I think I had a panic attack..

Almost a week now of NC. I thought I had a handle on the break up, moving forward etc. I kept myself busy all weekend, friends are all being great to me.

But I spent the day with my parents and siblings today. When I got in the car to drive home, I suddenly just burst into tears, had tightness in my chest, shortness of breath and felt light headed.

Now I am home though I am feeling a lot better, like a huge weight has been lifted.

I have always been anxious/worry about various things, but never, ever felt anything like that before.

Hopefully that was me hitting rock bottom and things can only look up now. I text my friend (who is mutual friends with him) and told her what happened.

If it happens again, I will go and see my GP.

Yes it was a panic attack.

I experienced the same thing when my wife broke up with me. It is a mix of guilt, despair, sadness, fear of loss of someone once dear to us and fear of the future. You need to let it flow on you, make one with it, embrace it in order to let go after a while. If you feel too weak, I recommend a GP and a few pills for when it happens.

For exemple : I experienced such attack during about 2 months after the break-up and it drove my heart to litteraly constant tachycardia for 2 months. Almost had a heart attack - at 30.... So treat yourself, take care ! It will get better !

Yeah, more so it is fear of the future for me. Worried about trying to meet and get to know someone new and going through it all again.

Hopefully things will start to improve now for me. I think it was all building up to a point and now I can move on.

I know it will get better. I just have to be patient. I will look after myself. I need too!

Wow I hope you are on the mend now brotherhood. Gee that is scary, almost a heart attack at 30!

I have had a few pretty bad panic attacks earlier in my life. Each time I actually thought that I was dying because of the chest pains. But, as you've written Brotherhood, you need to know that these attacks are not actually physically harmful to you. You will not die. It helps me to know that, and if I ever feel that type of anxiety now, I try to stay as calm as I can and just breathe.

Did you both feel relief after the attacks and once you were settled again?

I just feel really calm now, like the complete opposite to what I was feeling through the day.

Yeah well, my heart rate was a constant 120 bpm back then, I was not able to sleep, eat and lost about 30 pounds in less than 3 weeks.

The only things I could do was : drink coffee and smoke cigars (about 5-6 per day...). Not a very good mix but indeed excellent for a heart attack. Spent 1 week at the hospital because of that.

When I think about this time now, I believe that I suffered so much that you really need to let this go and find help if you need to. I am now feeling really fine but it was a life-changing expérience : I worry a lot less about life now, I embrace it and I'm much more calm than before and especially when I was with my wife. I'm completely changed now. So no worries for me ^-^

Actually, I felt relief but after that but it was "thanks" to my wife : see, I called her when I was feeling extremely weak and desperate and she didn't even answer. I left her a message on voice-mail saying I just wanted to talk to her and she didn't even Listen to it. She was with her toy - boy in Montréal, too preoccupied with matters such as getting banged by him.

When finally I told her all of this in march, how I nearly had an heart attack she simply said "really ?". That was her sole answer, along with BS such as "I care about you blablabla". That's when I realized what kind of person she really is and that I suffered for losing someone who, really, didn't give a sh** about me. So I cut contact for good. And it felt fine for the first time.

Don't suffer for persons who are not worth it. They don't deserve you, nor your care and indeed nor your suffering.

Oh gosh, you really did suffer. You would have had a far longer relationship than what I had with this man. My relationship was only 6 months. But still long enough for my feelings to really take effect.

What a shame to realise how you did on what kind of person she really is. That is awful.

Well my chest feels tight today, but I feel like I am ok to get on with the day.

My friend told me I need to talk to someone professional. All I want to do is talk to him. If he does contact me or if he doesn't will show to me what type of person he really is too.

Be especially nice to yourself at this point in life. I would recommend therapy as it really helps the transition from the break-up into the normal life. I remember how awfully I felt post-break: heavy chest, headaches, panic attacks and a full-blown depression. Expect that your moods will swing like crazy because your brain is trying to process the break-up.

Eat well, go for long walks in the park, journal, read, take baths, buy smelly candles. Take care of yourself like you would of a friend who is ill. *hugs*

By the way, do not worry about meeting someone, because you will. Your fears are irrational. Just concentrate on yourself for now.

Thanks silversoul. I am going to a gym class tonight and will do all that you said. I exercise regularly, but haven't the last week or so since everything happened. Oh and I have been eating more than I have in months, so that is something at least!

I need to learn to relax and stop worrying, that is one issue.

