your feeling so early on in a relationship. He got you hooked , remember words don't mean a thing , Actions due, and he surely isent following thru.

That sounds terrible and I'm sorry for what has happened.

it's really perplexing why people will walk away from relationships that they themselves will say are great. It's one thing to be left for "unsaid" reasons that are a bit more obvious but when one person makes a sudden cold decision to end things (as it seems your guy may have, but I don't want to jump to conclusions) and they themselves were one of those in favor of the relationship, it really makes you hurt, and wonder constantly. To this day, I wonder why my ex told me she loved me so many times and pretended to be so happy with me, only to leave me so suddenly. This was 2 years ago and for a while afterwards I stupidly defended her because I truly believed her, even as she was leaving me.

As mentioned by the previous poster, actions speak louder than words and while I certainly can't explain why his actions don't match his words (hopefully maybe somebody else on here has the perspective to? or he comes back to explain) I hope you get through this okay and please don't hesitate to stay in touch on ENA

Maybe hes got someone else?? Usually when men disappear they have someone else or are looking for some new person to feed there EGO. Learn from this and never express your feeling so early on in a relationship. He got you hooked , remember words don't mean a thing , Actions due, and he surely isent following thru.

While the thought of someone else crossed my mind, I don't know if he really would. I spoke openly to him about being cheated on, and he said there was never excuse that. He also said he doesn't understand it because if you aren't happy in a relationship then you should leave instead of cheating. He was also cheated on. But then again, those are all just words.

As mentioned by the previous poster, actions speak louder than words and while I certainly can't explain why his actions don't match his words (hopefully maybe somebody else on here has the perspective to? or he comes back to explain) I hope you get through this okay and please don't hesitate to stay in touch on ENA

That's what I'm trying to understand. Why his actions and words were so different lately. Honestly the only thing that makes any sense to me is that he could possibly be bipolar. While he never admitted to having bipolar disorder, he did have medicine that is commonly used to treat the disorder among other things. It's the only thing that makes any sense for his hot and cold behavior and the roller coaster ride he has put me on.