Finally got closure.. Struggling not to contact her again.

So 2 days ago, after exactly 2 weeks of no contact my ex messaged me. She said she was sorry it was so sudden, she assured me everything she'd said was honest, and that she felt terrible for having to break it off. She just feels like the distance (we go to different universities) is too much for her, and the difficulties we experienced because of it would be all she'd get out of her college career. She told me she didn't want to give me false hope, and that she wanted time to her self, to work on herself. It was a really nice conversation (short and sweet) but we left everything on a great note, I finally feel like I have closure.

The next day she liked a lot of my facebook pictures, particularly the one that she always liked the most. I didn't know how to interpret that and decided not to read into it. But Now I'm home from New York, back where we had our last good night together, I have the house to myself, and all I can think about is inviting her over. I'd love to see her, that conversation made me want her back in my arms so badly. Even though I have my questions answered, I cant help but want to ask her over.

I know this is a bad idea, I'm sure she'd say no, but how do I keep my mind from going here? I know I shouldn't hold out hope any longer, but I still do to a degree. I love her. Any advice on how she might be feeling? Or any advice on how to keep my mind off of her while I'm home?

Thanks, just need a kick in the right direction!

She is not interested in pursuing a relationship. It is as simple as that.

You need to focus on the future now and let go of the past.

The is nothing to be gained by continuing any sort of contact.

Time will heal you...get out and enjoy the weekend.

She is feeling great - guilt alleviated over the abrupt break up, life is good.

So, do yourself a favor and either block her from FB or stay far far away from it yourself and don't respond to or answer any more of her calls or texts. Other than that, get out of the house. Call up some friends, go jog in the park, hit the gym, get yourself a nice meal, basically do whatever it is that you personally enjoy and shift your mind back to the fact that life is grand without her.

Btw....closure is when YOU accept and decide it's over.

She is feeling great - guilt alleviated over the abrupt break up, life is good.

 

So, do yourself a favor and either block her from FB or stay far far away from it yourself and don't respond to or answer any more of her calls or texts. Other than that, get out of the house. Call up some friends, go jog in the park, hit the gym, get yourself a nice meal, basically do whatever it is that you personally enjoy and shift your mind back to the fact that life is grand without her.

 

Btw....closure is when YOU accept and decide it's over.

^ This!

Here's a guide that will help you with going No Contact, so you can start to heal and move on: link removed

She is feeling great - guilt alleviated over the abrupt break up, life is good.

 

So, do yourself a favor and either block her from FB or stay far far away from it yourself and don't respond to or answer any more of her calls or texts. Other than that, get out of the house. Call up some friends, go jog in the park, hit the gym, get yourself a nice meal, basically do whatever it is that you personally enjoy and shift your mind back to the fact that life is grand without her.

 

Btw....closure is when YOU accept and decide it's over.

I think you're right.

Was it right of me to forgive her so easily? I really do understand where she's coming from, and I don't want to be in a relationship where one of us isn't happy. That said, she did ignore me for weeks, and I think her friends prompted the apology. I guess it doesn't matter now, and I've been feeling good about it.

But I wonder if maybe I should have been a little more serious about letting her know how I felt.

Then again, 'woulda, shoulda, coulda' doesn't matter now. We're both moving on, and what is meant to be will be.

Of course it was right. When you forgive, you free yourself from your ex. Forgiveness is not so much about them as it is about you and your own well being. Forgiveness is essentially letting things go, water under the bridge, let bygones be bygones, etc. Also realize that her reasons are equally applicable to you - you are now free to focus on your life, pursue a career or studies, hobbies, meet someone who is here, local and 100% into the relationship, etc.

As for telling someone who dumped you that they should have done it differently...what's the point? People will end relationships in a way that suits them and any protests from the dumpee is just added validation for ending things. However, you can turn it around and use it as closure for you - you are seeing their colors and perhaps it's best you are no longer together.

Thanks for your response!!

I agree, I really miss the feeling of being with her, the things we did together, the intimacy we shared, etc. But I do know in my heart, she's not the girl who's right for me. As hard as it is to accept, better sooner than later.