Look for meditation/mindfulness classes in your area! Also going alone to parks has helped me. Just get on the bus and explore.

I'm planning on going to a yoga class this week, I have found that helps a great deal with my relaxation. I haven't been for ages though, so I think it's time to get back there!

I have done loads of exploring on my own when I was single, hiking etc, even spent nights away on my own. So I am not afraid to get out and about again.

Panic attacks are pretty common after a breakup. So when you have one don't despair. I've had to be put on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds after my BU. There's no harm in that if it gets to that point for you... But maybe it won't! Just know it's normal.

I have never had one before! But I feel now it was my body telling me to get into gear and start looking after myself and stop worrying about things I have no control over. I hope I don't have to ever resort to meds.

Oh gosh, you really did suffer.

Brotherhood really did suffer. But he also made it through. He is a real inspiration.

You will make it too.

I agree with your friend that maybe talking to a professional is what you really need right now. Panic attacks tend to indicate stuffed up feelings, trauma that you aren't properly processing consciously that eeks its way out of you subconsciously through those attacks. It's a sign that you need to get away from trying to talk to him (the ex) and deal with this break up in a healthier way.

Well your life was completely altered as well. But yes now is the time to put yourself first. Don't despair not everyone has to go on meds. It sounds like you're doing a good job by staying active and trying to better yourself. But there's also nothing wrong with the people who do have to go on them and it's nothing to be ashamed about. Medication doesn't take away the pain, it just helps you cope better.. I do recommend therapy like everyone else has said on here though.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I must say I am feeling better today. I think maybe the attack was me just hitting rock bottom and now I have to focus on me and not him and what happened. Wow I can't believe a 6 month relationship would have such an impact on me. I feel things are unresolved, but if that is how it is, then I have to accept that and move on.

Feeling better today, think I am on the up now. Have even been chatting to some guys via a dating site, which is helping my confidence somewhat

Brotherhood really did suffer. But he also made it through. He is a real inspiration.

 

You will make it too.

 

I agree with your friend that maybe talking to a professional is what you really need right now. Panic attacks tend to indicate stuffed up feelings, trauma that you aren't properly processing consciously that eeks its way out of you subconsciously through those attacks. It's a sign that you need to get away from trying to talk to him (the ex) and deal with this break up in a healthier way.

Well, thanks Ms Darcy, I don't forget how some of your messages also helped a lot !

You know, it has nothing to do about how long you two were together : those panic attacks are something out of your own mind and soul. May it be 6 months or 8 years like me, the process to overcome them is the same : to seek help if needed and try not to worry about life in general - maybe you're prone to experience anguish in your life in general ?

I am, or, maybe, I was. Now it's over.

Today I woke up with a racing heart and some minor chest pain. Am booked in to see the GP.

Today I woke up with a racing heart and some minor chest pain. Am booked in to see the GP.

Definitely practice yoga and meditation. This can be really helpful to you as well.

Yes I think it will be. Will see what the doctor says. I really hope she doesn't put me on any meds. That would be a last resort for me.

It's the nights I feel worse, not sleeping well. But during the day while I am at work etc keeping my mind busy isn't so bad.

It will get better... look into going to therapy and give it time. For me working out helps a lot. Also you can get some medication that can be taken as needed so you don't have to be medicated all the time...

Edit: Sometimes after a panic attack you will have residual panic/anxiety. Try to work on some deep breathing exercises as that can help.

Almost a week now of NC. I thought I had a handle on the break up, moving forward etc. I kept myself busy all weekend, friends are all being great to me.

 

But I spent the day with my parents and siblings today. When I got in the car to drive home, I suddenly just burst into tears, had tightness in my chest, shortness of breath and felt light headed.

 

Now I am home though I am feeling a lot better, like a huge weight has been lifted.

 

I have always been anxious/worry about various things, but never, ever felt anything like that before.

 

Hopefully that was me hitting rock bottom and things can only look up now. I text my friend (who is mutual friends with him) and told her what happened.

 

If it happens again, I will go and see my GP.

I'm agreeing with the others. I had that until I became medicated. Once I felt the onset of it coming I try a breathing excersice and if doesn't work my medication..I'm agreeing with moving yourself in your enviromet as well.

I saw the doc today, she prescribed me some temazepam to help me with the lack of sleeping. I also got some valerian to use also as I don't want to be relying on the tamazepam every night. She said if I don't see some improvement in the next couple of weeks, then will look into therapy.