I need some advice please

Hi all.

I split with my ex 9 weeks ago, he kicked me out as couldn't cope with my moods (I suffer with depression) long story short I am now living alone. I want him back but he doesn't want me although he said he still loves me. We have both changed out phone numbers but I can't stop emailing him. I even walked 2 miles to his today just to see if he was there! I love him very much still and this whole episode has made my unless much worse. I have said some very nasty things goes to him since he dumped me. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you.

You need to get your depression under control --- therapy, medication.

He is unlikely to take you back if you keep saying nasty things to him.

Also --- depression takes a toll on those that have to deal with a bf/gf who suffers from it. And it is exhausting. I know...my bf has seasonal depression every fall/winter.

Thanks for your reply. Should I stop contacting him? I miss him so much. Thank you again.

Yes. You should stop contacting him.

I am absolutely sure he doesn't want to be yelled at for not dealing with your moods.

Also my mates and family keep telling me to forget him and move on.

Also my mates and family keep telling me to forget him and move on.

Listen to them.

You need to get your depression under control --- therapy, medication.

 

He is unlikely to take you back if you keep saying nasty things to him.

 

Also --- depression takes a toll on those that have to deal with a bf/gf who suffers from it. And it is exhausting. I know...my bf has seasonal depression every fall/winter.

It's natural for people to be angry with someone for dumping them. Depression isn't a choice and if someone is dumped for being depressed then they feel they are being unfairly punished. My wife and I both get it and have to learn with our own and each other's.

Depression is not a choice.

Dealing with your own depression is a choice.

Expecting your SO to deal with your depression/mood swings is a tall order. Most will not.

And I say that as one who does --- deal annually with my bf's depression. It isn't a bowl of cherries.

Ok! Please not that he has been very cruel to me and made several nasty comments too.

Ok! Please not that he has been very cruel to me and made several nasty comments too.

Then why do you want him back?

I have tried to kill myself twice since we split up. I am on medication and seeing a psychiatrist. Basically I want to know whether I should still chase him or give up. Thanks guys.

Because I love him

Give up.

And double up on your psychiatrist visits. Suicidal thoughts are not a joking matter.

Thanks. I know that. I have been in hospital twice with 9 weeks. I went to work yesterday after being signed off for 8 weeks. Most of my friends were mutual as we were together for 8 years, almost all of them have deserted me.

Thanks. I know that. I have been in hospital twice with 9 weeks. I went to work yesterday after being signed off for 8 weeks. Most of my friends were mutual as we were together for 8 years, almost all of them have deserted me.

I've been there on that one. It stinks. I do agree that even if you could get him back, it would not be good. Break-ups are pants (designed the T-shirt) but they are less painful in the long run than dealing with a toxic relationship. It is even possible that he could be ONE of the root causes of your depression.

Because I love him

You don't love him. You love the "him" you had before the relationship became difficult. Trust me, I know.

Thank you for your advice. My mum is always telling me that even if we got back together all the crap would be bought back up. He lied to me a few times ( hate liars ) and it started to make me feel insecure again as I suffered previously.

Depression is not a choice.

 

Dealing with your own depression is a choice.

 

Expecting your SO to deal with your depression/mood swings is a tall order. Most will not.

 

And I say that as one who does --- deal annually with my bf's depression. It isn't a bowl of cherries.

It's usually worse for us when one is down and the other isn't. Even if we're both down at the same time it sort of works because we just flop in front of the telly together. Also we try not to snap at each other unless one of us have actually done something that deserves it and we take our meds.

My bf used to distance himself when the depression came on.

He now lets me know and draws me closer. He really just needs me to know....it isn't about me. And I do.

Good for you and him.

Hi. What's the best way to try and switch my mind off from him. I have stopped walking past his house, googling etc as it made me feel worse.