what to do

me and my girlfriend recently broke up and now i want to contact her to let her know that i am sorry for the way i acted during our relationship, i want to try and smooth things over, right the wrongs have us on the same page and get rid of any hard feelings, should this be something i should do now or should i wait for awhile then do it or not even bother

Just like I suggested on your last post on this, I personally think it's best to wait awhile before doing this. It's still a new break up and emotions are high, you need to let things simmer WAY done before reevaluating whether or not to go forward w/ an apology letter. In the meantime, write one to her, saying everything you want to say but DON'T send it. I know it feels urgent right now but truthfully it's not. There's nothing you NEED to say to her right at this moment. It will all still be there in a year when you're in a better place emotionally to decide what to do about apologizing.

thankyou for all the advice you guys and gals have given me here is another question i am having a real hard time forgetting about my ex and i feel that i might do something stupid like call or text her and completely ruin any chance of having any type of relationship with her any advice

How long has it been since you last had contact with her or checked out her Facebook wall?

she is not on my facebook i am trying not to look at anything about her on social media but i want to contact her so bad to talk to her but am afraid to, trying to write the wrongs

So.... how long has it been since you've had contact with her?

How long has it been since you looked at her sites/posts/accounts at places other than Facebook?

You MUST give yourself a prolonged period of No Contact/No Snooping before you start to feel better! How long has it been, really?

Also, you CANNOT *right the wrongs* at this point. You can only make things worse, not better. What you need right now is a period of NC so you can heal and get a more balanced perspective.

Have you seen this guide? There's lots of helpful information in there about sticking to NC: link removed

Before you do anything, why not try writing out here exactly what you'd want to say to her?

See if it doesn't release some pressure from your cooker--and you can also see where it leads you, how it sounds, and what you believe her likely responses would be.

Hang in there.

thanks for all the advice it's just really hard at this point, it's like i am being pulled in two different directions, part of me realizes that the relationship is over and it's probably for the best but the other part of me misses her very much and wants her back

is staying in no contact with my ex a good idea if i want to try and rebuild our relationship

Does the other person want to try and rebuild the relationship?

It takes two to tango, if she doesn't want to just send her a last message telling her what you want to do (if you want another shot or not) and just leave, no more texts or calls after that, let that marinate in her mind and let her decide on her own. No begging, pleading or any of that nonsense, I tried it, never works lol...

I would just go NC cold turkey if you're the dumpee ...

thanks for all the advice it's just really hard at this point, it's like i am being pulled in two different directions, part of me realizes that the relationship is over and it's probably for the best but the other part of me misses her very much and wants her back

I suggest you start leaning towards the realization of the relationship being over, over the "wanting her back" its always best not to have high hopes over anything in life because when things don't happen the way you want them to the disappointment and pain will be greater.

is staying in no contact with my ex a good idea if i want to try and rebuild our relationship

You rebuild the relationship before you or her decides to break up. Once the breakup happens, it is time to heal and move on. Chasing after her can be a waste of time and energy. By the time someone decides to breakup, the relationship has been over for awhile. Do yourself a favor and accept the breakup.

I think a certain amount of Nc is necessary even if there is to be a reconciliation. It helps to calm emotions, and for you to gain clarity.

Threads have been merged - pertains to same topic.

OP: It is not necessary to start a new thread every time you have a new question when it all pertains to the same topic. Thanks.

I think a certain amount of Nc is necessary even if there is to be a reconciliation. It helps to calm emotions, and for you to gain clarity.

NC is to heal and move on from a relationship.

If you're aiming toward reconciliation, it's not the way to go.

The trick is to be HONEST with yourself about your motivation. Otherwise, NC can be used as a game to try and get someone to miss you.... or to keep that hope of eventual reconciliation alive, as in the OP's case, which isn't good for healing.

sorry for all the questions but i do appreciate all the advice you have given me here is another question my ex's birthday is on august 12th i know it's awhile away but i was wondering if it would be wrong to wish her a happy birthday and even send her a card or should i just let it go

Just let it go. No text, no card, no nothing.

well i just tried contacting my ex through skype and received no response, i told her i was trying to reach out to her to talk with her but have been shunned so i told her that i wasn't going to contact her more no e-mails phone calls nothing said i was feeling like and idiot for trying to reach out and was done trying hope i made the right decision

That ship has sailed, no doubt someone else is hanging out the back of her right this second.

Which is exactly what she should be doing

NC is to heal and move on from a relationship.

 

If you're aiming toward reconciliation, it's not the way to go.

 

The trick is to be HONEST with yourself about your motivation. Otherwise, NC can be used as a game to try and get someone to miss you.... or to keep that hope of eventual reconciliation alive, as in the OP's case, which isn't good for healing.

If your're aiming for reconciliation and NC is not the way to go, Then what is the way to go if your aiming for reconciliation?

If your're aiming for reconciliation and NC is not the way to go, Then what is the way to go if your aiming for reconciliation?

If you want to get back together with someone, all you can really do is tell them how you feel and ask them if they feel the same way.

Then, the hard part: ACCEPTING their answer, even if it's a "no."

Some people will try and manipulate their ex by using NC temporarily, and this never works, it only keeps you from accepting the end of the relationship.

If someone wants to be with you, they'll let you know. You won't have to plot or scheme or cut off communication for 30 days. You won't have to do ANYTHING at all -- they'll do and say whatever it takes to make it happen.

thank you for all the help you have given me i really appreciate it i know what i must do, i also realize that it is going to be hard but i can do you have really opened my eyes to the reality of the situtation and again thank you for your help and advice