Did I handle this the right way?

The other day, my ex contacted me after 2 weeks of NC. She apologized, we talked and ended things on a really good note. I told her that I understood where she was coming from, and that it was okay. I think guilt probably spurred her to reach out to me. She also told me she doesn't want to give me false hope, I told her I understand that too.

I've been moving on really well. I have gotten lots of great information, etc. I'm proud of myself for being able to forgive her, and move forward. But I still feel like I've given her the power back. We haven't spoken since that conversation, but I just feel that it's set me back a few steps. Her guilt is relieved, and my pain is lessened, but I feel weak to some degree. On one hand, I wanted to leave things on a good note, forgive her, get my answers, and more forward. But in doing so, I came off as a bit of a pushover.

Did I do the right thing? I know theres nothing to do now but continue NC, nothing is going to change. I just want to feel secure in my decision t handle things the way I did.

Thanks for your input

It doesn't matter anymore. You guys are done...and everything has been said.

All that is left to to leave it all behind.

On one hand, I wanted to leave things on a good note, forgive her, get my answers, and more forward. But in doing so, I came off as a bit of a pushover.

A pushover, how? Can you think of an alternative way to have handled this that you'd feel better about?

You handled the situation with class and moved on. There is nothing else you can do about it but move on.

A pushover, how? Can you think of an alternative way to have handled this that you'd feel better about?

That's a good thing I should consider. Now that I'm thinking what I could have done differently, I don't think any other way would have given me a better response. I'd rather leave things on a good note than a bad. So maybe allowing myself to forgive her, and avoiding digging deeper into her reasoning behind the breakup was best! The only other thing I could have done was remind her of my negative feelings, which wouldn't have gotten me anywhere. At least this way I've made some progress, feel a little bit better about it, and we've left things on really good terms. It was a very sweet conversation (hopefully not cliché).

As long as you move on and remain silent, you're in the drivers seat.

You handled the situation with class and moved on. There is nothing else you can do about it but move on.

Thanks! That's definitely true, there's nothing that would have changed except for the worse if I had handled it another way. She made the choice for herself, I do respect that. I also respect her taking the time to apologize, no matter her motives.

As long as you move on and remain silent, you're in the drivers seat.

I'm glad! I've definitely been tempted to contact her, but I wont.

Thanks! That's definitely true, there's nothing that would have changed except for the worse if I had handled it another way. She made the choice for herself, I do respect that. I also respect her taking the time to apologize, no matter her motives.

Terrific! Glad you got to this understanding. Some of the biggest hurdles to healing most of us face are the ways we behaved at breakup time. That's the stuff that compounds grief. It's hard enough to face the loss of a relationship without grieving the loss of our own dignity. You get to walk away without that burden, so you're ahead by leaps and bounds.

Head high.

You get to walk away without that burden, so you're ahead by leaps and bounds.

In a sense I've been lucky. Better sooner than later, I would hate to have continued to let my love for her grow while she continued to pull away. I'm thankful I have the ability to think and reflect critically. I could also be in a much worse situation, many people never get any answers. Or even worse experience heartbreaks, which are cruel and/or far more intense.

I'm glad! I've definitely been tempted to contact her, but I wont.

Yes. As long as you use this to really move on, then this is the closure you needed.

Thanks! That's definitely true, there's nothing that would have changed except for the worse if I had handled it another way. She made the choice for herself, I do respect that. I also respect her taking the time to apologize, no matter her motives.

That is true and that's all the matters. Anyone that can acknowledge their mistakes and own up to it is always a positive thing. Who knows, she may change for the better but it's obviously best if you two don't speak anymore for now. Tell her that it's the best way for you to move on and she will get it. Tell her that in one last message and she will get the point. If she still talks to you after that, just ignore it because it won't help you to move on even though you expressed that is the best way for you to move on.