Is it ok to have hope?

Basically, I was dating a guy for a few weeks. He told me he wasn't looking for anything serious and that I shouldn't get too attached, but of course, I really liked him, so I did. I know everyone feels this way about someone at some point and they're usually wrong, but it felt like we were perfect for each other, and I doubt I'll ever meet someone like him again.

Basically he disappeared for three weeks out of no where, after 3 weeks of seeing each other. He had told me he was going to be super busy studying for exams over the next few weeks, but obviously that didn't mean he was going to drop off the face of the earth. So when he finally started talking to me again there was no apology, just a 'It's been a crazy two weeks, glad exams are over'. After a few days of him acting like nothing had happened, and me waiting for him to break it off, I decided to just ask him if he was still interested. He told me not really, and that the reason he couldn't start anything in the first place had popped back into his life and that he would tell me the whole story one day if I wanted, and that if I was cool with it he'd like to stay in contact. So basically we did stay in contact for a while, which was mostly me messaging him every few days because I couldn't help myself, and he was really kind, and there were a few nights of drunk texting, and it seemed like we may end up good friends, or even end up getting back together. But then one night I decided to ask him to tell me the whole story. He said he was in love with his best friend. They had dated for a month, and he got attached, and then she freaked out and left him and started dating someone else, which is when he met me and we started dating. Then, we she broke up with the other guy they started talking again and he stopped talking to me. Right after he told me that story, he left for Europe, and I guess when he got back he and the other girl got back together, and he stopped talking to me.

I feel like he and I were perfect for each other and I understand that he's in love with this other girl, but I feel like me and him never even got a proper chance. I doubt I'll ever meet someone I like as much as I liked him. It took six months, but I'm moving on, but still doubtful I'll like someone as much. Basically I'm wondering if it's stupid to hold out hope that me and him might end up together. I feel like we have unfinished business. Or that maybe we just met at the wrong time. But on the other hand, maybe he and his current girlfriend belong together. I know I'll move on and like someone else, I just don't think they'll ever be as perfect for me as him. Do you think there's a chance we could end up together?

I don't think you're going to end up together because he's told you he's in love with someone else.

You don't need to wait around hoping he gets over her and someday develops feelings for you: you deserve MUCH MUCH MORE than to be someone's Plan B, no matter how amazing or perfect you think he is!

Someone who's TRULY perfect for you will think you're perfect for them!

For the future, here are some early red flags you overlooked that you should be more mindful of in the future:

* when someone tells you they don't want a relationship, BELIEVE THEM. What they're saying is that they don't find you to be relationship material.

* when someone tells you they're going to be too busy to see you a lot, that means they don't care about spending time with you and see you as a convenience or a FWB. When someone has strong feelings for you, they MAKE the time to see you -- often.

You are wanting a relationship but this guy sees you as a FWB.

You're not going to be "friends" and you're not going to be boyfriend-girlfriend. It's time to stop contacting him so you can heal and meet someone who does want to be your boyfriend! He's out there waiting for you right now.

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

When the train doesn't stop at your station, it's not your train.

I know everyone feels this way about someone at some point and they're usually wrong, but it felt like we were perfect for each other, and I doubt I'll ever meet someone like him again.

Sweetie - for your sake, I hope you don't meet someone like this again. If you take off the romantic rosy-tinted spectacles, what you have is a guy who:

- will vanish off the face of the earth with no warning, explanation or apology

- will drop you like a hot potato the moment the person he really 'loves' appears back on the scene

- only contacts you when drunk

- told you right at the beginning he wasn't looking for anything serious

- is willing to use someone else when his affections lie elsewhere

This is not someone whose core values and integrity stack up as relationship material.

Honestly, if you're looking for a relationship, you need to find someone who's looking for the same thing. What you should really be hoping for is that you can totally let go of this guy emotionally, to free you up to find someone who'll love you, cherish you and give you what you want in a relationship.

It's clear that he's NOT that guy!

He is not that perfect for you as you think, you are trying to convince yourself he is the one, but he is using you as the second option. Do NOT play into this action, obviously he is trying to convince #1 why he is good for her while #2 is feeling it from his emotions since #1 just isn't sure yet about him.

Let him go and watch, he will come back because #1 will reject him at some point and he will want #2 only he will be half of what he was because you are just a rebound and he will then start to play games.

I am a guy, I have never done this to a woman before but I have seen it done. And eventually he loses both women in the end.

BUT, the main point of it all is.........You asked him if he was still interested and he replied "not really"!!

That's all you need and you don't deserve that kind of treatment from a guy no matter how perfect you think he is.